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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Invited to wedding 5 days before due date - advice?

71 replies

nibblette · 30/06/2021 14:24

My partner's brother is getting married October 15th. My due date is October 20th. The birth centre and labour ward are on the same site (Warwick) and would be 45 mins [without traffic] from the wedding venue.

This is my first pregnancy and considered low risk. My partner and I are unsure whether we should attend the wedding or not. I'd like to go and keep my hospital bag in the car boot, but my partner is concerned I may be uncomfortable on the day and doesn't like the idea of me going into labour at a wedding.

Has anyone here been or decided not to go to a wedding while heavily pregnant and could offer some insight or advice? I'm going to ask my midwife about this also. x

OP posts:

mrssunshinexxx · 30/06/2021 14:25

I would rsvp to say you are going and just slope off early. I think I majority of women with first babies go late not early x

TonkinLenkicks · 30/06/2021 14:27

I wouldn’t. Even if you aren’t on time you won’t want to do anything in those final weeks.

ParishSpinster · 30/06/2021 14:28

I would say you'll go.

Even if you go into labour in the wedding day, you are very unlikely to end up giving birth on the dance floor. You can just slope off if you feel uncomfortable never mind if you start having contractions.

If you've got a brand new baby, you don't have to go.

AtrociousCircumstance · 30/06/2021 14:29

Politely decline. That’s too close.

MindyStClaire · 30/06/2021 14:30

I would've been able for it on both of my pregnancies, although i wouldn't have lasted long. I went to a wedding at 36 weeks two hours away and it was fine. Given it's close family I assume they'll be ok with you deciding much closer to the time, so just tell them you can't guarantee anything but you'll go if you can.

Sunshinedaisymeadowsxx · 30/06/2021 14:31

First baby for me was 3 days early, came at 39+5, I worked up until this date as this was the date I’d planned to go off on mat leave. I’d say you can go, to the ceremony and probably slink off after wedding brekkie. They will understand.
Everyone if diff though as your midwife will tell you!

Putonabrew · 30/06/2021 14:31

I attended a wedding a week before my due date. Went into labour the next day (think the food and dancing got things moving!) Chances are you won’t go into labour on that day and if you do start having contractions, baby will take a good while to come so you can always go home at the first signs if needed. Make the most of your last child-free event!

MyHusbandTheIdiot · 30/06/2021 14:32

I would have gone, both pregnancies. 45 minutes is fine. You can always decline later if you are feeling unwell, but if you say no now then feel absolutely fine at the time you might feel a bit daft sitting at home.

JE17 · 30/06/2021 14:32

I'd say I'm going, assuming that baby will be late rather than early. Then see how you feel at the time. I had a straight forward pregnancy and I'd have been happy to get out in those last few days of freedom.

idontlikealdi · 30/06/2021 14:33

I'd accept with a huge caveat that you might not be there, and then up to them if they accept that or not.

Doublechocolatetiffin · 30/06/2021 14:33

It's doable if you want to go and the host is fine with the fact that you may have to cancel last minute. I liked to keep busy towards the end of pregnancy so a wedding that's not too far away would be fun. Everyone is different though.

NameChange070421 · 30/06/2021 14:33

I was matron of honour at a wedding 5 days before I was due with my first and had a fabulous time, with hospital bag, notes and car seat in the car, just in case. I'd say go for it!

Comefromaway · 30/06/2021 14:33

I would decline but both of my babies were early. Dd by 3 days ds by 8 days.

motogogo · 30/06/2021 14:33

I would raise your concern that it is close and you might need to cancel, see the reaction, if they don't mind go ahead, if they are super cost conscious etc best to decline

OchonAgusOchonOh · 30/06/2021 14:35

I went to a wedding 14 days before my due date and 3 days before I gave birth (mine were all early). I had a ball. Only issue was the singer in the band was terrified I'd go into labour on the floor and kept changing to slower songs every time I got up to dance .

45 minutes drive from hospital is fine. The only issue would be if you have the baby before the wedding but I assume the bride and groom will be understanding if you don't go in those circumstances.

MaggieFS · 30/06/2021 14:40

I'd go. Make the most of your last child free occasion!

timeisnotaline · 30/06/2021 14:40

I would go, obviously warn them that if baby arrives early you will be a no show. 45 mins away is enough for a first baby. Check there will be a chair, take water bottles, consider leaving early. You will have to warn your dh he can’t be drinking though, I hope he realises that already even if it is his brothers wedding!

Micemakingclothes · 30/06/2021 14:46

My house was 45 minutes from the hospital so that part seems like a non-issue.

I would plan to attend, but obviously not make a late night of it. It’s his brother. At least try to attend the ceremony and be there for the toasts and such.

Cakeandslippers · 30/06/2021 14:46

I was planning on going to a family members wedding 2 days before my due date with my second. It was cancelled due to covid, baby was 2 weeks late so I'd have been ok. I'd say you'll go, I'm sure the bride and groom will understand if you need to pull out.

Micemakingclothes · 30/06/2021 14:48

And obviously neither of you does any drinking.

Bride and groom and need to be prepared for you to not show up or to slip out the back and just send a discreet text to a designated person so you don’t draw attention.

sarah13xx · 30/06/2021 14:51

I’m near the end now and physically I could go no bother. I’m not uncomfortable or anything so would be fine. We’ve been invited to a bbq the weekend before I’m due though and we’ve said we can’t go. It’s about the same distance away but it’s the fact I could catch covid then not get my c-section when it’s planned for or end up having to go in alone if my partner is positive. I think people will fully understand. You might also end up having the baby before then

IggyAce · 30/06/2021 14:52

Both my dcs were early so it’s a possibility that you may be attending with a newborn. I’d plan on attending but leave early (probably after the food). I’d just warn the couple that you may need to cancel last minute.

NakedAttraction · 30/06/2021 14:52

@TonkinLenkicks

I wouldn’t. Even if you aren’t on time you won’t want to do anything in those final weeks.

5 days before my due date I was still going to spin classes and went to my work Christmas party. I would definitely have been fine going to a wedding.

OP I would rsvp yes and if you need to bail closer to the time they will understand. I certainly wouldn’t plan on being at home missing out.

Greenmarmalade · 30/06/2021 14:54

I’d plan to go, but make them aware that you might need to leave early or cancel. You might really enjoy the distraction. Plus you might have another 2 weeks to go.

Make sure neither of you are given jobs to do on the day and that DP doesn’t drink so he can drive you to hospital if needed.

LaLaLouella · 30/06/2021 15:00

If plan to go but warn the bride & groom that you might have to cancel or leave early - I'm sure they'd understand!

At that stage in both my pregnancies I was absolutely fine and going about my normal business- not everyone is exhausted and unhappy!

Take your hospital bag and notes just in case :)

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