Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

I think my midwife missed tears ending in me losing a pint of blood during sex!

56 replies

Jessclarkky · 05/04/2019 20:00

Hi everyone. I gave birth a month ago to a beautiful girl! I didn’t have pain relief even though it was a horrendously long and traumatic birth, despite this I came out with ‘no tears’. However, recently me and my partner decided to have sex resulting in a tearing feeling up towards my clitorus so we stopped and saw I had bleeding. I thought the pain was probably normal as it had only been a couple weeks since birth, so we tried again. This time I at least bled a pint (it looked like a murder) and my partner began to panic. I became drowsy and dizzy so just went to bed (after cleaning up said crime scene) and waited to tell my health visitor. She was horrified with my story and said I should have gone to A&E at the time. My boyfriend believes our midwife missed some tears and having sex opened them up further. Does anyone have a similar story or have any advice?

OP posts:
Hotpinkangel19 · 05/04/2019 20:02

Why on earth didn't you get seen when it happened?

greathat · 05/04/2019 20:02

Well has someone checked now?

Wenttoseainasieve · 05/04/2019 20:06

Recently? How recently? Surely you haven't just left it?...

Bittern11 · 05/04/2019 20:07

Advice? Get medical attention. Why didn’t you go at the time?

Is your bf a medical professional?

Redcrayons · 05/04/2019 20:08

A pint of blood? Course you should have gone to a&e.

pisspawpatrol · 05/04/2019 20:08

Why on earth didn't you go to a&e?! If you'd cut your hand and bled that much wouldn't you have gone to get it stitched?

I hope someone has checked you over. I'm also surprised you continued to have sex so soon after birth and after having pain and tearing during sex! Were you coerced by your partner?

greathat · 05/04/2019 20:10

Yes it sounds unlikely you would have been enjoying the experience enough to give it a second try...

SparklySneakers · 05/04/2019 20:14

Sex 2 weeks after birth?? My lochia didn't stop for 6 weeks. No way I'd have had sex that soon.
So many questions to your OP Confused
I hope if this is true that you've got yourself checked out.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 05/04/2019 20:14

A pint of blood,how do you know it was a pint? Confused why on earth didn't you go to A and E?

LS83 · 05/04/2019 20:19

Why does your boyfriend think that? The midwife would have checked and documented any damage. Not all tears are sutured, especially if they are close to your clitoris as they can heal better by second intention. If your boyfriend is so sure this is your midwife's fault, you should have gone to a and e when you felt faint and lost half a litre of blood and someone could have checked.

BloominSloe · 05/04/2019 20:21

Even if your midwife missed tears (she probably didn't. Where did your bf get his medical degree from) you didn't bleed because she missed anything. You bled because, although you were in pain and bleeding, you continued to have sex far too soon after pushing another human out of your body!!!

breadzeb · 05/04/2019 20:22

You didn't lose a pint of blood.

Why did your HV not recommend a medical examination Confused

JaniceBattersby · 05/04/2019 20:22

WTF? You had sex two weeks after a baby and after tearing. Then you felt dizzy and faint after a huge bleed and your BF let you clear up the blood? Then you didn’t seek help?

Genuinely OP, is there an issue with your BF?

CaptainBrickbeard · 05/04/2019 20:23

You tried again even though you were in pain. You were the one to clean up the blood despite being drowsy and dizzy. You didn’t seek medical attention. There is so much in those statements that is worrying, extremely worrying. Are you ok? There are some real red flags about your relationship in your post.

karala · 05/04/2019 20:24

it would be unlikely to be a pint - blood looks like a lot and splatters well

Horehound · 05/04/2019 20:25

Blood always looks more than it is. But that said I find what you've said about feeling dizzy and then just going to bed to be completely idiotic. Who does that?! And why have sex so soon?

DameSylvieKrin · 05/04/2019 20:26

You’re supposed to wait 6 weeks.

swapsicles · 05/04/2019 20:27

So you lost a pint of blood and instead of going to a and e cleared it up and went to bed?
If you haven't already you need medical attention, also why did your boyfriend even attempt sex again and then allow you to clear up instead of making sure you were OK?

breadzeb · 05/04/2019 20:28

You’re supposed to wait 6 weeks.

Are you?

museumum · 05/04/2019 20:28

At one month post partum there may not be any tear or injury, it could easily just be blood from your womb including where the placenta cane away. I know I was still bleeding at that point. I didn’t have sex for about three months.

Littlebird88 · 05/04/2019 20:35

it would have to be pretty deep tears to bleed as much and you would be able to see them.
it sounds likely you had a " pool " of blood in your uterus which sex made your uterus contract and release.
I had this happen ( no sex) but it just all released at once.

ChristmasArmadillo · 05/04/2019 20:45

Highly unlikely to have been a pint - for reference, the average menstrual period is 6-8 teaspoons. Blood just looks like a lot.

They say 6 weeks for a reason. You’ve an open gaping wound in your uterus. Your boyfriend doesn’t sound great tbh.

Ginnymweasley · 05/04/2019 20:50

Why didn't you seek medical attention at the time? And why didn't your boyfriend clean the blood up?
It is unlikely it was from a tear and more likely blood left from the birth. Your boyfriend isn't sounding great tbh.

Original poster
Jessclarkky · 06/04/2019 15:04

First of all, people saying ‘you’re supposed to wait 6 weeks’ truly know nothing. You should be having sex when you feel ready and I did as I had no tearing and the Lochia has stopped. For those of you slating my partner- don’t. He obviously helped me clean up but I would not leave it all down to him. Regarding the bleeding, yes at the time I should have gone to A&E and was stupid not to and no I haven’t seen anyone yet but have an appointment. If myself or health professionals aren’t panicking then neither should any of you. I’m shocked at the responses.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 06/04/2019 15:06

You should have waited for your 6 week check up. Sorry it happened but you took a risk having sex so early.