How do women seem to just pop babies out???

[Alicia870]

My labour was a marathon- back to back 50 hours. Ended with ventouse and an episiotomy which ended up with infected stitches. It was a hellish recovery. I felt as though I'd been through a plane wreck - everything ached and down there... omg! Ouchhhhhh for weeks and weeks. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I couldn't lie down without being in agony. I needed stronger pain meds than paracetamol to get me through the day. I couldn't walk properly for weeks. It felt like I was carrying around 5kg in my pelvis!
Honestly- it was a rough recovery. But is that normal! How do other people seem to be sitting with hair and makeup done on day 3 and walking around town and dressed in jeans a few days later?' I don't actually get it? I've only had one baby so far- did I have a particularly rough time or do other women just pretend and then go and cry in the toilet?! Don't get it!

I had really easy recoveries with my 3 vaginal births but my c-sections were horrendous, both during and for a long time afterwards. It's mostly down to luck I think.

Ive just gone through some of my friends births, and I think I count 14 where there was a fairly difficult delivery/recovery first time round. As in assisted delivery, extensive tearing, emcs, blood transfusions, surgery to repair, cardiac arrest.

About 4 had some injuries/recoveries but nothing horrific.

2 escaped without being stitched back together.

As for me, I had an ELCS, and found recovery fine, was out shopping in a few days etc. But I had an awful pregnancy, and feel like it all balances out in the end. Some people struggle to get/stay pregnant, some with pregnancy, some with birth, and some with a baby.I guess I evens out in the end in a lot of cases, or at least thats what I tell myself. I had my months of pain - just before rather than after birth.
I think also a lot of people dont like to talk about difficulties after childbirth because broken and sore genitalia or incontinence never seems like a 'polite' topic of conversation, wheras stitches in a tummy dont seem quite so private. So I think people talk about recovery more from a section, wheras recovery from a vaginal birth is often seen as a private pain. Quite sad really :-(

I had an easy, intervention free labour and birth and didn’t need pain relief. No stitches worth mentioning really (okay- 2 for a “labial graze”)

I did however, feel like my insides were falling out for a good month after and was in significant amounts of pain/ had quite bad urinary incontinence for about the same amount of time.

Luck of the draw I think - and possibly, in my case, a fairly intense second stage (about an hour of strenuous pushing- they were concerned about my BP and I was determined to get him out before they intervened ).

I think the car wreck comparison is sound after 50hours of agony, ripped up by instruments and subsequent infections, give yourself a break!

Csec's can be the easy route out, mine was, found it all a breeze tbh. Pergectly manageable pain and straightforward speedy recovery. On my ward i saw some women walk out happy as clams hours after Vbirth while i was still flat on my back, but then others who looked like they just got back from a battlefield. Luck of the draw!

With my first I also felt like i'd been hit by a busincredibly painful stitches/awful pelvic 'tugging'/cramps/bleeding & cracked nipples etc etc... i couldn't understand how people could dress/shower/leave the house EVERand physical recovery took months and months... still did it again twice - but second/third births AND recoveries were easy-peasy compared to the first

Luck.
My first I had an episiotomy and stitches, but was hill walking after 7 days, pretty much pain free.
My second pretty much popped out, no stitches or tears, walking around straight away, doing everything I was before.
My third I didn’t have a bad labour but had horrendous SPD and took about 3 months before I could walk any distances.

I was very lucky with my labours and recovery though.

Can relate to so much on here.

First labour was dreadful, terrible recovery, infected stitches too etc.

I just had another baby 7 weeks ago by planned section and it was an absolute breeze in comparison. I could get up and shower. I could walk around. I only really went for appointments in the early days but I could walk around and felt like putting my make up on.

It's amazing how different they were xx

I ended up with an emergency section this time around. The recovery is horrible but getting my hair and makeup done made me feel a bit more put together and more like me.

It's all the luck of the draw!

I had DD2 on Tuesday, she was 14 days late, back to back, labour was short (ish) bit I just could not push her out by myself. The result being ventouse with no pain meds as no time and a second degree tear with 5 stitches. Oh and horrendous piles! I'm managing okay with paracetamol for the pain and feel slightly less beat up than I did,

DD1 was a breeze in comparison - longer labour but much better delivery and only slight tear!

I can safely say there will be NO MORE DC coming out of me!!

My labours have been quick but it's nothing to do with anything I've done.

I think it's pure luck!

Out of our NCT group, three of us had very rough births / complications. One woman had a fine birth, but a terrible post partum haemorrhage 4 days later that put her back in hospital. And the other four had births that were just fine, with no complications.

We were all up and about afterwards, but took different times to properly recover. Two are now due again soon (16 months on). One has had a miscarriage since. It's all just random.

Just luck of the draw. Ds had to be dragged out of me (epi, forceps & infection so not too different to your experience) and I was in pain for many, many weeks after. Ds2 was a breeze and apart from v heavy bleeding I still felt amazing and was up out and about very quickly afterwards.

OP, your birth sounds badly managed, 50 g
Hours! With no pain relief! Are they crazy?!

So sorry you went through that

I felt I had been hit by a bus and my insides would fall out....

Some people are luckier

And if you wear size 8 jeans a week after... what about the massive pads?!

Nobody told me I'd have a one month long "period" after birth....

@Babygrey7 they did offer epidural but I declined - something to do with wanting to prove I could do it without. Silly silly girl!! I did have remifentanil which made me throw up for hours on end. It was literally like 'push!'...vom... 'push... vom. I do think my aftercare was awful though as I was discharged 24 hours later and I could hardly walk- I was black and blue and so swollen right down my whole leg on the episiotomy side. It was just really really grim.

I was the opposite of you OP - really rough, long labour (best part of a week, I kid you not) with a ventouse but felt really well, really quickly afterwards and recovery was more just exhaustion for me.

I had a 2 hr labour and was out in my jeans the next day BUT I still felt like my insides were going to fall out! It's not a nice sensation is it.

Babygrey7, again that's luck of the draw. By a week afterwards i was on regular pantyliners, and then nothing by 2 weeks. Couldn't fit into size 8 jeans though but that's because I like cake too much

Also I had an episiotomy which hurt like fuck.

@whitehalleve - same here and couldn't agree more x

@whitehalleve yea the insides falling out and heavy dragging feeling was awful. I had that along with severe searing pain from the episiotomy and extensive bruising. It seems so unfair that it's just luck of the draw and there's nothing you can do about it. I would love to be able to do anything in my power to avoid this type of recovery in future but don't think I can!

I've been so scared of labour since I got pregnant last August I've opted to have a csec and past day or two I've been thinking maybe I should just give vaginal delivery a go at least I won't be stuck for 6 weeks can't be that bad... Thank you for sharing your journey am delivering in 3 weeks and absolutely feel scared. Part of me wants this over and done with and the chicken side of me wants Bernard's watch to stop time.

@Littleraindrop15 don't be scared - as everyone said people's experiences are so different. For what it's worth I will definitely request a planned cs next time- you won't be exhausted after going through labour and you'll be able to go to the toilet and sit down without being in agony!

Luck of the draw I think. My sisters had short labours and birthed big babies without pain relief. One didn't manage to get her trousers off fully and the other gave birth on way to the hospital. I have long, long drawn out labours, had average sized babies and as much pain relief as they could throw at me. BUT I left hospital in pre pregnancy jeans and had babies that worked like clockwork and was back to normal within the first days of having a baby each time where my sisters had more demanding babies and needed time to recover. We joke that they got the easy before and I got the easy after and we all know who got the better deal.

Some women are lucky.
But some who are up and about looking good are just grinning and bearing it and masking how awful it is.