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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Invited to wedding 5 days before due date - advice?

71 replies

nibblette · 30/06/2021 14:24

My partner's brother is getting married October 15th. My due date is October 20th. The birth centre and labour ward are on the same site (Warwick) and would be 45 mins [without traffic] from the wedding venue.

This is my first pregnancy and considered low risk. My partner and I are unsure whether we should attend the wedding or not. I'd like to go and keep my hospital bag in the car boot, but my partner is concerned I may be uncomfortable on the day and doesn't like the idea of me going into labour at a wedding.

Has anyone here been or decided not to go to a wedding while heavily pregnant and could offer some insight or advice? I'm going to ask my midwife about this also. x

OP posts:
FluffMagnet · 30/06/2021 15:14

I'm planning on going to my sister's wedding at just shy of 39 weeks. It's a good 2.5 hrs away from my hospital, so my family and DH think I'm nuts. Obviously worst scenario I have to go to the local hospital, which doesn't have the best rep, and I want an ELCS rather than VBAC. I just can't imagine not being at my sister's wedding though so ...

Devondonkey · 30/06/2021 15:17

I’d go! I needed distraction by that point. I went to a wedding a week before my due date and had fun. (First baby was induced at 12 days overdue!)

Merryhobnobs · 30/06/2021 15:19

Both my babies were late. It generally once I hit the 37week mark I really didn't want to go far and wasn't up for much socialising. I was tired and sore. However it depends. I'd you really want to go then be prepped to leave early. Listen to your body. Those last few weeks can be a bit of a slog.

bengalcat · 30/06/2021 15:23

If you’d like to go then say yes but obviously point out that you will be heavily pregnant and may need to pull out at the last minute .
Importantly discuss the what ifs with your partner - ie staying sober at the wedding , if you just didn’t feel up to going how would he / you feel about him attending alone and how much ceremony / feast / both etc .

Strokethefurrywall · 30/06/2021 15:25

I’d go as well. I felt physically fine right up to the day they were born.
Felt far worse in early pregnancy than later on!

AtillatheHun · 30/06/2021 15:29

I did! father in law’s wedding, a couple of hours from home a few days before due date. I took my notes in the car, and it was an early event anyway so no dancing until 3am. It was perfectly fine - what else are you going to be doing? Might as well go Amd have a nice time.

Dollywilde · 30/06/2021 15:29

I’d have been able to go, no problem. I drove solo to pick something from B&Q the day before my due date and that’s 45 mins from the hospital. Was great fun when the store assistant asked my due date and I said ‘tomorrow’ Grin Wound up giving birth 4 days after due date.

Every pregnancy is different but I was so bloody bored after about 37/38 weeks that I’d have loved a wedding! Flat shoes and sober DH though, obviously. And an understanding from the B&G that you might not be able to make it if you’re feeling rough/in Labour/have given birth. But it sounds great to me!

HorriderHenry · 30/06/2021 15:32

I’d have gone as long they’re not going to be crazy at all if you change your mind/if you don’t turn up with a newborn etc. It’s a big deal and you’re close family.

Hallyup6 · 30/06/2021 15:34

I went to a wedding 9 days before my due date, probably about half an hour's drive from the hospital. I was fine, we didn't stay forever and went home when I was tired. I went 5 days overdue anyway.

I'd say you'd be ok with a first baby. It usually takes a while for labour to get established so if you feel in the slightest bit like you're niggling, go home. You wouldn't be going straight to the hospital at the first twinge of labour anyway.

Do what you're comfortable with though.

