Why is everyone so anti elective c-section?

[Gangle]

I'm only 7 weeks pregnant but am sure I want an elective c-section. I've read extensively around the subject and think I'm well informed on the pros and cons of elective c-section v VBAC but it seems there is so much stigma attached to elective c-sections and that people will do/say anything to attempt to dissuade you from having one. Just wondering why there isn't more respect for your wishes about how you want to give birth.

I'm not 100% and the point of the original post was to get some really compelling arguments for and against so I can make as an informed decision as possible. To DomesticGrumpess's point, yes I would say I have issues with letting go and making a spectacle of myself - despite years of expensive therapy (paid for by yours truly, NOT the NHS!) I have a serious fear of public speaking and of flying and am generally an anxious stressed person but then I'm sure many people are and I don't know if you can ever really change - I've certainly tried. IIjkk, those figures weren't just for the UK but US as well and yes, I'm aware that c-sections make you fart!

gangle - if the problem is 'letting do' during giving birth, would you consider hiring a doula? a professional person to help support you through giving birth.

Gangle, sorry, I didn't see your reasons.
We'll talk about anything here, including sex after childbirth. And sorry if you feel bullied, I don't tihnk it's on to bully you but I do think you'll get robust debate on mn, which is fair enough. My comments against your reasons below, in caps not to shout but to pick them out:

lack of control over the process. SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE NOT IN CONTROL ONCE YOU HAVE CHILDREN AND YOU DO HAVE TO RELINQUISH A DEGREE OF CONTROL IN LABOUR. BUT PLENTY OF US HERE ARE CONTROL FREAKS AND MANAGED FINE WITH VAGINAL BIRTHS.

problems with getting stuck etc, SEE EARLIER STUFF ABOUT SAFETY OF VAGINAL BIRTH

lack of dignity when you're writhing around in agony screaming like an animal (as one friend described her labour) I HAD 2 CALM HOME BIRTHS. IN HOSPITAL WITH A SECTION I THINK YOU'LL HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE AROUND YOU. I ONLY HAD 2 MIDWIVES AND MY HUSBAND PRESENT AT HOME. AND MY MUM FIRST TIME

If there is a calm, quick, dignified process with no material increase in risk to the baby then why not? SEE OTHER COMMENTS AS TO WHY NOT!

Also, I've read stats saying up to 50% of women are left with some degree of incontinence from giving birth vaginally. WHERE? NO ISSUE HERE, OF COURSE SOME WOMEN HAVE ISSUES BUT C SECTION NOT WITOHUT RISKS EITHER AS ALREADY STATED

In addition (and this is an area noone wants to talk about) what about sexual function after giving birth vaginally? SEE BELOW.

My pelvic floor is fully intact after two vaginal births. The second baby was 9lb 8oz after a first baby who was 7lb. So a bit of a shock but perfectly fine and my pelvic floor is completely fine.

My sex life is great. Vaginal birth has made no difference whatsoever to it. And I met and married dh#2 after I'd had ds (with dh#1), then had dd, who was 9lb 8oz.

I think new parents sex lives are affected by absolutle exhaustion after a new baby And of course some people have issues due to childbirth. But plenty don't.

I mean 'letting go' not 'letting do'

i was offered a c section with ds1 as i had spd, however a close friend of mine had a c section and ended up in intensive care for two weeks when it went horribly wrong, she wasnt able to bfeed her baby and missed out on those amazing first few days

i know that this is VERY rare, but still it was enough to put me off. thats not to say i wasnt worried about childbirth, i was TERRIFIED.

ds1's labour was long and drawn out, it was painful and i did need stiches but i was back to normal within a fortnight, riding a bike to uni etc, i have since had two more vaginal births and each one has got easier and quicker, no stiches needed with the last one, despite baby being over 9lb.

if i needed a c section for medical reasons, ie it was safer for my baby i would do it, but otherwise i do not see the point in putting yourself through major abdominal surgery. i have many friends who have had c sections, they all say that even a year later their tummy still feels funny, even numb where there is scar tissue etc. and if you are worried about sex, i had sex within a week or two of the boys being born, very quickly with ds3. whereas i have friends who have had c sections who said it took them at least 8 wks as their c section scar was so uncomfortable.

and i agree with the previous poster who said (tmi) that sex and orgasms were better post children, mine definitely are

and as for incontinence, do your pelvis floor exercises when preg and you should be ok, you can buy special 'cones' to help you exercise them if you are worried, but i have had three large babies vaginally and have had no probs.

