How do women seem to just pop babies out???

[Alicia870]

My labour was a marathon- back to back 50 hours. Ended with ventouse and an episiotomy which ended up with infected stitches. It was a hellish recovery. I felt as though I'd been through a plane wreck - everything ached and down there... omg! Ouchhhhhh for weeks and weeks. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I couldn't lie down without being in agony. I needed stronger pain meds than paracetamol to get me through the day. I couldn't walk properly for weeks. It felt like I was carrying around 5kg in my pelvis!
Honestly- it was a rough recovery. But is that normal! How do other people seem to be sitting with hair and makeup done on day 3 and walking around town and dressed in jeans a few days later?' I don't actually get it? I've only had one baby so far- did I have a particularly rough time or do other women just pretend and then go and cry in the toilet?! Don't get it!

I meant to add that I've been wondering this as people go on so much about he labour and how hard it is. It is hard but honestly my labour was a piece of cake compared to my recovery- and that was baby back to back with no epidural. The recovery is 100% the thing I worry about mire if having another baby rather than labour

Some people are lucky and have an easy recovery.
Others are massively insecure about appearing well, dose themselves up on painkillers and force themselves into jeans.
The second third baby is often a bit easier...
Only you know how you feel. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy

It's all normal!
And it really doesn't matter.
It sounds like you had a pretty rough time and even if you 'pop one out' it's still not always an amazing experience.
I think women feel under pressure to get back into the swing of things and for some that's great and for others not so much.
But there is absolutely no point in trying to compare your experience with anyone elses because you'll never ever have the full picture.
Be happy that you got out alive.

I think, like a lot of things, it's luck and genes. I've had two babies (10lb and 9lb) waterbirths, no drugs, no tears/stitches and been able to pretty much get back to normal the day after. I didn't do anything special, I was just very lucky with both of them. Either that or I have a bucket fanny. However there's plenty of other areas in life that people seem to sail through that I find hard to navigate, so the lord gives with one hand and takes with the other

Had a similar sounding labour, but was in virtually no pain afterwards and didn't need paracetamol. I'm struggling with just about every other aspect of new parenthood though! I'm sure we are both normal.

I had a long labour with my first, a really quick one with my second. No complications, fast recovery, home the next day with the first, home the same day with the second and out and about the day after. I appreciate how lucky I was. I also think it was down to excellent care from my midwife's and everyone else involved but then, I know a lot of people who have had their babies in the same hospital and had dreadful experiences. I did have 24/7 sickness throughout the whole pregnancies, up being sick during the night etc. Pregnancy itself does not agree with me.

Luck.

I've had 4. My longest was 7 hours. Shortest was 1.5 hours. All text book. Homebirths. No pain relief. But it was nothing to do my my ability or anything it was pure luck.

My sister had a back to back labour and I would have cracked in minutes if I went through that. She was like a damn soldier.

My penance is that I'm not incredibly fat and have a completely stretch marked body 😂

I'm now*

Oh and I needed a lot of stitches both times but never had any trouble with them luckily.

I couldn't even have tried to force myself to get into jeans and pop down the town for a gander- even existing was just so painful!!
Now several months on, I have worked really really hard to regain my fitness and I'm no weakling (I don't think)- but I just felt like I was recovering from a massive car accident or huge surgery at the time- even though it wasn't.
I felt like people assumed that because I didn't end up with a section I was lucky to be able to get a 'quicker recovery' which is so not the case. I obviously haven't had a section but I can't imagine how it could be much more painful. It was torture!

What about he heaviness? Was that normal?? It literally felt like my insides were gonna fall out until about 8 weeks after birth!

Luck of the draw I'm afraid. My DM had horrendous labours, we both nearly died when she had me and the doctor butchered her insides to the extent that she deals with the after effects nearly 40 years later.

I was quite nervous having DC of my own, I must admit! But my labours and deliveries were much, much more straightforward. Nothing like her experience, so I can't point to genes for that one. I am a fair bit taller than her but we have the same body shape and tendency to be overweight. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

I'm sorry you struggled so much, but it's nothing you did or didn't do. It really is random.

But having a child is like having surgery or being in a car crash.
It's a major life changing event. Physically and psychologically.

I was not in great shape at all. I remember pushing the pram at six weeks and feeling like I’d been kicked up the chuff. I don’t know how women bounce back but they seem to. I’m happy for them, but I was in the ‘nine months to grow a baby, nine months to recover’ camp, without a doubt.