Notaroadrunner · 30/06/2021 15:35

Depending on how I feel at the time I'd like to think I'd go. If you don't feel up to it nearer the day then tell them but your partner should go regardless. Just tell him to lay off the booze in case he needs to get to the hospital.

puppygalore · 30/06/2021 15:53

I was bridesmaid for my best friend 2 weeks before my second child's due date, in the end baby came a week early. So not quite as close as you, but I'm so glad I did it. I'd have been gutted sitting at home waiting for baby to arrive and knowing I was missing seeing the couple getting married. It was quite a high risk pregnancy, and about 1.5 hours from my home and hospital. But if I'd gone into labour at the wedding venue I knew there was a hospital nearby. Comfort-wise I was fine, it was a hot July day and I wore a big maternity maxi/bridesmaid dress and flat sandals and just didn't stay too late at the reception m. I'd RSVP yes but let the couple know you may need to decline nearer the time should things start happening. I'm sure they'll be understanding.

FakeColinCaterpillar · 30/06/2021 16:58

If DH wants to stay later is there someone who can drive you home after meal?
I was really bored at this stage of pregnancy, you might be glad of the distraction. However you might be large and uncomfortable so would plan to go home when you can.

nibblette · 30/06/2021 18:03

Thank-you everyone I really appreciate all your advice and input! Going to relay the feedback to my partner tonight, this will definitely help us make a more informed decision. Thank-you all 😊 x
💜💕💜💕💜💕

OP posts:
notalwaysalondoner · 30/06/2021 18:32

Based on the location being so close I would go, and just quietly leave if you get tired. I’m 37 weeks and still feel completely fine. We had to decline a few weddings around the due date but they were on the other side of the country.

HPmagic · 30/06/2021 18:34

I would go, even if labour began you aren't going to suddenly go from nothing to a crowning baby. You will get some s cramps and stuff first so will be aware on the day if your not feeling it. Also you may enjoy some nice food and music before baby arrives, then leave when it suits you.

Bedtimeforever · 30/06/2021 23:30

I am invited to a wedding on my due date, and I have RSVP’d with a yes, see you there. Let’s hope I do see them there!

annlee3817 · 30/06/2021 23:49

I went to a wedding three days after my due date, wanted to try and dance the baby out 😂 I only went for a couple of hours and then sloped off home early, it was an evening do

55378OO8 · 01/07/2021 00:03

I would go because it is local, and a close family member too. Have a talk with your DH first about not drinking and the possibility that you will want to leave early.

Kinsters · 01/07/2021 05:29

I'd plan to go but make it super clear you might have to leave early or might not even make it. If they're not ok with that then decline.

I went to a birthday party five days after my due date, waters broke just as we were about to sit down for dinner 🙈 we just left straight away and it was fine - the host's mother gave us a Tupperware of food to take away. That was just a buffet though, not a sit down meal so it didn't really matter whether we were there or not.

LittleRa · 01/07/2021 05:55

My first was born at 38+4 and my second at 39+2, both spontaneous labours, so I wouldn’t have made it to an event 5 days before due date.

otterbaby · 01/07/2021 06:18

Agree with others - go and enjoy yourself (assuming you haven't had the baby yet)! A bit of dancing might get things moving anyway 😀

quitecrunchy · 01/07/2021 20:12

Both mine were 2 weeks late. I'd have been very pleased to have had something to break up the expanse of time between starting mat leave and the baby arriving!

MM1993 · 01/07/2021 21:39

I'm planning on attending a wedding 10 days before my due date that's a 45 min drive away. I've just told the bride that I may have to cancel last minute if baby comes early etc

PattyPan · 01/07/2021 21:46

I'd decline. If it were me, I wouldn't want them to have to pay for the places/miss out on being able to invite someone else and then end up not being able to go.

ChocOrange1 · 02/07/2021 12:58

I would go, but make it very clear to the couple that you may not be able to attend. 45 minute drive isn't that bad, many people have that for their local hospital. "Going into labour at a wedding" is a lot less dramatic than it sounds. Very few people have waters breaking, immediate screaming contractions like you see on TV. It usually starts with some mild cramps and for first time mums this can go on for hours or even days, so you would have some notice. If the mild cramps start at the wedding you can leave quietly. You wouldn't be panting and pushing in the aisle don't worry