Why is everyone so anti elective c-section?

[Gangle]

I'm only 7 weeks pregnant but am sure I want an elective c-section. I've read extensively around the subject and think I'm well informed on the pros and cons of elective c-section v VBAC but it seems there is so much stigma attached to elective c-sections and that people will do/say anything to attempt to dissuade you from having one. Just wondering why there isn't more respect for your wishes about how you want to give birth.

If you are afraid of making a spectacle of yourself then, boy are you going to have a hard time over the next 18 years!

Children are a constant source of public humiliation!

I think you are really really going to need to see if there is a way you can be helped through this, or giving birth is going to be the least of your worries!

Trust me when I say you make far more of a spectacle of yourself covered in poo in the frozen food isle of tesco, fighting against a tantruming toddler who somehow managed to whip off his nappy and wants to put it on his head. (or yours, he doesn't much care which)

Birth? Pah, it's afternoon tea with the Queen in comparison!

Also, too, if you think your body is going to be the same after you have a baby, even if you have a csection, guess again!

It changes. With age, with pregnancy. No matter what.

It just does.

It's not JUST that, lots of reasons which we've been over and over countless times with no resolution - scroll to bottom.

in what way expat? The obvious stuff?

It varies from woman to woman, Gangle, but it does change. Even with a csection, there are usually some changes in the pelvic floor after pregnancy just because of the hormones associated with pregnancy and with the womb growing so much. Your cervix also changes.

Some womens' nipples change colour and shape and just stay that way.

If you have more than one child, it changes even more, no matter what the mode of birth.

Actually the biggest risks of incontinence comes from something entirely unavoidable: age. Children or no.

what do they mean when they say that your bone structure changes? I know that your joints and ligaments loosen up but didn't think they changed permanently.

Well Gangle, people want to dissuade you for very good reason and that is because in the majority of cases a caesarian is uneccessary and really should only be carried out if necessary, when of course if it is a lifesaver. Lots of people on this thread have given you very sensible advice which hopefully you will take note of.

I actually don't think that you have a phobia. I think you have middle class trumped up anxiety syndrome and should pull yourself together and realise that when you have a baby your life changes and your sexlife changes and your body changes and this is normal and not a negative thing.

gangle, i'm with you on this. i have just had my first baby and i researched the option of elective C-section very extensively, as I was extremely concerned about the damage childbirth would do to my pelvic floor.
after much agonising, i decided to go for a natural childbirth, for all the good reasons mumsnetters have outlined. In addition I felt that experiencing childbirth was a sort of rite of passage. I did everything in my power to make the experience as good as possible - a hypnobirthing course, hired a doula, etc etc.
Now, four weeks later, I have to say that many of the things I feared would happen to me DID happen. My labour experience was extremely traumatic and off the scale painful!
I ended up with ventouse and an episiotomy. I The doctors were on the brink of getting the forceps out when they finally managed to pull the baby out with the ventouse after several failed attempts.
Apparently if I'd had an epidural (I managed on gas and air and one shot of pethidine) my 9lb baby would have had to be delivered by emergency C-section, which surely is much worse than an elective!
I have a minor uterine prolapse, and I have stress incontinence. Sex looks an unlikely prospect for quite some time. So, whilst I don't exactly regret my decision, I will be pushing for a c-section next time. And I totally respect anyone who researches it thoroughly, and decides an elective c-section is the lesser of two evils for them!
Of course there are lots of mums out there who have MUCH easier and more positive birth experiences than i did, and many who have much worse experiences than me, but I don't think we should be too judgemental about elective c-sections for those who have thought it all through carefully and weighed up the pros and cons.

