I think my midwife missed tears ending in me losing a pint of blood during sex!

[Jessclarkky]

Hi everyone. I gave birth a month ago to a beautiful girl! I didn’t have pain relief even though it was a horrendously long and traumatic birth, despite this I came out with ‘no tears’. However, recently me and my partner decided to have sex resulting in a tearing feeling up towards my clitorus so we stopped and saw I had bleeding. I thought the pain was probably normal as it had only been a couple weeks since birth, so we tried again. This time I at least bled a pint (it looked like a murder) and my partner began to panic. I became drowsy and dizzy so just went to bed (after cleaning up said crime scene) and waited to tell my health visitor. She was horrified with my story and said I should have gone to A&E at the time. My boyfriend believes our midwife missed some tears and having sex opened them up further. Does anyone have a similar story or have any advice?

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/sex-contraception-after-birth/]]

First line clarifies that there are no "rules" on when you can start having sex. However you did not bleed because your midwife missed a tear

My goodness OP, a pint of blood, you felt drowsy and dizzy and you didn't go to A&E?

Why not?

OP you lost a "pint"of blood, felt something tear, felt drowzy and dizzy and decided not to seek medical help.
Perhaps you were in such a bad way that you were not thinking straight, but what about your boyfriend?
I knw my partner in such a situation would be beyond worried and would have called a doctor or possibly even 999 because of the huge amount of blood.
In fact any normal person would have called for medical help seeing someone else feel unwell and losing so much blood, most of us would do that for a stranger in the street- no matter what the injury.

Why did neither of you seek immediate medical help? You may have not been thinking straight, but what is your boyfriend's excuse for such neglect?

Having sex when you feel ready to is fine.

However that does place onus on you, as an autonomous adult, to seek appropriate medical care if you have concerns. If you actually felt like you tore and lost a whole pint of blood, you should have gone to A&E immediately. It sounds like you probably have some grazes which are making it sore and the blood was lochia which came away during sex. If i’m wrong however, you could be sitting on a massive infection risk so it really needs to be actually looked at.

When did all this happen, and have you yet seen a doctor?

you don't need stories of this happening to other people

You need medical attention.

Sorry, but I don’t believe the pp who said that healing was complete 3 weeks after a forceps with episiotomy. The cut goes through several layers of muscle and honestly it was 3+ months, closer to 6 for me to fully heal from that. I can see 3-4 weeks after a straightforward delivery with 1st or 2nd degree tear, but honestly why rush these things? The first few months are just being a milk machine anyway, I couldn’t really face any other additional demands on my body at that stage.

I don’t think there is a magic thing that happens at 6 weeks, and they certainly don’t check, the 6 week checkup is really quite pointless in some respects, particularly physical health. But it’s still a nice sensible window to wait following trauma to the pelvic region...