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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Birth:- better or worse than expected?

66 replies

Hazyhayz · 31/03/2018 23:15

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first and I have just no idea what to expect in terms of birth that I feel very unprepared mentally for it!
Everyone is teasing me about what a nightmare I'm going to be in labour because I'm such a wimp when it comes to pain or being ill. But it is knocking my confidence a bit, and I think I'm living in this fairy land where it's not going to be as bad as I think!

So was it much better than you imagined compared to all the horror stories or so much worse than you ever thought it would be? And I need the honest truths!

OP posts:

InionEile · 01/04/2018 03:47

I absolutely hated the sensation of pushing, it was just weird and creeped me out. I couldn’t wait for it to end. The early labour was ok, manageable with breathing and punching the walls now and again.

All in all, birth was pretty much as expected for me - but I had very low expectations

Sewblue · 01/04/2018 04:06

It’s amazing. You’re giving birth to your baby. You’re built to do this. Have confidence in your body. Use pain relief if you need it at the time. You don’t have to decide now and may get no choice anyway. It does hurt but it is pretty unavoidable pain and not a pain to be worried about. Embrace it. It’s a v small part of the whole pregnancy / looking after real baby in the big scale of things. At least you’re aware of it. I was pretty naive with baby number one and afterwards thought why did nobody tell me...but it wouldn’t have made any difference if they had. I’m now 26 weeks with baby number 4 and really really loooking forward to the birth. So excited. You’ll be great however and whatever happens. Xxx

kiwielite · 01/04/2018 05:19

Much better. I kept expecting it to get worse but it never did. I did it with gas and air, although asked for an epidural at transition but there wasn’t time for it by then. And then once I was told i was fully dilated i didn’t want it anyway. I think the hardest thing is not knowing how long it’s going to take. I found the pushing the most painful (and a totally different feeling) but easier to deal with because you know you’re on the home stretch.

Had my first DC last year and was induced with the drip. My waters had broken but labour didn’t start spontaneously, the pessary didn’t work.

Good luck OP, surrender yourself to the process, you can’t change it

Cirrys · 01/04/2018 05:23

It's not just about how you cope with pain, it also depends how much pain you actually have. My baby was large (90th percentile) and tried to reverse her way out. The pain was unbearable. Other women have had a different experience... maybe their baby is better positioned or they have bigger hips etc.

cornishmumtobe · 01/04/2018 06:58

So much worse.

But then I had an epidural amazing.

Hughpughbarneymagrew · 01/04/2018 07:17

Every birth experience is different which is why you'll get a broad range of opinions.
Whatever happens, most people find that although it hurts, the knowledge that it's only a temporary situation and at the end you'll have your baby makes it manageable.

Johnnycomelately1 · 01/04/2018 07:22

First: worse because I drank the cool aid on all the hippy shit.

Second: better because I literally asked them to call the anaesthetist as I walked through the door to the labour unit.

IceBearRocks · 01/04/2018 07:27

Had 3 and actually .. enjoyed them! I was in control so had no pain relief !
I was wonderfully lucky!

Stillgameforalaugh · 01/04/2018 07:28

Better. Honestly I'm a total wimp. I went from no pain to fully dilated in 3hrs both times. The first time when my contractions started they were constant.... none of this 3 minutes apart nonsense... so it was intense but manageable.
I did dc2 on no pain relief... and other than the contractions being nippy it was fine.
On the other hand my friend has a high pain threshold and she found getting to 3cm agony

Alienspaceship · 01/04/2018 07:30

Much better. I had taken every. Ruth story seriously and the cumulative effect was that I sort of thought I was going up die of pain. It put me off having children until late in life - I was too scared.

Alienspaceship · 01/04/2018 07:31

Birth story

Cracklesfire · 01/04/2018 07:36

Way better than I expected. Due to do it again soon and strangely excited about it.

I’d like a third eventually but at this point it’s pregnancy that would put me off not the labour.

elliejjtiny · 01/04/2018 07:42

Dc1- better
Dc2- worse (he was back to back)
Dc3- better
Dc4- worse
Dc5- worse.

Nelly1727 · 01/04/2018 07:43

Definitely easier. DS1 I was induced so no. House but an epidural. Was complicated, cord twice round his neck but no pain due to epidural. 2nd and 3rd labours just a bit of gas and air. Both were very quick though. I thought labour wasn't as painful as I imagined and perfectly manageable. However, probably easy to say that with a quick birth. I think the pain over a sustained period of time would be harder to handle.
Good luck, think positively and you will be fine.

Nelly1727 · 01/04/2018 07:43

Choice not house!

Batterseapark · 01/04/2018 07:52

Worse.
Labour pain worse than expected.
Healthy baby but much worse outcome for me. I was not built to deliver a baby vaginally.

BillywigSting · 01/04/2018 07:59

Much better.