I have not read ANY OF THIS. But want to say that we have to have children whatever blooody way. Who gives a shit if you had an elective cesarean, I am more interested in you if you know how to control a nearly 4 year old without reading a book.

gangle u asked about the sexual function after vb, im is not a normal case but after my crash section my stomach was so bad that my now xh would not came anywhere near me he was repulsied by my stomach, yes i know a pig, from after my section to a yr and a half after we probably had sex 3 times and i dont think he wanted it then. eventually he said he would pay 4 me to have tummy tuck despite us having no money. i refused and he left a month later. so sections not always good 4 yr sex life either

choclate buttons always worked for me - but oops i've had two c-sections so obviously am a rubbish parent!

btw the nhs wont pay to have my stomach corrected even though it thier fault

Feel I have to put in that non-CS interventions are not necessarily traumatic, any more than elective CS necessarily is. OK, it certainly wasn't my ideal birth to be continuously monitored and have ventouse and episiotomy, but I was so well looked after, made to feel so involved and it was all done with such skill that I didn't feel traumatised in the slightest - tired, yes, stunned and shell-shocked, yes (but most of that was due to the post-natal 'care' ), but I recall the birth as on balance a positive experience. And the episiotomy healed like magic.

miniegg, I had a similar birth experience first time. Except I had forceps birth.

I'm glad I tried for a vaginal birth second time.

NO pain relief at all, over in minutes and only a graze.

Healing from childbirth takes time no matter what the mode of delivery.

I also had a maxed out epidural for the forceps delivery.

TBH, the most difficult thing about having children is not a vaginal birth, that is past and done within hours. Your body will change, but that will be a minor change comapred with the changes your life will take.

I've had two VBs, followed by a semi-elective CS (ie went in to be induced, but it was decided to go for an elective on the day due to problems, but not an emergency).

Considering all three births were quite medicalised (with good reason in my case) all three experiences were positive. Having felt quite out of control throughout my first pregnancy, it was a damned relief to actually be giving birth by any method. (I was terrified with DS1 because I had a lousy pregnancy and went so far as to discuss having a CS with the consultant, but DS1 had other ideas)

Given a choice after my experiences I would opt for VB.

I don't really care how other pregnant women give birth - to me it's a means to an end, but would suggest that any woman should think carefully before choosing major surgery for anything other than medical considerations.

I do know of one mum who had a CS with her first and she felt bereft at being unable to give birth naturally.

Well I chose a c-section 2nd time around as first birth was awful.

It was fantastic, much much better than vaginal birth which left me wiped out for 3 weeks.

I am pro section and would choose it every time if I had another one. It was such a relief knowing I wouldn't have to go through those hellish hours of labour again. It was like a sense of freedom.

Not too posh to push, too damn terrified to push...

I really wanted an elective cs with my first - you have no idea what birth will be like. I have now had 2 natural no pain relief births and am having a 3rd. The ward bit afterwards is horrid as it the no sleep.

Gangle, you started the thread. Most people, by bitter experience, are trying to tell you not to do it, but your mind's made up. You want your Jack'n'Danny intact. Bully for you, kid.

In your initial OP you mentioned VBAC in the same breath as saying that you were well-informed on the subject It's actually nobody's business if you want to go ahead with this. But, since you asked ....

Gangle- it is your decision but consider s whether you are scared/anxious and that is influencing your decision. it seems a very definite and somewhat early decision, u have another 33weeks to figure it out

attend birth class
chat to other mums
chat to midwife
read literature/dvd/books
Suppport groups
NCT

but to reiterate your decision But i do not think the mode of delivery necesarily affects bonding or successful bonding.delivery is a process birth the outcome

there can be a subtle pressure for real birth and the implication that it is best undertaken completley painfree squatting down singing kumbyyaah with no medical intervention - again up to u

many mums - many ways to do it

Haven't read all the posts since my last but I see the cost of electives to the NHS has been the topic of discussion, amongst other things. I do have to wonder, if the NHS did agree to cover it, really how many surgeries would that be, anyway? I mean, I honestly don't think the number of women considering an elective section would instantly shoot up just b/c it was covered.

I'm in the US and my insurance initally was not going to cover my c-section. I scheduled it anyway because that is what I wanted and needed after the trauma of ds1's birth.

To be frank, if you want your fanny and nethers to stay the way they are pre-kids: don't have kids and don't get old.

There's really not other way round it because pregnancy will change things csection or no.

So will age.

That's how it goes.

Celebs give you the impression it doesn't. They're photoshopped to holy hell in all those photos for one.

Number two, have a really good look at Geri Halliwell's tummy. Cuz her skin looks 35. It happens.

Desi, you can't use the words 'Jack & Danny' on here ffs.