"writhing around in agony screaming like an animal" is NOT the lasting memory I have of the birth I was at in June. Rather, I recall a very dignified, calm serenity in a dimmed room and baby born into water, with placenta falling out a few mins later (you know who you are! ) The mother did roar like a lion during contractions, but then that's a natural sound which I recall I made and the low gutteral sounds are condusive to your body giving birth. Ina May Gaskin mentions these! If you read the birth stories in her books you'll realise that birth can be very calm and dignified.

You've got 33 wks or so to continue with your research and reading. I'm sure that in that time you will make the right choice for you. Don't be surprised if you change your mind many times! PG hormones are like that!

Gangle - I am (or was) the biggest control freak you could imagine, borderline OCD and a hygeine freak. In hindsight, I think pregnancy and childbirth is designed to make you let go of some of that in preparation for children who are complete anti-control freaks. It was trial by fire in the first year but I think I am happier and more realxed for it (most days!). I think you have less time to focus on your own issues and have to put your child first so in some ways having children is probably the best form of therapy.

If you want to see some of this in action - take a trip to your local children's soft play centre to see what you are in store for! (actually, don't, I think maybe it is better to remain blissfully ignorant about some things).

Gangle if you have a phobia directly related to vaginal birth that's the first decent reason (IMO) that you've given. I can relate to what you said I hate being the centre of attention, reluctance to do public speaking ruined my previous career (but that's another story).

Frankly, I've been thru VB 3x and it wasn't really "fun". For most women, there is no pleasant way to give birth, though.
And I personally have other, much bigger phobias that would make me dread a C-section more, about things like needles in my spine and being cut open and having the washing up done amongst my internal organs, in a room full of many strangers.

Anyway, if you are open-minded, then see if you can work thru the issues you've raised to see if they can be resolved. And keep researching so that you know whatever choice you go for it's made for the right reasons, and on the basis of accurate information.

Also there is the 0.7% chance of hysterectomy because of CS... a young neighbour went in for an elCS due to valid medical reasons and came out with a hysterectomy. She is gutted but so thankful for her wee baby, I see her a year on and she is still getting over the physical trauma and dealing with the emotional trauma.

As a VBACer I had to deal with the scare tactics of 0.35% uterine rupture but no-one seems to make as big a deal about the 0.7% risk of Hysterectomy after CS......

I can understand why women would chose a c-section, but I can't help but feel that if they know the real risks and realities of a c-section they probably wouldn't chose it.

I agree

I can't have any more kids because my first was born by section.

Gangle, I seriously think you should see a counsellor because it sounds like you have some serious issues regarding childbirth and trust me, a csection isn't going to magically make these all go away.

Writhing around screaming????

I'm the sort of person that will not dance in front of people, or sing or do anything really. I have a fear of 'showing myself up' Can still feel sick at the thought of falling over whilst roller skating age 14)

My births did NOT involve any writhing or screaming (i should be a scientologist, silent births are my thing) For 2 I didn't have any pain relief

I kept covered til the end (on my feet) My bits were only on show for the 20 mins of pushing and the occasional cervix check

Very dignified and no looking back with any embarrassment, not an ounce

The section, like I said, someone shaving, inserting/removing catheter, a room full of people for 10 mins with everything on show whilst being prepped, the being bedbathed (that was THE most horrible thing) peeing on a bedpan. No dignity whatsoever. I still cringe to this day

There was pain after, lots of it. 24 hours after and I was hobbling down to SCUBU and the midwife stopped me. I hadn't had enough painkillers and shouldn't be up and about. I have a high pain threshold

Birthing is harder now due to hospital over managenment but if you look into positive ways of doing a very natural thing, it is so much more preferable than major abdominal surgery

That 50% of women being incontinent stat is not right, eg., see this study of Norwegian women.

