ELCS due to not wanting to have vaginal pain AFTER birth?

[Dexter77]

I’m currently deciding between an ELCS and a VB with epidural. I don’t believe in enduring pain that’s unnecessary and always assumed I’d have an ELCS as I think it’s a great and safe option, but now wonder whether the latter would be preferable. What’s holding me back from attempting VB is the prospect of weeks/months of pain in vaginal area after birth, as well as the fact that postnatal aftercare of birth injuries seems to be woefully inadequate in the UK with long waiting times and insufficient support.

I’d be fine with temporary pain during birth but find the prospect of having vaginal pain for so long totally unacceptable - not even to mention other potential complications such as prolapse and incontinence.
I suppose I’m asking whether it’ll be a given to have vaginal/perineal pain AFTER the birth with VB of normal sized babies (no reason to assume mine will be big).
Keen also to hear from women who had a pain free birth but pain afterwards and how they found it.

PS: And yes, I know there’ll be pain from having an ELCS after birth, but I just know I’ll cope better with having pain in abdomen than in genital area.

It is nothing to do with a 1950’s attitude to childbirth, or child rearing. I was very clear about how I wanted my births to be, my midwives listened to me (I refused internal examinations, for example) and I was lucky enough to have the births I wanted.
Not being solely responsible for your child’s happiness (which I agree with) is very different to actively resenting them for something which is not their fault or their responsibility. Suggesting counselling wasn’t an insult, it was a genuine suggestion around dealing with your feelings around birth.

@BugMummy

I had a technical ELCS but baby was breech and we found out during surgery the cord was round her neck and arm behind her back so would've likely ended up in a crash section if I hadn't gone ELCS.

I had an infection during recover and it's a hard recover. I had her at 1321 went down about 1230 and was back on the ward by 1530 so not 10-20 mins and mine was a straightforward op.

I'm expecting again and have an appointment with the consultant next month to discuss whether to have a section again or attempt a VBAC.

I had no issues bonding with my daughter, or breastfeeding thankfully. Was out in just over 24 hours but that was due to the pandemic.

It really is major surgery and I'll have to seriously consider my options this time

Sorry to hear about that. Yes it’s a lot to consider. Having an infected scar is obviously a big concern. But could also happen with VB.

Glad to hear you bonded well with your child after your section.

I loved my planned c section, found recovery quick and felt stiff for about a week rather than 'in pain'.
I am best friends with a gynaecologist who recommended a c section over natural birth IF you are in ok-ish shape. The speed of your recovery depends a lot on previous fitness levels. I am not super fit but fairly active all day long on my feet.

I’ve had 3 babies, all vaginal births. One was born in hospital, two were born at home.
They were 6lb12oz, 6lb9oz and 7lb13oz. I had a very minor internal tear with DC1, as she pushed her chin forwards as she was born. I had 5 stitches which didn’t bother me in the slightest - barely even knew they were there. I won’t lie to you, The bruising, swelling and general soreness was brutal for the first week post-birth, but had subsided completely by the 2 week mark. After DCs 2 & 3, I had a bit of soreness for a few days after, but nothing that stopped me doing day to day activities. I wales DC1 to preschool when DC2 was about 20 hours old with no bother.

Had 2 large babies with no intervention and normal recoveries vaginally. No way would I chose to be cut open

@ThePoisonousMushroom

It is nothing to do with a 1950’s attitude to childbirth, or child rearing. I was very clear about how I wanted my births to be, my midwives listened to me (I refused internal examinations, for example) and I was lucky enough to have the births I wanted. Not being solely responsible for your child’s happiness (which I agree with) is very different to actively resenting them for something which is not their fault or their responsibility. Suggesting counselling wasn’t an insult, it was a genuine suggestion around dealing with your feelings around birth.

Some of the comments on here clearly come from that corner of the world where people believe still that a woman is to endure whatever birth her healthcare providers have in store for her, without being granted any choice. I was referring to those people.

We’ll have to disagree. I don’t know whether you’ve got any experience with PND or know people who do, but it’s ^^extremely common for women to want nothing to do with their children after a painful birth. It’s normal human behaviour, even if the child is not at fault. That’s how the human psychology can work, because the babies are the causal reason for the pain. Nothing that requires therapy if you can avoid suffering such pain in the first place.

Many many female doctors opt for a ELCS, I'll just leave that with you.

@Dexter77 I have read it and a lot of posters are questioning why are you are minimising the effects of a CS and dramatising the effects of a vaginal birth, this is why the majority of your posts are either biting peoples heads off or arguing with people.
I couldn't give a fuck how you give birth but I do care about you scaremongering other people who may not do their own research. So come on, you've listed the possible bad outcomes of a VB, let's hear them for a CS shall we?
Have you heck read the risks.

I had PND after my first birth, so yes, I have experience of it.
I had PND after a perfectly normal, calm, pleasant birth that went exactly how I planned it to.

@bytheby

I loved my planned c section, found recovery quick and felt stiff for about a week rather than 'in pain'. I am best friends with a gynaecologist who recommended a c section over natural birth IF you are in ok-ish shape. The speed of your recovery depends a lot on previous fitness levels. I am not super fit but fairly active all day long on my feet.

Why is one’s level of fitness playing into how quickly one recovers from a section? I’m pretty fit so that’s not a concern but curious about that, you’re the second or third person to say that in this thread.

[quote DoucheCanoe]@Dexter77, I'm afraid that if you've chosen to have a child it's completely ridiculous to say you'd resent them for something they have absolutely no control of.