Sounds super unfair lol 😂 so scared about having another one for this reason. I blamed the long labour and botched stitches but who knows.

I just felt like I was recovering from a massive car accident or huge surgery at the time- even though it wasn't

Can I just say, give yourself some credit! 50 HOURS of labour! Another human being pulled out of your nether regions with an instrument, requiring a cut which subsequently got infected, and recovering from all that while being expected to look after aforementioned helpless human 24/7 with no break before the job began? Car wreck is an apt description, imo. That's not easy by any stretch of the imagination.

Not to mention the crash of hormones that occurs after birth, the lack of sleep, the pain, aches, leaking everywhere constantly, the sheer terror of being in charge of keeping a baby alive (!!), I could go on.

It's a lot, even without severe injuries and complications which I would say you've experienced.

And the heavy feeling imo was probably your pelvic floor being knackered after the ventouse and epesiotomy. I hope your have healed up by now op, bit it might be worth seeing a private physio who specialises in women's health, if you need to.

My first was exactly like yours could not go out for weeks due to the recovery of it all had an awful time! Second baby I was out the next day like nothing had happened. Not out out just out. Third was slightly worse than baby no2 recovery but was still ok. Mad how things work

Thank you @CallMeWoman I appreciate that! Several months in now and I'm doing good- on the outside I'm sure people would think what I'm saying we I'm back to high impact exercise, hiit training 34-5 times a week, back in size 8 jeans. Th reason I'm saying this is because looks can be so deceiving., I have worked really hard to get back to this but cutting calories and exercising has been a awk in the park compared to those first few months post delivery.
but I do feel like the mental scars of the trauma I went through won't just go away. Might sound dramatic- but can't help but dwell on it as it was truly the hardest thing I've ever done!

My first labour was horrendous... induced, oxytocin drip, waters popped, epidural, episiotomy, forceps, blood transfusion .... felt like I'd been turned inside out, so I feel your pain. My recovery took a long time but I hid it and pretended I was okay when I wasn't really.

Second labour couldn't have been more different - began naturally, waterbirth, little bit of gas & air, two hours done and dusted! Dropped DS off at nursery at 7.30, went straight to hospital and had DD at 9.30 and was home by 2pm to make tea.

It amazes me that they were so different. Both weighed exactly the same so can't even put it down to that. I was significantly more chilled out second time round which probably helped.

I was lucky as I had a 7 hour labour for first DC and 3 hours for 2nd, he really did come out in 3 pushes.....but I felt overwhelmed and had PND with 2nd baby. I was up and about after a few days (I forced myself to go out everyday as staying in with toddler and baby was too mentally exhausting) DH is self employed and only took 3 days off work.

I understand the feeling of being traumatised. Give it time, don't feel like you need.to be back to normal asap. You e been through a seriously life changing event in many ways.

I had an ELCS and was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans in 2 weeks (possibly sooner but I didn’t try due to the scar) which I put purely down to luck, genetics and an average sized baby. It was uncomfortable and definitely sore for the first few days and if I moved the wrong way I knew about it for a few weeks but at no point did I ever feel in pain although I did keep ahead of it with medication. I’m sorry you had such a tough time, I think you were really unlucky and there’s no reason to it. Also, I may have had a speedy recovery but pregnancy was utter hell between HG and regular fainting spells. We’re all different and our bodies don’t react the same to pregnancy and birth.

Luck. I have fairly big babies (8-9Ibs) and precipitous births. Quickest was less than an hour in total from the very first contraction. No pain relief and I found the gas did nothing (I think it wasn't working or set very low :/)

For me I suspect it comes down to hormones and my bodies sensitivity to them. Obviously I must also not have any physical issues that would obstruct or cause difficulties. I also have a high pain threshold and suspect I didn't feel any early contractions. I have never felt period pains or ovulation pains or after birth pains for example.

I think it is one of those things that you have to let go and not over think. People are all very different inside their bodies, just we all look different externally!

I had awful recoveries for both of mine, I’d look in wonder at new mothers wearing jeans a month after. But like another poster said, some bits can come more easily than others, I was still having problems for a few months after delivery but found breastfeeding ridiculously easy.

My first birth was similar to yours, second popped out in an hour at 5am and I was looking glamorous by 3pm just like Kate Middleton, I like to think, even though I was only going to Sainsbury's