Freebirthing? (shock)I can think of some sad stories that could of been avoided, thank god they're rare in the UK. Sorry to sound negative but what are you thinking?? I feel sad that things were so bad for you that you feel the need to go it alone. Yes, there are women doing just that all around the world - usually because they are poor, but some of those women suffer awful consequences because there was no help on hand when they needed it.What a shame and so sad.Have you thought fully about the consequences if things don't go ok? Please think about how important this little person is.And you.Something minor and easily sorted by a midwife can turn serious without professional knowledge on hand to recognise when things are deviating from the norm. We can sit in another room if you want! I would hope you had a better relationship with your midwife but recognise that it is harder and a harder due to short staffing and limited budgets that we are able to give continuity of care with the same midwife.(sad)
9 times out of 10 things are great and I am all for taking the fear out of childbirth but you have to think of safety too for both you and baby. Instead of going it alone why not exercise your rights?? No-one can do anything you are not happy with. You have choices, why not use them? Lobby the government for more midwives so we're not rushed,stressed and too few to attend your home birth! We do try our best but are not superhuman either.(wink)Lots of us leave the profession in the first 2 years of qualifying. We need to work together to get women what they need.
I am a mum of 3 children who didn't have a particularly good experience in local consultant unit before I became a midwife.I birthed naturally, I used gas and air, pushed when I wanted etc but unfortunately was on my back on the bed (really hurt my back) and had a room full of unwanted people. I certainly wasn't well informed. I do understand and empaphise with women who have had a bad experience or felt they were not supported but please don't feel the only alternative is to go it alone.
I am now a qualified midwife and reflexologist in a birth centre who regularly facilitates and empowers women during their labour and birth - in and out of water. At home or in the birth centre. Most of us midwives want to give women what they want.I have facilitated home births, hospital births,hypnobirths,waterbirths etc and so have many of my colleagues at the birth centre.
It frustrates me that women are choosing to birth at a local cons unit 'just in case' rather than use the fantastic facilities we have at the birth centre/have a home birth. Then we end up constantly fighting to keep our birth centre open. Why? and then the other extreme of freebirthing. A midwife is meant to be 'with woman' and supportive. A doula's role is to support the woman but not replace a midwife.I think it's unfair to put a doula in that position.
Please think of your choices and look on the internet for support groups.Midwives online,Association of Radical Midwives,NCT, Maternity Alliance Group etc who have local groups and forums.
Rather than go it alone you can:
1.Request a home birth - one midwife will be with you in labour and another will arrive shortly before the baby is born to be on hand to sort out any problems/resusitation/get help if needed.
- You can request that the midwife is not in the room with you. 3.It is your responsibility to understand and accept any consequences in your decisions and as long as this is documented then you can exercise this right. 4.You can write a birth plan and put all your choices down. I don't know many midwives worth their salt who wouldn't accomodate your choices. It is your right. 5.If you don't feel happy with a certain midwife you can ask for another midwife (this would be subject to staffing though). 6.You can lift your baby onto your chest after your baby's born if you want to. 7.You or your partner can cut the cord. We respect your wishes. The only time we may need to cut the cord quickly is if the baby needs help/resusitating. 8.You can request that your midwife is 'hands off', 9.you can refuse to have vaginal examinations if you don't want them - it's your body and we need your consent. If a midwife asks to assess you by vaginal examination,you should get an explanantion of why the midwife may want to examine you ie is he/she concerned or unsure about the position of the baby. Is labour progressing normally or has it been long and slow or contractions coming to a stop. We should be the guardians of normal birth and there is usually a reason (we usually find out after!!) why labour is not progressing as well as it should.
10.You can have an independent midwife who will fully discuss your wishes.
11.If your wishes are outside of the usual Trust policies and/or you or your baby have additional medical needs, your midwife can discuss them with a Supervisor of Midwives to try and facilitate what you want.
Sorry to rant on but I am realistic and as a mum I know there are places up and down the country where women may not be getting the support/experience they need/want. Please use your birth centres, lobby government and make your voices heard as it's the only way women will get what they need in the future.(smile)
This is my personal opinion and I am not representing other Midwives or Hospital Trusts, just speaking from the heart!Sorry if i upset anyone, it's not intended to but I want you all to be safe and have a lovely birth.
Love and best wishes to you all and Good Luck, Karen x