I have long term pain issues 16 years on from my first pregnancy, not labour or birth just a run of the mill pregnancy related issue that just never really went away. It's never even occurred to me to hold it against my son!

Very odd attitude for a parent to have.[/quote]
Very odd, I completely missed about her possibly resenting her child

Fitness levels have a bearing on how quickly you recover from all surgery, not just a CS.

I’ve never had anything I’d describe as genital pain after vaginal birth. Sore and knackered, yes, but not pain. Not bad enough to take paracetamol. Some after pains, but they aren’t in the genital area. I mean, I had pgp so feeling like I’d been kicked in the crotch by a horse was par for the course for my whole pregnancies, so maybe giving birth is some relief from that rather than making it worse, but that would have been the same CS or VB.

Pain after a vaginal birth because of the vaginal birth itself isn’t something I recognise though. If that helps to reassure.

@SlamLikeAGuitar

I’ve had 3 babies, all vaginal births. One was born in hospital, two were born at home. They were 6lb12oz, 6lb9oz and 7lb13oz. I had a very minor internal tear with DC1, as she pushed her chin forwards as she was born. I had 5 stitches which didn’t bother me in the slightest - barely even knew they were there. I won’t lie to you, The bruising, swelling and general soreness was brutal for the first week post-birth, but had subsided completely by the 2 week mark. After DCs 2 & 3, I had a bit of soreness for a few days after, but nothing that stopped me doing day to day activities. I wales DC1 to preschool when DC2 was about 20 hours old with no bother.

Thanks for sharing! I could deal with limited temporary vaginal pain after birth, like yours, although it sounds very unpleasant. Glad to hear it’s possible to be recovered after such a short amount of time.

I had a ELCS for this reason, OP - I was terrified of prolapse, tears, loss of sensation. The thought of childbirth terrified me for years and ELCS was really important to me as an option.

I have no regrets. Yes my wound was sore for 6-8 weeks. But my pelvic floor is doing just fine and I have no genital pain at all.

I have had a EMCS (after 3 day labour) and and ELCS. Recovery from the elective one was no easier than the emergency one. Days spent in hospital, bad pain for weeks, left with scar adhesions that cause pain 8 years on and still some numbness. Scar is pretty long also.

It also felt so organised and calm and structured. None of the unpredictability of a vaginal birth. The spinal injection was really horrible - I was very sick and felt like my head would explode - but only for five minutes.

I think EMCS would be a very different kettle of fish. But the planned, calm nature of the CS - amazing in my experience.

On timings, it was 15-20 mins prep and surgery until my son was born, then 30 mins closing up.

"It’s not an “attitude”, don’t be a twat"

No no. You definitely don't have an attitude 🤣

@onedaysoonish

OP go for the ELCS. It's 10/15 mins to get the baby out (and they don't cut muscle - people often think they do but they don't in an ELCS) then 20/30 mins stitching you up. My scar is 10cm ish and it's not "on the abdomen" which is conjuring up the image of a scar you can see in a bikini - it is waaaay down in the pubes. No way is it visible over pants/bikini unless you are wearing very niche pants!! I didn't have any pain during the operation, the pulling the baby out felt weird but not painful, I'm a big wuss and I felt like I couldn't stand up straight properly for the first few days but the nurses looked at me like I was making it up when I walked hunched over and I do think it was the anticipation of pain if I stood up rather than pain that was actually present. I was totally fine two weeks later. The most painful part of the ELCS for me was the first poo (and I think it's good to know that because I was a bit surprised and I was sobbing in the loo). Once the stitch comes out do make an effort to use the scar gel though because if you do the scar fades super fast - I didn't and mine is still really visible 8 months later so I'm starting now but the gel works much better if the scar is new.

My OBGYN told me that 50% of first time VBs end up in intervention of some kind - forceps, EMCS etc and that a c section is marginally lower risk for the baby, VB is marginally lower risk for the mother.

They tear the muscle regardless of elective or emergency. It heals stronger than if it was cut.

@RandomCatGenerator

It also felt so organised and calm and structured. None of the unpredictability of a vaginal birth. The spinal injection was really horrible - I was very sick and felt like my head would explode - but only for five minutes.

I think EMCS would be a very different kettle of fish. But the planned, calm nature of the CS - amazing in my experience.

On timings, it was 15-20 mins prep and surgery until my son was born, then 30 mins closing up.

That’s reassuring to hear! The relative predictability is a huge selling point for me re ELCS. Sorry to hear you struggled with the spinal, I’ve had 3 and have so far always found them quite easy, although once the anaesthetist scratched my spine with the needle and that was quite painful for a few seconds.

Yes it should be under an hour for sure for an ELCS, my friend’s baby was delivered after 2 mins and she was done after 20, although that might have been unusually quick.

I'd say go for ELCS loved both of mine and will be having another one with this baby. In and out job done the thought of a sore foo foo makes me weak in the knees can't say I ever want to experience a natural birth.

Personally I'd go for a vaginal birth.

I've had two. The first had a third degree tear and the second no tear.

I don't remember any pain in my vagina after at all. In fact I had no idea I'd torn at all until the midwife told me.

When stitching me up, I was totally high on gas and air while she injected the local. Didn't feel a thing, but if you have an epidural you wouldn't feel that at all either.

I felt sore after but it was mostly muscle pain in my legs from pushing. Like you get after a good work out.

I did feel heavy in that area for a week or so after but that wasn't painful.

The worst pain was the after pain but you get that however you give birth.