Terrified! Is anyone willing to share their experience?

[LatoyaLondon]

15 weeks pg. Scared of childbirth already but also strangely looking forward to it. I'd like a water birth if possible but am well aware that plans often go out of the window. Would anyone be willing to share their experience from the point you knew you were in labour to giving birth? Specifically for first babies! Happy to hear the graphic bits (of course only if you're comfortable with sharing!). Thanks all!

Antenatal classes were really helpful about getting me to understand about the cervix opening and then the progression of the baby into the birth canal with contractions being positive pain, each one getting me closer to meeting my baby. Remembering that when it was actually happening was helpful ! I had mostly back pain, like an intense tensing up, rather than the abdominal pain across the front that representations of it on TV/films had led me to expect.

I also felt very nervous at earlier stages of pregnancy but by the end, your body has adjusted to so much change that really it is a feeling of’ yes! At last, let’s get on with it. !

@ILikeMyChickenFried gosh what a palaver! But ace you managed (albeit without choice) pain relief free! I really don't want a c section - of course I would have one if necessary in an instant but would love a vaginal birth in the first instance.

Great thread. You only ever hear about bad births and amazing births, so it's good to hear about all the types in between too.
I woke up one morning with period type cramps which started coming every 15-20 mins. The hospital told me to come in when they were 5 mins apart and very strong. So I stayed in my pyjamas at home watching tv and taking baths. At 1am I went in and was 5 cm dilated and they said I could go in the pool.
By 7am no sign of baby and I was getting cold so I got out of the pool and had only gone to 6cm because my waters hadn't gone. They broke them for me and I had diamorphine which allowed me to rest between contractions. I was also put on a drip because I was exhausted.
My baby came at around 11am. Contractions were worse than pushing and the urge to push is such a primal feeling.
The pool was amazing and I would have loved to have had the baby in there. It wasn't my exact plan but the moment he popped out I was elated.
Good luck for the future with your lovely baby!

I’d recommend looking into hypnobirthing- was a compete game changer for me.
My first birth was stressful and scary and very medicalised.

My second I was determined to take more of a controlling role and so I did hypnobirthing - was transformative and led to a completely natural, amazing and wonderful birth. I’d have more children just to give birth like that again.

Thank you @LadyLooLaa!

@GingerRogers84 keeping my fingers crossed I can have baby under water! I'm sure at the time I'll just want him/her out and will do whatever it takes to reach that point however!

Thank you!

Following. Just over 2 weeks until my due date and I’m very nervous but excited now.

Ive had two planned home births and two ambulance rides into hospital.

In both cases the midwives were calm, professional, made the decision to transfer quickly and decisively. The hospital was ready and waiting for me and the babies were delivered safe and well with a little bit of assistance (forceps the first time and had waters manually burst the second time).

So, even if you do plan a Home birth and things go tits up, it is still a perfectly manageable situation.

With regards to the actual labour, it is a weird thing. You just seem to go into the process. Hours dwindle into minutes and the pain isn't exactly nice, but it's not bad in the way a migraine or injury is. It's like you just go into it and can manage it. Because I had planned to have Home births I had gas and air as my only pain relief and I quite liked it. It didn't exactly rly take the pain away but I found it made me not really care about it. Like being drunk!

You'll be fine

I felt when I was pregnant it was like someone had said “you’re going to have a car crash at some point in the next x months. It could be really bad, it could be that you come out with barely a scratch on you”

DD was late, I think the waiting for something to happen was really hard, second guessing things, watching others due after you go first etc.

Then I had 2 days of contractions, back to back. Pain in stomach, back and thighs. Really hard to eat and sleep. Day 3 went in finally, didn’t realise I would be sat being monitored for over an hour before going into a suite. Then had an epidural. It was brilliant for me. First time in 3 days I was pain free, could have napped but didn’t feel like it.
It was very barely starting to wear off when it was time to push. I was cracking jokes. Forceps and a tear in the end but zero pain. I was sick about half hour after. As I had had the epidural, I had a catheter in until the next morning so I didn’t have to do nappies and the midwives would come help me pick her up as i couldn’t get up.

