Terrified! Is anyone willing to share their experience?

[LatoyaLondon]

15 weeks pg. Scared of childbirth already but also strangely looking forward to it. I'd like a water birth if possible but am well aware that plans often go out of the window. Would anyone be willing to share their experience from the point you knew you were in labour to giving birth? Specifically for first babies! Happy to hear the graphic bits (of course only if you're comfortable with sharing!). Thanks all!

No advice but I am 25 weeks pregnant with my first and following this thread as I am also scared. I was thinking of a water birth too but not 100% yet. Congratulations

What do you think is going to go so badly wrong, OP?
It was tougher than I expected but women have done this for thousands of years. We get thru it.

I was laid in bed around 10pm on a Friday night started having quite bad cramps (I wasn't eased into it like some people are) then I had the urge to go to the toilet sorry for tmi then the cramps became worse literally felt like they were every 2/3 minutes so went through to hospital I wasn't dilated enough to be kept in sent home laid on bed screaming my head off (was only 17 at the time and was terrified 😂) and went straight back to the hospital within an hour in the end they kept me in. I started on gas and air helped maybe a little bit but deep breathing seemed to help more also he's pethidin that really helped. I was there for a good 17/18 hour before finally I could be moved to the room where I would give birth had another pethidin however didn't work as well that time as contractions were pretty consistent by now. Had catheter in my hand ready for epidural however I screamed to midwife I needed to push so that ended up happening can't remember how long pushing took but I burst all blood vessels in my eye. Felt more like relief when pushing like a massive poo and once he was out I'd got a 2nd degree tear. I'm now pregnant with 2nd and quite looking forward to labour I know this time round to keep calm and not panic as much we're in safe hands and looking back it wasn't too bad to say I did it without epidural good luck !

@lljkk I don't think anything is going to go wrong though I'm aware this is always a possibility. I just wanted to hear some experiences from women who have done it before in order to gain a bit of perspective. I don't think it's abnormal to be scared of pushing a child out of your vagina regardless of how many women have done it previously!

Not catheter sorry cannula!

Thank you for sharing @Lmj25 - and many congratulations on your pregnancy

I'm 19 weeks with my first and also considering a water birth. Although one of my friends tried it and said the water was too cold for her so she got out again!

My fear is more of the possible long-term effects. I can get through the idea of the birth itself if I could be sure of having all my bits functioning as normal afterwards

Congrats to you too @LatoyaLondon best of luck

MNers are full of fears I never thought of, true.

I was surprised to discover that contractions actually hurt. For me, they were the worst bit.

When you see people on films and stuff doubling over it seems quite comic, but actually it does hurt, sort of like a cross between horrible period pains and someone squeezing your abdomen. When you are just having contractions and you don't know how long you'll be having them you feel miserable.

Gas and air combined with a TENS machine worked well for me, though I would have happily taken any drugs except an epidural. They gave me paracetamol!

I thought actually getting the baby out would be the worst bit. Of course it does hurt and it is really hard to push hard enough because you have to hold your breath and keep pushing for what seems like ages and if you don't do it long enough the baby sort of goes back in and you have to go again, but it's better than contractions because you know the end is near. If you just get this bit done it's all over.

Once the head is out it's great, you still have to get the body out but the worst bit is over and you can't possibly suck the head back in and also the midwives can sort of help the shoulders out and then basically pull the rest of the baby out. Then they offer you an injection to speed up detachment and expulsion of the placenta. That coming out can be a bit stingy but it's nothing after a giant baby just came out and you will have that giant baby to distract you.

Just remember it isn't like any normal pain. You are looking forward to that little baby and each stronger pain means that you are closer to seeing the baby. It's exciting pain.

Everyone's experience is different my waters broke early with my first then nothing happened for a few days

Oh and both of my births took less than ten hrs from the first real contraction to getting them out.

And my bits still work.

