C-section 19th Dec, Christmas Day guests?

[RedPandaFluff]

Hi everyone, I have an elective c-section booked in for 19th December (first baby). DH is very keen to celebrate Christmas by having his family (MIL, PIL, and his two siblings) over on Christmas Day for dinner.

DH would do all the cooking and arranging and I know he'd work very hard to make sure I have to do as little as possible beyond looking after our new arrival, but I'm still uneasy about it. I don't know how much pain I'll be in and therefore how keen I am to be around people, I don't know how breastfeeding is going to go, and I also think if we're having people over I'll end up trying to cover DH's blind spots (trying to make the table look nice etc.)

What do you reckon - ask DH if we can just spend the day together ourselves as a new little family, or try to do as he hopes and have his family over? They live an hour and a half away if that makes any difference (probably not). My family live in a different part of the UK so we won't see them until January.

There's no pressure from DH - if I say I really don't think it's a good idea, he'll be fine about it, I just know he would love to have them over and if it's realistic then I'd like it to happen!

You will also be super hormonal. Being on the wards even for one or two nights is exhausting . You won't get this time back . People should understand and if they don't then that's their issue not yours . You and the baby's wellbeing is most important here.

I had an emergency c section with mt 1st and actually felt ok a few days later. I had an elective 3 months ago and honestly I was in so much pain for a couple of weeks and even just having guests for a few hours really exhausted me. I just wanted to be left alone to recover. I would 100% not be doing Christmas. I am bottle feeding as well I imagine it would be even harder if i was breast feeding!

You just can’t tell how you will feel and therefore I wouldn’t put yourself under any unnecessary pressure. Think your DH should be focusing on you and your new baby.

You may feel fine for this.
We had friends round for dinner within the week, and I was well enough to help as well as enjoy the company. With precautionary painkillers I was pain free, feeding was fine and my lochia was down to just needing a couple of partners a day, so it was nice to have friends over and a nice meal etc.

But I know some people wouldn't have felt well enough, and it's harder to cancel something like Christmas dinner. I'd probably go for it personally but that's on the basis of me having two sections and knowing how my body seems to react to them.

No

No, at this point baby will likely be ramping up their feeding, I was so sleep deprived and in pain from levering myself to get them out of the cot umpteen times a night. Your DH will also be sleep deprived.

Unless they plan to arrive with the dinner, all the trimmings, pudding ready cooked, serve and clear up afterwards and also prepared for you to spend most of the day in the bedroom in bed with your boobs out then don't do it.

I had ds by emcs & didnt come home until he was 4 days old, I didnt BF but was in now way capable for hosting a meal & having visitors for the whole day. Just inlaws & their family visit for 2 hours left me feeling like I could commit murder if I had the energy. If you have any sense, buy everything from M & S, put the do not disturb sign on the door, let your husband do the cooking & washing up, spend the day in your pjs & after dinner escape upstairs to relax, feed & if you have the energy watch some Christmas television, take drinks & snacks with you. The only comforting thought is that there will be lots of delicious snacks for you, get your online shopping list sorted before your CS date.

Sorry haven't read the whole thread, but NO NO NO, don't do this.

You need DH to be fully present for you and your baby and not fancying around cooking a Christmas Dinner for his family. It would be completely unreasonable of them to expect this from him too, and if they were to accept an ill-advised invitation from him, that would say a lot about them too!

Suggest you do what my sister has done on a number of Christmases - get your favourite takeaway and freeze it for Christmas Day - get it out the evening before, DH can zap it in the microwave - job's a good 'un.

You really can't have any idea how you will be and that in itself is a good enough reason to say no to this plan. We all recover at different places.p

The newborn stage is often exhausting and hard work as you try to adapt to being first time parents.

I think that being just 6 days post caesarean is very overoptimistic for hosting Christmas Dinner, so I would duck out this year and spend the day just the 3 of you, with you and DH getting to know your new baby.

My DD was 12 days old her first Christmas. My parents came to stay for 2 nights but I was bottle feeding by then. I had stitches but was healing well. Mum did everything for the dinner, everyone helped all the time really. Baby slept in the bouncy chair while we ate dinner. She was a very easy baby. I was still in a haze as obviously she was feeding every 3 hours at night but it was the easiest it could have been.

I wouldn't have had anyone in the house except my parents and 2 nights was enough. Only you will know if you want to do this but 6 days after a c section you'll probably feel pretty rough tbh.

Don't do it. You have no idea what's coming your way and you do not need an audience for it! At that stage after my c-section, I was exhausted and trying to sleep as much as I could and when awake, had my boobs out all the time as the baby wanted to feed constantly. The house was a mess and so were we. Take it easy- plenty more Christmases/events for you to make an extended family thing of it.