They found the risk was lower for women with C-section, the risk went from 21% to almost 16% -- but no sign of a 50% figure for anybody. Pregnancy is the basic risk factor being detected. Plus, even women who never have children have a 10% risk of urinary incontinence.

Pelvic Floor Exercises, anyone??

hello Gangle

I've had to C-sections - the first an emergency as my daughter caught a Strep B infection from me and the second, an elective because I was terrified DD2 would get the same thing.
The elective was a clinical procedure but I have some lovely memories of my newborn in recovery ( my first daugter was taken away immediately and given a bottle, something which hurts to this day ) I wasn't addled by pain relief drugs or exhausted by a long labour and it was a precious time. I healed very well and was in the park on my own with both kids a week later.
However I strongly believe that people should try the natural route first time as it seems to be a healthier experience all round.
by the way all that not bonding with your baby stuff after C-section is absolute crap so don't worry about that. ditto the chest infection stuff. expect breast feeding to be a bit more difficult (if you decide to do that) as the milk comes in a bit later. Ask for expert advice as many midwives are too busy etc to help you position correctly to help the milk come in and this can lead to certain amount of anxiety. Good luck and enjoy your baby

expat, again I agree with you.

My first 2 births were sections and I too feel that I had more dignity with my vbacs.
I never did any screaming and writhing either.
Gangle you really do have a very warped idea of natural childbirth. How sad that you should make such a monumental decision when your 'facts' are so skewed

Gangle, If you paid £35K in tax last year and live in the catchment area of QC why don't you just book in to the Portland have your elective and get to stay in a double bed and have a nice 3 course meal aswell???

Queen Charlottes is much the nicest NHS hospital around and has an excellent birthing centre so the chances of you having a good birth there are very good with plenty of medical back up if needed.

Also The Life Centre in Notting Hill does a lovely sunday morning birthlight yoga class which should give you confidence in your ability to give birth naturally, you can go there from 13 weeks if I remember correctly.

I have to say that in my opinion your reasons are a bit naive and you have obviously heard a few scare stories and I do think it is good that you have posted so that people can share their experiences with you.

I'm the one that had the v. birth that was PAIN FREE btw, I have had worst hangovers, it was very dignified, I walked out of the labour suite, I had a tear but it healed well, I think my vagina is better than before, and am continent.

What was awful was staying in hospital due to baby having problems and not sleeping at all for 8 days as hospitals are very noisy places, mums and their babies came and went, the ward was not that clean, the food was awful, I couldn't hear my baby cry for all the other crying babies, and I heard one women scream when they pulled her ceasarian drain out.

So think on if you actually want to stay for a couple of days on a ward in a busy london hospital which you would have to do if you opt for a ceasarian.

When LO was breech a couple of weeks ago, I was quite shocked by the number of people who said 'Oooh hopefully she'll stay like it and you can have a CS' - I think the recovery time afterwards would be horrendous. Obviously if I was told that a CS is necessary I would have one, but I'd rather be going home after 6 hours than 6 days, and last time I was checked, baby had turned up the right way anyway.

I think it would be ridiculous for the NHS to let anyone who just 'wants' a CS have one. I know VB is not always easy or pleasant usually but I can't understand why anyone would rather have surgery.

I didn't feel remotely in control of my section. You don't when you're on an operating table I find.

In answer to your original question, I suppose 'everyone is anti elective c-section' (in the sense of c-section for no medical reason) because:

• it's not the best option for the baby
• it's more expensive and so stretching NHS resources unnecessarily
• it's not the best option for you in terms of the trauma it puts your body through.

Has the OP actually said that she is doing this on the NHS? QC does have private packages and a private ward....

Well she said 'Last year alone I paid almost £35,000 in tax so yes, I do feel justified in asking the NHS to pay for it.'

So I'd say that's a yes.

ah ok. BTW - thanks to some of the ladies on here who posted more reassuring words earlier.