What's it like to give birth for the second time?

[hugelypregnant]

I'm absolutely petrified.

I'm due in 4 weeks. Up until now I was feeling really positive and ready and now I've started to feel the stinging down below of her head pushing down and I'm starting to get a few pains... I'm scared.

First birth was in December 2016. It was a good birth apart from poor care in hospital, I did it without any pain relief, 16 hour labour and 30 mins pushing. My daughter flew out in a gush of water after her head came out.
No rips,tears anything and I recovered very quickly. I was 22.

I'm almost 25 now. I've chosen a home birth this time due to the poor care I received in hospital last time and this time I have a lovely midwife who's very attentive and will be at my birth (also have a lovely back up midwife Just incase)
I'm also very much at home in my home, I feel very uncomfortable even stepping into hospital.

Are second births REALLY quicker? Do they follow a general pattern of your first birth?

I'm a very organised person (overly) and I absolutely hate not knowing when or how or what will ultimately happen. I keep thinking because I was lucky last time I'm going to have it bad this time.

Are second births generally better?

I didn’t have any tears with either, so they were alike in that respect. The labour itself in total wasn’t much quicker the second time but the pushing stage was 90 secs as apposed to around 45 mins. I was 28/30 if age makes a difference.

I don't know about the general rule but my second was easier than my first. Both were fast but I recognised the signs earlier with my second so had more warming. I felt more in control too as I knew what to expect, when to push etc. I was less scared as I knew I made it through the first time so would manage again. Both my births were relatively straightforward so I'm sure this won't be the same for all.

Well partly a little more scary...because I KNEW what was going to happen

But actually LESS traumatic in real life, because I was a bit more relaxed, a bit more...ummm....flexible, and it was so much quicker!
They chucked me out less than 12 hours after the birth as well, which sort of said ‘that’s it, you’re ok now...so I was

Good luck x

My first was a long, painful experience,( induction, epidural, back to back, 18hours), so I was dreading my second.

But it was completely different. Crampy all day but nothing major, waters suddenly broke at bedtime then contractions started. DD born just under 2 hours later and no pain relief needed.

First labour was 6 hours total - no problems but painful, tears and grazes, had pethidine so had to stay lying down. Second was 3 hours total, water birth, no pain relief, some stitches required. Very very lucky both times but second was notably easier than first. Good luck, you'll be fine.

I actually found the second more painful than I remember the first being, but that was perhaps because my contractions started much stronger and didn't build up as they had with my first. It was about half the time (12 hours with first, 6 with second) and far less time pushing, so I think you are wise to plan a home birth!!
My body also knew what it was doing when it came to pushing, so you'll probably be super quick there!!
Good luck x

Quick.
Well mine was. Less than 12 hours first time.
Less than an hour the second.
I wanted a home birth with my second but bleeding landed me in hospital.

My first birth was at 36 weeks, precipitous(under 2 hours), no pain relief or cuts or tears. Quick recovery too. Second birth 12 months later was 38+3 weeks, and seem to follow similar pattern. Contractions similar but waters never broke. Arrived in hospital but contractions tailed off, they did this twice. Had a great midwife and student and I suggested breaking my waters, they did and baby born minutes later with a push. No pain relief, tearing etc. It did go a bit wrong after though. But the birth was more relaxed and I felt more confident. The best bit was the student midwife, it was her first ever birth!

My second was easier than my first but then my third was even more painful, there aren’t any rules of patterns I think.

Thank you ladies!

Can I also ask did you have your second baby earlier than your first? My daughter was 7 days over when I gave birth but they said she might have actually been more than that because the placenta looked very old.

This time round I'm constantly rushed off my feet with my toddler and house work (on maternity leave now and have dropped childcare) and I'm a lot more tired than last time round.

Will all this 'activity' make the baby come quicker? First time round once I finished work I was very bored and still until I gave birth.

My second baby pretty much dropped out, only a few minutes of pushing and less than two hours between waking up and giving birth

11 hours first, 2 hours second. Good luck.

Very quick and easy out in 3 pushes, no tears fet better the next day than I had in weeks.

First time was 2 hours of pushing, massive tear and lots of stitches. Oh and sepsis that was fun

Ooh it automatically links to sepsis info fabulous

My son , 2nd child,was a week overdue..

Both mine were quick and the second was pretty much the same time as the first but it was easier, baby came over a week earlier so was a lb smaller but I think it was mostly easier because I knew what to expect.

Wow lots of very quick second births

I hope my husband is home when my waters go, he works an hour away. They went in bed last time and trickled slowly the whole labour until I gave birth.

I'm hoping not to go over this time, I feel so large and uncomfortable.

Despite a back to back labour my 2nd lasted 4,5 hours and was so much easier than my 1st. I was scared as PP has mentioned because I thought I knew what was coming but it was so much easier and a lot quicker. good luck OP!

Both my children were born at 39+4. That’s apparently just how long my pregnancies last!

Overdue with both, but 3 days less with 2nd!

My second birth was a home birth. It felt longer as I was more relaxed. Tbh I loved it so much I had my 3rd at home too.

Obviously still painful but far more manageable because I didn't have to worry about getting to hospital and I could basically do what I liked. I had to have stitches second time as she had her hand by her face the ratbag!!

The worst part was stitches because you have to accept that you will not be in optimum position for stitches as no hospital bed so all a bit more awkward!

Best cup of tea afterwards though!

With my 3rd there was a lot of meconium so I transferred to hospital after birth but in an ambulance and a private room because it was a home birth so all in all less stressful!

My biggest stress was on my third when the midwife came over then went off for lunch to let me progress but I knew she had the gas and air and I was freaking out lol. By the time she cane back I really needed it!!

All births are totally different I don’t know anyone who has had multiple kids who have said they’ve been the same. I think your just a bit wiser to dr and midwife bullshit other than that...it’s hard to predict. I was induced for both. With DS 11 I had epidural and was in labour for 9 hours. I wasn’t allowed to eat for 11 hours, shitty london hospital for ya. Dd was born elsewhere, was in labour 2 hours with just gas and air. Both I had tears, the going to the wee with stitches is bloody worse than the birth 🤢

SO much easier. I cut the 35 hours from the first time down to an hour and a half. I kind of think the damage has been done the first time and it's paved the way for the second.

My second was a lot longer than the first but also a lot easier.

I was 8 days overdue with DC1 and 9 days with DC 2! My waters also broke very differently in both labours, trickled out with DC1 over about 6 hours but didn't go until I was pushing with DC2!