Active discussions

Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

First thoughts after childbirth?

95 replies

PRoseLegend · 10/02/2019 13:18

I'm curious about what went through people's minds when they gave birth/had a c-section, particularly with your first children.

For me, I remember being in excruciating pain as the baby's head came out, the midwife said "one more push", and the shoulders came out, and they said "You have a son!", popped him on my chest, and I looked into his eyes (wide open) and instantly the pain of birth was forgotten, I was just amazed at finally meeting this little creature that was from me,
I hardly noticed the team of people stitching me up, didn't notice I was haemorrhaging, I was just lost in his eyes.

Then that night as he truly woke up he began to cluster feed and cry a lot, and I remember thinking "Is this real? Am I really a parent now? Are his real parents going to come along any minute now and thank me for looking after him?"
I didn't really feel like a mum. Now I have a 2 month old and I've settled into the role much better.
But I still keep looking at his head and thinking "Golly, I pushed that melon out of me."

OP posts:
UghFletcher · 10/02/2019 22:50

Why can't I stop shaking
Oh god I'm going to be sick again
If I keep shaking I won't be able to hold him
Why does he look like my brother?!?!
How long will it take to stitch me back up?
Oh god I need food / coffee

Emergency CS after 24hrs in labour and the anaesthetic had given me proper shakes, I was puking up everywhere and hadn't eaten for over a day either. I was delirious

UnperfectLife · 10/02/2019 22:55

So relieved it was all over. But in shock for many days. I immediately ate a mars bar and then they brought me toast and coffee. Bliss.

jackio2205 · 10/02/2019 22:57

'Tea and toast? Why yes thank you' best idea and best menu ever invited!!!!

Also i remember thinking i felt like i'd been hit by a bus. Not even bring dramatic here, genuinely felt that bloody awful

TidaQuel · 10/02/2019 22:57

DS1 - total amazement
Ds2 - what colour are his eyes, check his eyes
DD - a girl? Are you sure? Really? Took a while for that news to sink in. I’d had a general and didn’t get to see her for quite a while.

Placebogirl · 10/02/2019 23:09

with both of them "oh! there you are. I've waited so long to meet you" (planned c-sections with both). Then with my daughter "oh holy fuck there is a face mould in there--you're identical to your brother. Shit. Here we go again..." (my first baby never slept, and I was hoping for an easier ride the second time. Thank goodness that's what I got).

WoollyMummoth · 10/02/2019 23:22

It’s not so much my DD’s birth I remember but the god awful two days prior, being induced and nothing much happening except being stuck in a greenhouse of a hospital ward. The tens machine irritated the shit out of me and I was forced to have a bath in a drafty room the size of a cathedral to’relax’ me.It put me off baths for life.

First thought after DS was born was thank god I’m not pregnant anymore.

olderthanyouthink · 10/02/2019 23:23

Reading these jogged my memory some more

When the paramedics took DD to dress her and check her I got a bit worried I'd gotten confused and she wasn't a girl and they would think I was stupid for getting it wrong

Tiredness: I was falling asleep between contractions but after she was born I was to wired to sleep
Hunger: hadn't eaten for about 10hours, wasn't hungry but ate in the hospital when offered because I knew I should, eventually my appetite returned and I ate loads of warm bread toast

I was very cold and shaky all night, they had to get me hot blankets

Seniorschoolmum · 10/02/2019 23:26

Being confused. I’d been asleep for 8 hours after a 40 hour labour & assorted drugs, and I’d forgotten why I was there.

RaffertyFair · 10/02/2019 23:27

Why would anyone knowingly do that again???!!! (Dd remains an only child Grin)

dellacucina · 10/02/2019 23:35

@olderthanyouthink did youmean to do that???

BuckBuckMcFate · 10/02/2019 23:39

DC1 was born with the cord around his neck

22 years later, if I close my eyes I can still vividly see this limp, blue, lifeless little baby with a head full of tiny black curls, arms and head and legs just hanging, being lifted into the air

The midwife whisked him away and sort of whacked him onto a table and started suctioning him

I was shouting "what is she doing to my baby? Stop hurting my baby!"

I'd had an epidural (never again!) and couldn't get off the bed though I was trying to get out to stop the midwife from hurting him

Then he cried

And I cried

And he was cleaned up and brought to me

And I thought "shit you look like my dad"

Was stitched up and everything hurt for weeks

By the time I had DC4, I checked him over, handed him to DP and said "I'm going for a shower and a poo cause its better to get it over and done with and there's still gas and air in the room if I need it"Grin

Original poster
PRoseLegend · 10/02/2019 23:41

I love reading all these stories.
For some context, I have a 2 month old. He was 2 weeks late and had to be induced.
My induction didn't take too long, one round of prostoglandin gels and 6 hours later my waters broke, contractions came quick and fast, 7 hours later baby was born.
I had a positive experience at my hospital, it's a midwifery led delivery suite, with a couple of consulting obstetricians. Very much pro skin to skin, pro delayed cord clamping, and pro breastfeeding.
We had a midwife with us the whole time monitoring.
At 7 hours into labor I felt my body starting to push without me trying. Asked MW to have a look, she said "don't push, you're only 5 cm". I thought "Shit, how much longer am I going to feel like this? Just get this baby out of me!!!" and I turned to my husband and said "I know she said not to push but my body is just pushing by itself, I can't help it."
Anyway, I went from 5cm to fully dilated in 20 minutes and baby was born, healthy. He didn't cry, which I thought was odd. They just placed him on my chest. Then a bunch of people came into the room and explained that I was bleeding, they needed to stitch me up and work out where the blood was coming from.
The stitches hurt like a bitch, I used gas and local anaesthetic to get through that bit, but it's all a bit of a daze as I had my baby finally.