Ive had 2 nasty labours, 1 amazing (compared to the other 2) and im due again in a few months. Obv not put me off lol

Listen to your midwives, if you think something is wrong or you're not happy TELL THEM or ask to see someone else.
Thats my biggest mistake from first labour.

The second labour that went wrong was due to first labour (think all the fixing up they did was a bit botched)

The Labour after that was fantastic.
Yes it hurts.
A lot but its worth it.

My first labour was at local hosp which has very bad ratings. The other 2 at a bigger, more specialised hosp and thats where im planning on giving birth again.

My labour wasn’t quite what I imagined. A few days prior to my due date I woke up to contractions around midnight or 1, I started timing them but they never really became regular, stopped by 5am. It happened the next night or two, by my midwives appointment at 39+6 I was exhausted. She gave me a sweep and send me away, telling me the baby would arrive that day or the next. Sure enough, two hours later regular contractions started.
I laboured at home for about 10-11 hours with the TENS machine (highly recommend!!). Then went in and was admitted at 3cm. I had to be monitored prior to being allowed into the midwife led unit. Waters broke while being monitored. Had some paracetamol and cocodamol, mainly cause I had to lie down for monitoring. Pain was manageable while in any other position.
Finally got into the delivery room and into the birthing pool, which was ace. After a few hours I decided I needed a rest (I hadn’t slept in 3 days!) and asked for pethidine. I figured I’d be at it for a long while yet, might as well rest. While the midwife was away the contractions changed suddenly and I felt the urge to push. So called her back and got checked, fully dialated. So back into the pool. Unfortunately my contractions then slowed down. I didn’t realise this could happen, but apparently not uncommon in the pool. So I had to get out.
It then transpired that my daughter was back to back, so I had two hours of pushing in all different positions to try and turn her. Eventually it worked and she was born a few minutes later on her due date, with a small first degree tear.
I thought it was an amazing experience, it definitely hurt but I didn’t find it scary as the pain had a clear purpose and wasn’t constant. I felt in control as I knew what was going on. The high I had afterwards was awesome. I don’t mean the gush of love (didn’t get that) but the feeling of awe at myself managing to do it! I also loved the surprise of finding out her sex on my own. I remember asking but no one told me; I picked her up and found out on my own!
Just learn about the process and the possible interventions, so that you can make good decisions. I’d also recommend not getting fixated on a particular birth experience. I had the experience I wanted in the midwife led unit, but if I’d been in too much pain or too tired, I wouldn’t have hesitated to get an epidural.

Easy peasy my first I felt off, I had gone out late night before until 3am chatting with friends. Slept until 2pm and I just felt off. Couldn't explain it was meant to go to in laws for dinner ( was 37 weeks ) but had sudden stomach upset and needed the loo at 8pm I texted my dr as was worried i had a bug. He texted saying go get checked just in case I decided not too. At 11pm I noticed my Braxton hicks were every 4 mins. At midnight they started to hurt. Like an intense period pain but came in waves so totally manageable. I thought ok this is the start. I got to 5 am after pacing my house watching the good wife with oh timing contractions. At 5 they were uncomfortable so we went in I expected to be turned away. I was 6cm and absolutely fine in between them. I had an epidural as the thought of pain scared me ( i Tried a bath at home and it hurt more sitting or lying down ) I started pushing at 9am 9.20 he was born.