I ended up induced and with an epidural (which was lovely, I even had a nap after I got it)

Midwife did look pretty horrified when I said it was no more painful than a bad period and I could totally deal with it because I did on a fairly regular basis (was being monitored so she could see the strength of the contractions. I do get some pretty horrendous periods mind you)

It wasn't the birth I had originally planned and ds came out a bit battered looking (he had scalp monitoring because they kept loosing the signal from the one that goes on the bump) but my midwife was an absolute Saint who basically told the scalpel wielding obstetrician to fuck off with that ventouse /forceps, she can do it herself. She was right and I will be forever grateful to her for saving me from a very unnecessary episiotomy!

I also had my mum and my partner with me who were both pretty good advocates when staff were being arsey or taking their time with pain relief etc and I think that helped a lot too.

I gave birth in the Liverpool women's though which is pretty shit hot on maternity care (though post natal had a fair bit to answer for. Sending my partner home at 3 in the morning for 3 hours until visiting was open, leaving me totally numb from the waist down, alone with my very drowsy baby, struggling to feed and utterly bereft, all I wanted in the whole world for those three hours was to hold my baby and to have dp with us.

But the actual birth was a breeze. I mean, yes it hurt, a lot, but it's a bit different in there's a purpose to the pain, and you just sort of deal with it (even when you think you can't)

winterwonderly · 01/04/2018 08:05

It was better than I thought (and number two was similar). I think I'd built it up in my head that it was going to be so awful, and I was fully prepared to take whatever drugs I felt I needed at the time. But I kept thinking to myself this isn't all that bad yet so I'll hold off on the drugs until it gets worse and I really need it. And I ended up just using gas and air towards the end. Yes it's bad, but it's not constant, you feel the contraction getting stronger, peaking and then easing off and then you have a bit of a break until the next one.

tootiredforeverything · 01/04/2018 08:07

I don't know if it was any worse than I thought it would be, but it was very long and painful. I had worried a lot like you about how I would cope. But I was so ready for the baby to come out by the end of the pregnancy, that I didn't worry when it finally started. I did 36 hours without pain relief but the had an epidural for the last 12 hours due to complications. But I would say things like pregnancy yoga, hypnobirthing techniques and sitting in water really helped with the early stages of labour. Don't worry, you will prove everyone wrong and you'll be brave and strong when it happens. Just don't be afraid to ask for an epidural... it's amazing!

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 01/04/2018 08:08

Two of my births had problems but even with that happening it wasnt too bad , i went in mentally prepared it was going to be really painful and take a long time but it really wasnt that bad , you are strong you can do this try not to get anxious about it you need to be relaxed and go in with an open mind

N2986 · 01/04/2018 08:13

The pain was worse than I expected but I didn't expect my body to just take control like it did. I just went into a 'zone' all of my own and time flew by.

Just trust your body- don't fight what it wants. When I went into transition the first time I panicked and tried to stop it. The second time I just went with it and it was much easier.

Good luck

TheDogHasEatenIt · 01/04/2018 09:10

Better, but i gave myself a good talking to beforehand. Had always been terrified of giving birth, but i told myself the baby had to come out, so to make the best of it. I had water births at home and used a hypno birthing cd beforehand. First labour, dh was useless as a birth partner, kept falling asleep or wandering off. Second time, i asked a friend to be with me and that was much better. Pain-wise it was mostly manageable, in the early stages i used visualisation techniques and later, your body just sort of takes over. The strangest thing for me was that in between contractions the pain goes away completely, which is good, cos you use that time to recover for the next one! Remember that every contraction brings your baby closer, and the pain doesn't last forever, i also found counting through my contraction helped, i knew that once i got to 90, it would stop.

ememem84 · 01/04/2018 09:13

Better. I was like you throughout my pregnancy. But by the time I got to 38 weeks I just wanted it done. Ds was born at 39+4. And I have never felt such relief.

I just felt so uncomfortable and tired.

The birth itself was ok. No drama. It was quick. So that’s good.

Most important thing I read was to just go with it. Your body knows what to do. Trust it. Let it do it’s thing. Don’t fight it.

Anditstartsagain · 01/04/2018 09:25

My first time was nightmareish they kept giving me more and more morphine based pain relief which didn't agree with me so I was out of it like being so drunk you see double and can't get up.

Second time I had gas and air then skipped right to the epidural it was much better even though it ended in emcs it was mostly ok and the actual operation was so chilled and relaxed much better over all.

I feel the first time I was so obsessed with avoiding intervention that I let it go on to long second time when I needed the same intervention I took it straight away and it was much easier on my body and baby.

ellesbellesxxx · 01/04/2018 09:30

Better.. it was a familiar kind of pain if that makes sense? I was worried about having one twin vaginally and one c section as it does happen but luckily although needed instrumental delivery for both, both born vaginally.
Yoga breathing though made all of the difference. I had an epidural but could still feel contractions in my back so used breathing to help

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