OP posts:
Shelbybear · 10/02/2019 23:41

Mine was an emergency section, I had a fever too and had been rather ill so i don't remember a lot of it.

I can remember them lifting her up and then her crying quite quickly. I though oh good she's crying she's ok then. Then I held her couldn't really see her properly with the angles of lying down.

I felt sick, was hot/cold I remember being glad it was all over and we were ok. I was ill for hours with that fever after too 😕 and still felt sick, thankfully she was taken away for antibiotics so I only had to worry about myself for a few hours.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 10/02/2019 23:46

I was a little high on gas but I couldn’t stop talking about animals giving birth, apparently was going on about horses alone in the fields and how their babies have hooves. I remember thinking my baby would end up being an only child because I couldn’t possibly go through this again (I did). Then when she came out, I just couldn’t get over how tiny she was and kept asking “do we really get to keep her?”

northernsouljunket · 10/02/2019 23:48

@Isitweekendyet
Ha Ha. I wonder if any other woman in the history of the world has ever had that same post-birth?! I doubt it! What a bizarre image! (not meant as a criticism)

northernsouljunket · 10/02/2019 23:49
  • had that same thought post-birth
olderthanyouthink · 10/02/2019 23:54

@dellacucina NOOO!!!! I was sent home after going into hospital and finding out I was only 1 cm. My contractions went wonky in hospital so I was told to come back after having regular contractions for 3 hours but I gave birth within 3 hours of being told that. I got in the bath to help with the agony, DP called the hospital because I wasn't doing well with the pain and they were unhelpful so an ambulance was needed. Though technically I got what I wanted. Water birth, no needles, skin to skin, delayed cord clamping... just in the wrong place

OP my body pushed with out me doing anything, at no point did I actually try and get her out, I was actually trying to stop it/slow down.

December2018 · 10/02/2019 23:56

I remember looking at my baby and wondering why he had 6 fingers on each hand (he didn't I was just off my tits)
I remember thinking how on earth did my body make something so perfect I can just about boil an egg never mind make a human out of one!

Apparently I was talking to a sharps box on the wall thinking it was pikachu and telling the midwives to get the fuck out of my kitchen.... I can't even remember 😂

newroundhere · 10/02/2019 23:57

"Bloody hell, he's huge!"

9lb 10oz

PhilomenaButterfly · 10/02/2019 23:57

I hope he's okay. He was whisked away to have his lungs cleaned out.

meow1989 · 10/02/2019 23:59

I don't remeber and it was only 7 months ago Blush
I had an emcs after 24 hours of no progress and was knackered, sick and drugged up. I do remember that it seemed to be ages before he cried, though it wasn't.

I have photos of DS being born thanks to a lovely midwife who took them for me and I can only really remember the birth as those pictures, which wasn't what I was able to see at all in reality.

TrixieFranklin · 11/02/2019 00:01

There are no words for the feeling

Pyjamaface · 11/02/2019 00:08

I had an EMCS under General so when I came round, my first thought was to tell the nurses in the room off for swearing because one of them said shit, then, because I had no clue what was going on/what had happened, I tried to sit up. I swore, loudly and at length.

I asked about the baby, 3 questions that would be very outing if I said.

Hours later, off my tits on morphine, I actually met DS and decided on his name. Thankfully it was a good name and DP agreed Grin

PlinkPlink · 11/02/2019 00:08
  • Begging for an epidural at 10cm.
  • Realising this was it.
  • Waters breaking spectacularly all over the nurses.
  • 1st push.
  • Then told to stop pushing until they say so (what the actual fuck are you telling me to do when all I want to do is PUSH?!)
  • 2nd push and he's out!
  • I remember him being taken off to be weighed and I was listening for the cry but no cry. He was just a bit dazed I think.
  • Being asked if I wanted toast and tea (fuck yes I do)
  • Him being placed on my chest and seeing the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. Disbelief that we created such a beautiful baby. Pretty chuffed that I gave birth to that rather large cherub.
  • Seeing him cuddled skin to skin with his Daddy - never felt so much love for two people before.
  • Him nuzzling for a feed when everyone had gone out of the room (to make toast/get bags/meet other people in the waiting room) - very very special moment between just him and me.
gimmetheginbottle · 11/02/2019 00:13

I remember being absolutely astonished at the size of his balls Blush