My second was a routine hospital appointment 37 week check. During night b4 I woke up with crazy hard Braxton hicks ( which weren't btaxton hicks in hindsight) twice but went back to sleep. Dropped toddler off at nursery appointment at 11.30am monitored ( standard where in live at 37 weeks) for 20 mins no signs. examined at midday again standard and to do strep b check. Junior dr looked at me confused then got my dr to check and he declared I was 6cm zero pain felt. So off I went to delivery in shock. Baby born 4.20. 5 minutes 3 pushes was a crazy day

The only bit of advice I would give is be prepared for all eventualities. I did a hypnobirthing course as was petrified of giving birth which I thought would really help. Baby ended up being breech and despite trying to turn him I ended up being booked in for a
Csection with the hope he might turn by himself. I was in hospital having steroid injections for said csection and waters broke at 1 in the morning resulting in 11 hours of contractions whilst I waited for a theatre slot and then semi emergency csection. It sounds a lot more dramatic than it really was 😂
Contractions weren't too bad but I only got to 4cm and if you end up having a csection it also wasn't too bad. You'll be fine OP no matter how it happens 😀

Well for me I had a week of stres leading up to the birth because I was ‘18 days’ overdue and had to have expectant monitoring, plus I wasn’t allowed my home birth. Spent my first labour sat on a birthing ball playing Freecell on the computer, took the dog for a big walk up a hill, and then when the contractions came strongly I slow danced and breathed through them with hubby. When I got in to hospital they wanted to send me home again as I clearly wasn’t in proper labour except by then I was 6cm, cue argument about the bloody monitor and being strapped to the bed - anyway I did it my way, stayed on my feet and swayed through the contractions, teensy bit of gas and air, pooed on the floor, and then it was all systems go! I just remember the bloody crowning being horrific but once he was out (it was like having a massive poo) omg the sense of utter relief!!! Was amazing. They stuck him on my stomach and I denied he was mine (had a few issues around acceptance!!)
Ds2 was even faster, hot bath triggered that labour off. Spent it on my feet again.i was desperate for him to crawl up my chest to my boobs, but He screamed blue murder until he was handed to hubby! Karma!!!
No pain relief with either of them :) both way overdue, both dead easy births.

I’m a terrible wimp and was petrified during my first pregnancy. Couldn’t watch One Born Every Minute as I would have terrifying nightmares afterwards. Anyway, Labour was nothing like as bad as I imagined. I had previously had a tooth abscess where the pain was much worse. You’ll be fine OP. It’s just one day. Good luck!

I had a very straightforward labour really, no signs or anything before, not even Braxton Hicks!

40+4, contractions woke me up around 5am - like sharp period pains for me. Managed at home deep breathing, rang the hospital at 8am when they were 4mins apart and they told me to wait as long as possible before coming in (low risk MLU - the theory is you're more relaxed at home and that helps you progress!).
Went into hospital at 11am, was 8cm dilated on admission (didn't lose my plug until this point!). Spent a few hours in the pool/with gas and air - neither took the pain away but helped me get comfortable and focus on breathing well. Ended up getting out the pool as we didn't know if my waters had broken, and they wanted to break them to bring on the pushing stage.
As it was I started getting pushing urges just as I got out anyway. Spent 1 hr45 ish pushing sat on a birth stool, and my baby was born at 4.15pm - so just under 12 hours all in all. I threw the gas and air on the floor for pushing so no pain relief. It hurts but you're very focused - at this stage you can feel baby making their way down and out, and once the heads out the body is pretty quick and easy!
I was quite aware of the placenta being delivered as my baby was taken out for some assistance with his breathing and not with me at that point. But it was just dull crampy contractions then shot out (I had the injection). Baby was fine, just mucusy, and back with us within 30 minutes.
I did have stitches for a second degree tear - however with paracetamol I felt fine, baby is 3 months old now and I feel more or less back to normal physically, and have done for at least a month. I had a bit of an emotional time around 24 hours later when I think the adrenaline wore off and I sobbed for no particular reason for about 3 hours, but I think that's quite normal!

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine!

And I very much agree with the be open to possibilities line of thinking - I think being quite relaxed and willing to go with it, and take whatever pain relief I felt I needed took the pressure off when it happened, it just turned out I didn't need to.
You don't know how you or your body is going to react until it happens, but women have been doing this for millions of years even without the amazing medical help we have now.

My first birth went very well. 7 hours of unpainful tightenings then 3 hours of painful but bearable active labour.
I tried the gas and air but didn't really need it, hurt to wee after but nothing major.

