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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Birth:- better or worse than expected?

66 replies

Hazyhayz · 31/03/2018 23:15

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first and I have just no idea what to expect in terms of birth that I feel very unprepared mentally for it!
Everyone is teasing me about what a nightmare I'm going to be in labour because I'm such a wimp when it comes to pain or being ill. But it is knocking my confidence a bit, and I think I'm living in this fairy land where it's not going to be as bad as I think!

So was it much better than you imagined compared to all the horror stories or so much worse than you ever thought it would be? And I need the honest truths!

OP posts:

AlexisColbysFANCYfrock · 01/04/2018 09:31

DC1 - much worse.
DC2 - much better

SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus · 01/04/2018 09:43

OP, do go and see the labour ward / suite / place you're intending to give birth and ask about what pain relief options are available to you there - midwife led units can't do epidurals etc.

I had an epidural to reduce my blood pressure but wouldn't have one this time round as you're then stuck in bed; most hospitals can't offer ambulatory epidurals so you can't walk around the room / stand etc. and you're more likely to get an assisted birth / cesarean. Having the knowledge of what is available will give you confidence, as will a decent birth plan and a birth partner who fights your corner. You can put these things in place well in advance. Also, ignore the naysayers - tell them that their comments are unhelpful, or ask if they're planning on having the baby instead!

Millie2013 · 01/04/2018 13:57

The labour and birth itself wasn't anywhere near as bad as I feared AND the birth was forceps assisted)

But I had a PPH and became quickly unwell and also ended up with a hematoma, so that and the recovery was worse than I'd imagined

PurpleTraitor · 01/04/2018 14:18

Better. I’d do it again tomorrow. Hated every second of being pregnant, which is the only catch. I have a theory that I loved giving birth so much because it means the end of pregnancy. Such a huge relief. The getting a baby part comes a very distant second to the prize of no longer being pregnant. Its only a few (months) weeks afterward I get my head round the new baby bit of the deal.

Best high I have ever had !

Pennyweather · 01/04/2018 19:30

Honestly, I just don't think you can predict. There is such variation.

I had a planned section, so can't talk about labour - although my recovery was an absolute breeze! Friend of mine who had a very good labour, nothing more than a few buffs of gas and air, is also a famed "wimp" - both in the not-strong and low-pain-threshold senses. But it went better for her than a lot of our more stoic, fitter, stronger friends. You just can't tell. I think: be prepared for plans to change, don't invest too heavily in one particular sort of birth, and try to remember this is a common thing for women to do - straightforward births are common, you might be lucky enough to get one, but it's not your fault if you don't!

But like I said, I didn't actually have to do it, so it's very easy for me to say!

Shireslass · 01/04/2018 22:09

Not what I expected at all!
Like you everyone thought (including me) I was a wimp.
But I surprised myself when it got to it.
It is intense and at times overwhelming. But, there are ways of coping. Including pain relief, hypnobirthing, whatever you feel is right for you.
For me, the hypnobirthing ideas worked. In so far as I kept telling myself that the pain was for a purpose and every contraction down was a step closer to meeting my baby.
I do know we are all different. I would say try not to dwell on it, it will happen. Worry won't change that or the nature of your birth.

YouBetterWORK · 02/04/2018 05:26

Better, really didn't want induction, forceps or episitomy (who does?!) - ended up with all. However ok because I had an epidural.

Contractions before then were quite painful, but the forceps and episitomy was due to her cord being short and over her shoulder, not because of the epidural. I think if I hadn't have had it then my view of birth looking back would be very different!

Wellthisunexpected · 02/04/2018 07:40

So much worse. Couldn't believe how much worse! And I thought it would be horrific anyway!

Rockandrollwithit · 02/04/2018 07:48

Sorry, mine was worse than expected.

Had an elective section with DC2 which was amazing, far better than expected and an easier recovery than my natural birth.

Nomad86 · 02/04/2018 08:02

Fellow wimp here and honestly both births we're fine. My hormones took over. Just remember that everything your body is doing is to get the baby out quickly and safely.

tootsieglitterballs · 02/04/2018 09:43

1st - way worse than expected, awful induction, awful labour, complications, ended 4 days later in an EMCS.

2nd - incredible experience and way better than I ever even hoped for !

Every single experience is different - I know someone who recently had her first - less than 2 hours, start to finish!

QuercusQuercus · 03/04/2018 05:50

People should not be 'teasing' you about not being able to cope with labour, it's a shitty thing to do to a first-time mum! Tell them to bog off.

It's really impossible to say how it'll be for you before it happens. Some people will say it's no worse than period pain, others will experience the worst pain of their lives, because each birth is different.

FWIW I'd keep your options open on pain relief (maybe go somewhere everything's available), don't get too fixated on one philosophy of birthing, and don't buy into any competitiveness or put expectations on yourself. Arm yourself with options and remember whatever happens is fine as long as you and baby are ok.

FWIW I had 2 births that, on paper, were my nightmares. But at the time, the 2nd especially, I got through them one step at a time.

Blondemother · 04/04/2018 20:19

Better! I wanted a natural birth in water so was fearing the worst when I had to have an induction.
It was long, and painful once on the drip, so I got an epidural and it was wonderful.

Shut your ears to anyone teasing you and tell them to piss off. You might surprise yourself and breeze through, you might want all the drugs. But you’ll do it and you’ll be okay!

BendydickCuminsnatch · 04/04/2018 20:23

Waaaaaay better. And I had forceps with zero pain relief (not through choice, it was too quick for anything to take effect). I recommend hypnobirthing!

WasThatPlaceTHESUN · 04/04/2018 20:34

The actual birth was better than I expected. Everyone kept saying I should prepare for a long labour but mine was fairly quick and uneventful, I managed on just gas and air.

The afterwards was worse though. I only sustained a minor first degree tear but it bloody hurt and trying to pee afterwards was agony. I didn't expect to feel so sore, was a bit naive really!

FartnissEverbeans · 05/04/2018 21:09

Worse worse worse worse worse worse worse

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