Why is everyone so anti elective c-section?

[Gangle]

I'm only 7 weeks pregnant but am sure I want an elective c-section. I've read extensively around the subject and think I'm well informed on the pros and cons of elective c-section v VBAC but it seems there is so much stigma attached to elective c-sections and that people will do/say anything to attempt to dissuade you from having one. Just wondering why there isn't more respect for your wishes about how you want to give birth.

Funy you should say torturing kittens, he did tell me that if Ihave a csection I could die and he didn't want to see my husband in court, oh and, not to worry when delivering normally because if the baby gets stuck they will do what they do in Africa and cut my pelvis, then for 3 weeks after birth keep me in bed on my side with a pillow wedged between my legs, then get me up walking..... oh yes I can see that happening with a 2 year old in tow!

He sounds like a treat. I want him for my next pregnancy - not!

What an arse! Yes you could die during a cs. You could also die during a vaginal delivery.

He would be negligent to disregard the advice of medical professionals (ie from the pain clinic) in considering the best course of action. Feel free to point that out to him. Also you can tell him you want another surgeon since he finds it such a chore delivering your babies!

I won't be having any more babies after this one, as much as I would love to, think my pelvis has had enough!

Ah what a shame, so your chances for developing friendship with your obstetrician are at an end? And it was such a promising relationship too ]

Never say never!

I have read a lot but not all of this thread so far but i will be making my way through the rest of it.

I had an em cs with ds1 after a long difficult labour, when ds's oxygen level had started to drop. i had never even considered the possibility of a cs whilst pg however obv i agreed as it was in my baby's best interests.

afterwards i suffered pnd mainly due to feeling like i'd failed my baby and myself by not being able to give birth naturally. it took me a long time to come to terms with.

i am now pg again and i have truly agonised over whether to have an elec cs or attempt vbac. i would dearly love to have this baby by vb, however i don't believe i could cope with going through the trauma again of being in the final stages of labour to have to face an emergency cs again.

i have made the extremely difficult decision to have an elective in 3 days time. until now i was secretly hoping that i would go into labour and give birth really quickly (like, before i got to hospital!) but now it's looking very unlikely.

i am staying positive and focussing on the pros, however clinical they sound, eg being able to arrange childcare for ds1, guaranteeing that dp will be present (he works away during the week) etc.

if i could have been given a reasonably good chance of a successful vb this time i think i would've taken it (i do have a few biological issues that make it less likely too).

i have been questioned about my decision by many people and asked to justify it, and have even been accused of believing that i am 'too posh to push' (albeit by someone who barely knows me and knows nothing about the reasons for the cs). i really do understand both arguments and believe that the decision to have a cs should never be taken lightly. fear is also very real to the person feeling it and can sometimes be a reason for any decision. i have made my decision in conjunction with my mw, consultant, dp and my mother (who will be caring for ds1 while i am not able to do so) and i have become so fed up with people interrogating me, believing they have the right to know the most intimate details about a very personal matter.

i am not flaming at anyone on here, more so that i am venting my frustration and anger at rl people after yet another day of having to explain myself.

thank you for letting me vent maybe i'll be able to sleep tonight now that i've been able to let off some steam.

LLL xx

I know, I am gutted I was even thinking of putting him on my Christmas Hit List, ooh I mean Card List!

Oh and the silly arsehole wasn't willing to look at the xrays because he said he wouldn't know what he was looking at!!!! And after all with respect the advice I received was only from a pain clinic consultant. Yeah right,the only guy who has seen me since this all kicked off, my DS is 2 in a week and that is how long this has been going on for!

loopyredangel, I am finding your posts terrifying. This consultant sounds really shocking. I can't believe he's spoken to you like that.

Didn't mean to scare anyone. Think I am still in shock, this was all said at my 20 week visit, so as you can gather I am really apprehensive and have not been looking forward to having my gorgeous child, I think it has contributed to the fact I don't seem to be bonding to my bump very well

Oh LLL.

I hope all goes well for you.

lll, hope all goes well. if any help i had huge probs bonding with 2nd ds while preg, 4 a whole host of reasons 2 long 2 list. right up untill i gave birth i honestly but ashamed to say felt i could give birth then give the baby awat coz i felt nothing when preg (i wouldt of actually done it but felt able 2) but fortunely as soon as i gave birth that all changed and had no probs bonding with him, hope u find the same im sure u will. good luck

You can definitely have continence problems if you have a CS - my friend's had two CS and has had to have corrective surgery to her pelvic floor (and both were emergencies so she didn't labour at all).

Haven't read all the posts, so don't know if this is already covered.

As we have evolved, our heads have got bigger, although we're all so stupid it must be something to do with all the adding up we have to do to calculate the cost of all the shopping we do.

