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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Invited to wedding 5 days before due date - advice?

71 replies

nibblette · 30/06/2021 14:24

My partner's brother is getting married October 15th. My due date is October 20th. The birth centre and labour ward are on the same site (Warwick) and would be 45 mins [without traffic] from the wedding venue.

This is my first pregnancy and considered low risk. My partner and I are unsure whether we should attend the wedding or not. I'd like to go and keep my hospital bag in the car boot, but my partner is concerned I may be uncomfortable on the day and doesn't like the idea of me going into labour at a wedding.

Has anyone here been or decided not to go to a wedding while heavily pregnant and could offer some insight or advice? I'm going to ask my midwife about this also. x

OP posts:

20viona · 02/07/2021 15:19

I'd be planning to attend.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/07/2021 15:23

45 mins from hospital would be too far for my liking.

but it's just impossible to tell this far in advance.
I'd accept invite for now, prepare to go and reserve the right to cancel any time

Rosesareyellow · 02/07/2021 15:31

Mine arrived at exactly 38 weeks which is considered perfectly normal. You might have a week or two week old baby by then, and probably have little energy for a wedding. As pp have said, plan to go but make it clear you may need to cancel (although surely they’d realise that as it’s common sense).

RestingStitchFace · 02/07/2021 22:11

Definitely wouldn't go. At 39+2 weeks I had a 3 day old baby! The idea that first babies can't be early is a myth.

PeonyTime · 02/07/2021 22:20

I'd accept, but with the caveat you might not make it.
But then I had easy pregnancies, didnt balloon, and was generally carrying on life as normal.
I went to a wedding over an hour away at 38 weeks with DS1, and visited my parents for Christmas (200 miles away) at 39 weeks with DS2.
Both babies born in their due dates.

SparkyBlue · 02/07/2021 22:24

I'd accept as it's family but if you are feeling unwell dont feel bad about heading home early. My work colleague is on video dancing vigorously at my wedding a week before her due date. All my babies were born prematurely so with babies anything can happen and nothing is set in stone so you do need to play it by ear.

ProcrastinationIsMySuperPower · 02/07/2021 22:28

My best friend went into labour at my wedding reception.. we sent them off to hospital with a load of buffet food.

I'd accept, go if you feel well enough, and leave early if you start to flag. They'll understand.

Dilbertian · 02/07/2021 22:44

We were invited to a wedding taking place a few days after dc1's due date. Luckily, the b&g were happy to accept a conditional yes from us. Had they needed a firm answer, we would have said "no". We never did make it to the wedding, as I went into labour and dc1 was born two days later on our friends' wedding day.

Dh and I went to a dressy function far from home on dc2's due date. I felt well enough, though I did not dance . We had my labour bag and hospital pregnancy notes with us. Had I gone into labour I would have ended up at a different hospital to where I was booked, but that wouldn't have mattered - they don't turn you away. Dc2 was a week late.

If your BIL can accept a conditional, then plan to go and see how you feel when the time comes. First labours tend not to be fast, and you're likely to be able to get to hospital in plenty of time.

WhiteVixen · 02/07/2021 22:58

Two years ago my due date was also 20th October and we went to a wedding on the 18th. My first child was born at 39+4, so we accepted the wedding invite but told the couple that we may have to drop out at the last minute, or that my husband would be attending alone. In the end I was still pregnant, we went to the wedding. I played the pregnant lady card and we left around 9:30/10pm. I ended up going into labour on the evening of my due date and baby was born at 2am the next morning.

To be honest I would just accept and play it by ear. See how you feel in those final weeks.

Flippyflops2021 · 02/07/2021 23:04

Say you’ll go! You’ll either be there as a couple or a family of 3.. :)

I tend to carry on life as usual when pregnant, yes towards end can be a bit achy.. but you can’t sit around waiting to go into labour, that’s nuts!! The last few weeks/drag like anything- I know always up for a day/night out to pass the time waiting for the baby. All 3 of mine have been more than 41 weeks tho..

Findmeatthebeach · 02/07/2021 23:07

I went to a wedding 3 days before my due date, thought I slink off early but I was the last one on the dance floor!! Paid for it big time the next day though with horrendously swollen ankles. I'd RSVP OP and see how you go.

BebesChamber · 03/07/2021 03:46

I went to a wedding 4 weeks before my due date and that was a struggle as I was very immobile by that point.
Also once the evening had got going and everyone was pissed I found it very hard not to just leave.
I would decline personally.

Allthingspeaches · 03/07/2021 04:26

I went to a friend's wedding the day before my due date and had a great time. Turns out I had another 11 days to go.

MissChanandlerBong90 · 04/07/2021 14:00

I wouldn’t, but I would say my partner should go (and keep his phone on).

However I was absolutely huge at that point (massive baby) and really uncomfortable. I also had a very fast labour. So my own personal experience is definitely colouring my view.

But it is your partner’s brother so it is a big deal, not like it’s some distant friend, I totally see why you would both want to go!

BlueLobelia · 04/07/2021 14:02

@idontlikealdi

I'd accept with a huge caveat that you might not be there, and then up to them if they accept that or not.

I'd do that too.

rosalindwi · 04/07/2021 19:33

Yes go!

Jenasaurus · 04/07/2021 19:37

My first baby came at 39 weeks due on 18th Sept and came on 11th so if you are like me, you may already have had the baby

Backhills · 04/07/2021 19:42

I'd plan to go on the understanding that things might change.

GalacticDragonfly · 04/07/2021 19:54

You can’t know now how you’ll feel in October, but as long as they’re happy with one or both of you cancelling close to the day, it’s fine to keep the option open.
I wouldn’t have been able to manage a wedding that close to due date, but that’s because gestational diabetes meant the only way I could keep my blood sugar under control was with pretty strict food and exercise routines that would have been really hard to accommodate in a wedding. I’d have been fine with my partner going as long as not drinking and able to get back if needed.

pigglepot · 06/07/2021 17:20

I'm in a very similar situation. I'm going to go to the ceremony (unless I've already given birth) but not the meal etc mainly out of consideration for the bride and groom because I don't want them to have to pay for our meals and do their table plan with us there if there is a chance I'm in labour/can't make it/have given birth.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 06/07/2021 17:30

I went to a wedding a week before my due date. I planned a home birth and the wedding was an hour away. DD ended up being 2 weeks late but even if she hadn't early labour went on for about 3 days so I'd have had plenty of time to get home. DP wasn't as keen as me, mainly because he didn't want to go to a wedding sober. I had a great time and it was a nice distraction and every year on fb a picture pops up of me heavily pregnant with my friends at the wedding and its a great memory.

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