She was 4lb 4 so got lucky with her size I think. My second was 2lb7 and the contractions were a lot worse but pushing didn't hurt at all, and my third was 6lb10 and pushing him out hurt but the contractions were a lot less painful. Apparently the heavier the baby is the more weight there is pushing and you don't contract as hard, so either way one element of it won't be so bad!

FWIW, there's 12 months between my second and third so it was fresh in my mind and I was still excited about going into labour so it can't be that bad
It is painful, but its completely different to other types of pain, as you have slight pauses between contractions and you know its for something and will be over soon unlike pointless pain if you break a bone etc.

I've had four babies, first three big babies in the region of 10lbs, last one a girl so a bit smaller.

I did those births with nothing except gas and air and I have had to be induced with all four.

For my last I had an epidural because I wanted to experience childbirth with no pain and wanted to feel in control and fully present when she was born.

My last birth was definitely the best. Childbirth hurts a lot more than you might imagine! It is doable drug free but it's certainly not pleasant. Have no shame in asking for pain relief if you want it. Best of luck x

I had a planned home birth for my first and it was actually both really straightforward and really hard . Waters broke at 39+3 at 2.30 am (with a loud pop), rang the birth centre and they told me to come in no more than 4 hours later, so waited and went in at 6. No contractions to that point, they checked me and sent me home again.

Contractions began in the car about 730. Carried on for an hour, then called them as it was getting very painful (am wimp). As I could still talk, they told me to keep going! Called again at 930, could no longer talk and they sent the midwives, who took about 30 minutes to arrive. By that point I was in the pool we'd rented and rather shouty . By the time the gas and air was given I was 7cm!

I just kept floating about and screaming; contractions were pretty back-to-back for me. I did use our safe word to tell husband to get me to somewhere with drugs at some point, so the midwives called the paramedics out but did tell me I'd likely end up giving birth in the ambulance! They arrived but I was 10cm and starting to push so just sat quietly in the other room.

Pushing was painful, I remember being sure if I just didn't push they'd have to take me in and give me an epidural. This was incorrect. Only pushed for about 10 minutes though and he was born in the waterv at noon . Delivered placentas with the injection, went upstairs and got helped to latch him and given a cuppa, then the midwives left.

The part I look back on with regret is just that I was so out of it for about an hour that I didn't really remember much, it wasn't as though I was crying with joy or overwhelmed, just shell-shocked. Everything took a while to sink in.

I'm pleased that I did it, and more than happy with the result but I'd like to try a birth centre or hospital next time, just for the option of drugs and someone else tidying up afterwards!

Congratulations to you

I had my first contraction at 11am on a Thursday and baby was out at 7:30pm on a Sunday. So very long labour. I barely ate or slept during that time but weirdly didn’t feel hungry or tired. Just in a lot of pain!

I wanted a water birth too but baby had to be monitored and I found the pain a lot worse than I had expected tbh. Gas and air made me sick and I felt so panicky I couldn’t actually breathe through my contractions anyway. They ended up taking it off me because I wouldn’t breathe at the correct times. I originally didn’t want an epidural but was screaming for one by the time I was 7cm, but I was still hysterical with pain so I don’t think it worked properly. I wouldn’t have one again. So next time around I would look into a TENS machine and pethidine. For me pushing the baby out didn’t hurt at all, it was just the contractions that hurt like hell. The best advice is that it will be over and once the heads out the pain stops. Then had the placenta out with an injection which was totally fine. My recovery was fine but I bled a lot (for 7 weeks) and I didn’t expect my bits to hurt THAT much afterwards. Have some paracetamol ready to take for the first few days after birth and bring a plastic cup to hospital so you can pour into over yourself as you go for a wee then when you get home, wee in the bath.

I didn’t find out the sex either! But I secretly wanted a little boy hehe xx

I found each contraction started off light and got more and more painful. The last 10 seconds were horrendous but I could relax, pant count in my head and then it would start to fade. So although it was very painful it wasn’t continuous .