We need to catch up with this evolution by being able to more efficiently deliver a bigger head.

If we have elective c sections, we won't really be evolving to cope with our own evolution.

And we will die out. Probably a very good thing for many other species, though.

LLL, I hope all goes well for you and your baby. Following 2 failed attempts at v-home birth, I opted for an elective with dd3...it was relaxed, calm and by far my most pleasurable of the 3. I would love to have had perfect vaginal births, but it wasn't to be, and I'm glad I didn't have to go through another emergency c/s. I would add though that I made a thorough c/s borth plan that involved quiet in theatre, and dimming the lights etc, that made all the difference to me knowing I'd done the best I could to bring dd3 into the world as gently as possible despite the circumstances. Enjoy your birth

Eh, Freakshow? So you think we all have a duty to birth vaginally in support of evolution? What you describe is a reason to have a section not a reason to partake in putting mother or baby's life at risk in the name of evolution.

Loopy, your consultant is atrocious. He should be reported. No idea where or to whom, but I think the treatment you describe is intolerable. I suppose the best thing for you to do right now is be very firm in your requests and let him write whatever he wants on the notes.

Feakshow, but in order to get the improved head/pelvic dimentions via evolution you would have to let labouring women with the wrong diementions die, and let their children die with them. To 'kill off' the genes that produce the wrong dimentions.

I'd rather not be sacrificed on the altar of ergonomically proportioned skeletal development, thanks.

Do you also intend to kill off those carrying, say, genetic diseases, or do you only plan to kill off the cervicaly incompetent?

And Loopyloulisa, I know how you feel. It is annoying when people think they have a say in something that is in fact none of their business. But, in a way, it's a crash course for the rest of parenthood where people will judge you on whether breast feed, whether you work, what kind of childcare you do or don't choose, whether you husband is involved enough whether you pay for private school, and so on...

Just do what's best for you and your baby and tell them all to piss off.

The ones that got me the most were men that come up and say "When my wife was pregant..." as if that makes them more qualified than I am to make decisions regarding my body, birth, baby, etc.

eleusis, martinabishop, point taken. I'm not keen to kill off those that are unable to have a natural childbirth.

I'm just concerned about the level of reliance women have on the medical profession when giving birth. Most of us don't even know how to cut a cord: that's a pretty poor show - we are female animals! I feel a sense of impending doom the further we move away from nature.

Why, Freakshow? Why does it bother you if other women prefer a medicalised approach to childbirth?

I prefer the medical approach. I think a doctor should attend the birth and it should be in a hospital of my choosing. Of course, not everyone wants this and that's fine. I was talking to someone at church the other day wh ois planning a home birth. I think she's crazy. But, hey it's baby number 3, she knows what she's doing and it's her choice so I hope she gets what she wants.

And, erm... I don't even want to see the cord, let alone clamp it or cut it. Yuck. Someone else do that for me, please.

eleusis, in the system we are in, I would support every woman's right to the type of birth she would prefer. But looking at where we are as a race, I'm horrified by how horrified we are at our own nature and physicality. Your cord is an amazing thing!

Agree with your last post there FS

I gave birth vaginally and ended up with a third degree tear and a post partum haem. HOWEVER I would still go for a vaginal birth again because it healed so quickly and I wasn't in any pain from it! I walked like a cowboy for a couple of days and that was it. I could not be doing with the recovery of a C Section. Tearing and being cut sounds horiffic but I didn't care or feel it at the time. Giving birth is totally mind boggling however you do it I suspect, but it's nothing compared to how confused and overwhelmed you feel with a brand new tiny human to look after.

My fear of childbirth had nothing at all to do with the media. I was simply scared of the body taking over feeling, and that feeling of being out of control and alone.

If I look back on my first birth I felt completely alone during it, despite lots of nice supportive people around me. Totally alone, almost like dying. No amount of doulas, kind birthplans, or birthplans would ever ever eradicate this.

I am really suprised how many people find giving birth so fullfilling. It was the most isolating, out of control, alone experience I have ever known. I haven't forgotten ANY of the feelings despite the myth that you forget once the baby is in your arms

I back original op to hilt! Section was the best experience of my life, vaginal birth was the worst

kind midwives of course. BTW I did loads of research before birth, but still didn't change my view

Gangle, I felt the same way as you do when I was pregnant but giving birth to my ds was an amazing experience. It wasn't nearly as icky or painful as I expected and I didn't feel undignified. Every time I remember the birth it makes me smile.

As for your other worries: I have no problem with incontinence or sex. The only problem I have with my body now (and this is maybe one answer to your question about other changes to the body after having children) is my saggy breasts after a year of bfing.

How you give birth is your decision but I just feel sorry for you that you might be missing out on some of the best parts of childbirth - after all, you can't avoid some unpleasant bits.