How did/are you getting over your fears of a vaginal birth

[thegardener]

Considering trying for another baby but frightened of the birth - ds heart rate slowed and had to be delivered by ventouse(which didn't work after 2nd attempt) then forseps with an episotomy - only had g&a and tens machine.

Would consider epidural this time if i had the chance??

If you haven't already, I think you need to go to the place where you had the birth to talk about it. They keep your notes for years.

I have a friend who went in to talk about her first (traumatic) birth while she was expecting number 2, and they agreed an elective caesarian for the second one. This could be option for you if you are really worried about a vaginal birth.

I sympathise.

Having had a 'difficult' vb the first time (labelled traumatic in my case notes) NO pain relief & medical problems postnatally I dreaded going back to the same hospital and giving birth. However, this time I was guaranteed an epidural by the mws (otherwise I would have had an ec offered by the consultant) and it was fantastic!

Had my waters broken, it took 5 hours from start to finish, epi topped up by the anaesthestist, I can honestly say it was a pleasure! Totally laid to rest the ghosts of the past.

Your likelihood of an epidural depends on which hospital you go to and the nature of your previous problems.

hmm, my experience of childbirth sounds very similar to yours.. .i think there were three failed attempts with the ventouse before they got the forceps out. I was protesting bitterly that i didn't want forceps and they managed to get the baby out on the fourth attempt with the ventouse. but by then I had virtually no pain relief as the pethidine i'd been given many hours earlier had well worn off. I've never known such agony in my life.
my "active" labour was almost 15 hours, and that was after 30 hours of "pre labour."
I do want more children but i'm seriously considering an elective c-section next time.
One thing I would recommend if you decide to go ahead with another vaginal birth is getting a doula, if you can afford it. I had one and as a result I still feel relatively positive about the whole awful experience. She was amazing.

Thanks for your messages, i know that having a baby is what we're made to do & at the end it is truely worth it & that you just have to brave if you want another, just wish it could be as easy as your Heated