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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Birth:- better or worse than expected?

66 replies

Hazyhayz · 31/03/2018 23:15

I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first and I have just no idea what to expect in terms of birth that I feel very unprepared mentally for it!
Everyone is teasing me about what a nightmare I'm going to be in labour because I'm such a wimp when it comes to pain or being ill. But it is knocking my confidence a bit, and I think I'm living in this fairy land where it's not going to be as bad as I think!

So was it much better than you imagined compared to all the horror stories or so much worse than you ever thought it would be? And I need the honest truths!

OP posts:

SprogletsMum · 31/03/2018 23:17

I think it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's not generally a constant pain and it's different to anything else you'll have experienced plus you get a baby at the end of it.
The one piece of advice I think helped me the most was to remember that each contraction is one step closer to the baby.

applesandpears56 · 31/03/2018 23:18

I’ll be honest - it was worse
BUT the experience of holding my newborn so much more than I could ever have imagined

I know a lot of people talk about birth plans but tbh there’s not much you can do - the baby will decide when and how it’ll come out usually!

If you are worried about pain ask for an epidural - it takes all the pain away

ShowOfHands · 31/03/2018 23:27

DC1 - worse, PTSD inducing
DC2 - better, extremely healing

Steeley113 · 31/03/2018 23:31

Worse, and every time I do it once those contractions get bad I wonder why I put myself through it again. However, it’s clearly worth it as I’m waiting to do it for the 3rd time. Don’t worry about it, just deal with it as it comes.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 31/03/2018 23:31

Honestly, the pain (when it happened) was indescribable.
But overall, it was ok. I mean. You are pushing a baby out of your vagina. It’s not fun.

Soon2bemum2017 · 31/03/2018 23:33

The best part is as soon as your baby is delivered and you hold them the pain is gone.

If you are worried about the pain ruining your experience then wjy nlt have an epidural?

BellMcEnd · 31/03/2018 23:37

LOADS better! I’m a massive dramallama about illness and pain as a rule: my friends and family (and me) all thought I’d be the one with the epidural the second I could have it plus any other drug I could get

I had gas and air with the first, then 2 home water births. I actually enjoyed all of my labours.

Best of luck!

BeeMyBaby · 31/03/2018 23:47

DD1 - much much better. Fairly quick with no problems
DD2- a bit worse, only because I was expecting it to be easier but it was the same
DS - worse, worse much worse. He came out looking like he had been punched with his face all swollen and a very blood shot eye, and needed a bit of resuscitation.

bellsbuss · 31/03/2018 23:50

I have very low pain threshold but due to quick labours have only ever had gas and air which is amazing. Il be honest though and say that I've always said give me an epidural. I found the contractions worse than the actual births and you do forget the pain immediately

guest477337 · 31/03/2018 23:55

It's a shock 😁 I ended up having an epidural and it was best decision of my life!

Original poster

Hazyhayz · 31/03/2018 23:55

I'm hoping I'm going to surprise everyone and manage it really well! I'm definitely giving an epidural a lot of thought, but I worry I won't get it for whatever reason and don't want to plan and get my hopes set on anything because absolutely the baby decides!

OP posts:

Thundercatshoooo · 31/03/2018 23:56

First baby probably not as bad as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong it hurt a lot but I imagined worse.

Second baby I think I'd repressed a lot of the first birth and I remember thinking during that it was awful and hurt lots, I told my husband that it hurt 1000 times more than last time! Pretty sure it was no worse than the first time really. It can't have been that bad though, we are planning to have another.

I think the best thing you can do is not overthink it, you do cope far better than you imagine.

Bobbiepin · 01/04/2018 00:05

Yeah its definitely not fun but it's something you have to just let go and give yourself over to your body and let it happen. I was asking for the epidural bit didn't have it in the end (19 hours, gas and air and a tens machine).

The only advice I can give is know your options and don't over think or over plan it. I went in knowing I didn't want pethedine and refused that but otherwise was open to seeing how things went. It might be easier than you expect or it may be harder, every birth is different. Good luck!

applesandpears56 · 01/04/2018 00:09

Pethedine was the best bit of my labour - was like being happy drunk at a really good party!!

SarahBeeney · 01/04/2018 00:25

I've heard loads of women say their pain threshold is low and then have drug free births!
Every birth is different. I've had two emergency c sections but I gather that the pushing bit is agony but by then you're at the point of no return and nearly there.
The thing with contractions is that they (usually) start gradually. You'll know if you're not coping.

Bobbiepin · 01/04/2018 00:33

@sarahbeeney the pushing bit was a big relief. Transition hurts like hell (8-10cm) and you desperately want to push but you can't, then pushing comes and you can do something with a contraction. I would compare it to biting down when you have toothache. It doesnt get rid of the pain but it gives some relief. When the head comes out it stings like a motherfucker but you're only a push or 2 away so all good by that point.

northside · 01/04/2018 00:37

People said that I was a wimp, too. Was in labour for days before hand with almost no medication. However, I went straight for the epidural after my waters broke and feel asleep for most of my active labour... so, it was better than expected, for me.

SarahBeeney · 01/04/2018 00:38

I do wish I'd been able to have a vaginal delivery. I gave it a bloody good go though.
Women say some funny things in transition don't they?"I'm leaving/going home/had enough"etc.

blinkineckmum · 01/04/2018 02:19

1000 x worse. Get the epidural!

Bobbiepin · 01/04/2018 03:18

@sarahbeeney don't beat yourself up about it, you get the baby out safely, however you can & that's it. No delivery is better or worse than the other.

I asked for an epidural as I mooed my way through transition. Went from 2 to 8cm in 3 hours. Lovely midwife got as far as putting me on iv fluids before I was pushing!

FellOutOfBed2wice · 01/04/2018 03:29

Not as bad. I also got a lot of stuck about what I was going to be like but in the end I handled it like a champ. And meeting your baby for the first time... well there are no words. It’s brilliant.

FellOutOfBed2wice · 01/04/2018 03:29

Stick not stuck!!

Prusik · 01/04/2018 03:40

I found both my labours better than expected. Labour two was a bit more intense as it was quicker but that was a pleasant surprise as I didn't have to labour for hours. I hate period pains though so that's a bit of a bummer. It's my worse kind of pain - although mostly that was the early stages so just occasional discomfort. Crowning is a bit bitey, but over quickly. Had both of my boys with no pain relief - ds2 was actually born in my bathroom

mogulfield · 01/04/2018 03:43

There was probably about 5-10 minutes in my whole labour where I felt like I genuinely couldn’t cope (transition)... which in the grand scheme of things isn’t bad. I felt like I was being torn in 2! I did have a very quick labour though so it was probably more intense than most!
But looking back it was manageable on gas and air I just needed to calm down. Do hypnobirthing and remain calm and you’ll be fine on g an a, it’s good stuff!

comfortandjoy · 01/04/2018 03:47

Better. I was so lucky. It was fine and so much easier than all I’d heard and read. No screaming in pain. It was manageable as there were gaps where you could catch your breath and focus .

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