My waters went at 30 weeks and after 2 steroid injections, managed to keep dd in until 32 weeks.

I was very very scared, I was diagnosed with tokophobia (a fear of giving birth) and i'd elected for a section because of this but I went into labour early, had no choice but to push and it only lasted 3-4 hours and it was nowhere near as bad as I thought.

Pregnant again now and hoping to be braver this time thinking about hypnobirthing but still worried about it but booking an ante natal course this time round. Xx

I can honestly say it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, I dialated very very quickly so it was painful but it’s the best feeling when theyre here and you hold them for the first time :)

Good luck and congratulations xxx

@lljkk

@Bellabutterfly2016 that's really interesting. Never heard of tokophobia before! Many congratulations

I was supposed to have a C section due to a fear of giving birth.

I woke around 2am woth mild cramping and noticed the bloody show.

Around 6am the cramping was worse so I phoned labour ward. Went in and was examined, they said no signs of labour and sent me home.

The pains got mad, I thought I had either the worst constipation ever or my tummy was going to explode. For 2 hours I sat on the toilet drinking mint tea (I think this position probably helped things progress!)

Suddenly whilst on the toilet I seemed to be weeing without having any control (was clearly my waters, not sure why this didn't click). Called up.for my husband, told him I was broken and clearly very sick.

Half an hour later there was an uncontrollable need to push. We realised what was going on. We rushed off to the labour ward again, baby was delivered in a side room about 5 mins after we arrived.

He was born at 11am. Labour hurt but it was manageable. I didn't have the opportunity to have pain relief although I'd always opt for it given the chance.

My next babies were breach/ transverse lie twins so I had to have a C section. My vaginal birth was so much better for me.

Keep breathing deeply to get oxygen to the muscles during labour. If you hold your breath you will get tired faster and be in more pain. It is difficult to remember to breathe! I did read a hypnobirthing book, despite the woo language I did use the breathing techniques.

I had a water birth. Make sure you ring ahead to reserve a pool room. The temperature is digitally monitored and so if it was too cold I am sure the midwife could increase it! I was very fortunate to get the water birth and it definitely made the process less painful.

@Saz1995 I can't wait. We aren't finding out the sex beforehand either so it'll be a wonderful surprise!

Everyone has different experiences my first labour (see below) was different to my second. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be afraid. And there were times that I felt a bit scared, others a lot nervous but at times I also found it fascinating and sort of empowering (I am not the hippy type but I can’t think of a better word).
You sound like you have a sensible head on your shoulders and know that it’s not entirely possible to plan.
I wish you lots of luck and congratulations.
Anyway - my first labour:
My waters broke at home in the evening. Went to get checked out and came home. Weak contractions like tightening across my tummy for a while. Then more painful contractions every 5-6 mins. After 24 hours later I went in to be induced. Had the gel to induce. Despite contractions every 4 mins, still no dilation. Then was induced. Hooked up to monitor etc. Still contracting. At 7 cm I had an epidural. It sort of worked - less pain but still could feel pressure and discomfort. Suddenly after 54 hours,
just as they were discussing a c section - I was fully dilated and 2 pushes later my ds was born.
I was flipping knackered but I made a very fast recovery physically (terrible pnd after but that’s a different story).

I'm not going to lie, it hurt but it wasn't as horrendous as I had built up in my head. I coped by just going into my shell and counting through contractions. I found the pushing stage easier as I felt it was coming to an end and it felt like it was working towards something.

Congratulations and 💐

Oh and I bloody loved gas and air.

My advice is to trust your body. I laboured overnight at home with dc1, then went in, only to be sent home because I was only 3cm. Was at home for 2 hours and rang again, said I need to go back in because the pain was much worse. The midwife told me there was no way I would be close to 10cm as I had only been in 2 hours previously. Ignored her and went in. Was 9cm. Gave birth just an hour later so I was glad I ignored her.
It was very painful but at each stage I felt it was manageable. Good luck OP