Honest opinions on pain...

[nerofire63]

I know childbirth is different for every woman but one thing that has been in my head since my teens was PAIN! I am worried about it and it scares me. I am not even pregnant yet, only trying and I am worried.

I want honest opinions... On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain?

I had my first DD in December and was similarly worried. I did a course called Daisy Birthing which taught about the stages of labour and movements and breathing you can do to help. I had the tens machine on for the early stages and then was in the water, as well as hubby massaging my back, and though it was painful it was actually not as bad as I was expecting for most of it! I ended up having no pain relief, not even gas and air! Cos I never asked for it and it turns out you have to ask!! It was a really good birth and set us up nicely.

Would highly recommend Daisy as it made me feel in control and I knew what to expect. Plus I met other lovely new mums!

I got epidurals both times before I reached my point of intolerance but the pain of strong unmedicated contractions for me was highly painful. I also found it mentally very disconcerting the way my body would be causing me severe pain, then completely stop for the pause between contractions and then ramp right back up again. I know some people find that a relief but for me it was like each break was just a chance to think again about the pain that was about to begin.

I refuse to believe that labour pain is a consequence of social conditioning or fear or expectation. Labour for the vast majority of women is highly painful and the pain is felt in the same nerves and areas of the brain as any other pain. I believe the advent of safe effective epidurals is a huge feminist advancement. There is no proven benefit to women or their babies from undergoing labour pain. Pain in any other circumstances is treated without question. I believe all women should have full information and ready access to all forms of effective pain relief the moment they want it.

3DC, 2 induced. I used a TENS machine and gas and air for all (although last one came so quick I didn't get enough G&A). For me the worst of the pain was probably equivalent to toothache in intensity but not as bad because knowing the pain was there for a reason in a room with a couple of people there to support you is better than being awake with toothache in the middle of the night alone IYSWIM. But that is just my experience. The important thing to remember is that you live in a country where you have access to a variety of methods of pain relief and good obstetric care and so if you find the pain is getting too much for you you can ask for pain relief and your partner and the MWs and Drs will help you access that.

I managed on tens for 36 hous at home followed by water and gas and air for 5 hours in the birthing suite.

I would defiantly recommend using hypnobirthing and breathing techniques as they led me to being super confident going in which kept me relaxed and calm until right towards the end when things got intense. Right at the point where the pain was getting too much was wgen thry told me i was 9cm and to start pushing which helped as i had something to do finally!! The pain is bad yes but that isn't really the hard part it's more knowing that things are only going to get more intense and not knowin how long or what will happen. When I got scared is when I started to lose control of the pain.

Screaming was a big help. It gives you something to focus on. I found the gas and air took me out of things a bit and helped me to relax between contractions. It didn't really help with the pain.

I recommend trying everything, learning about everything. Trying to stay relaxed and calm will speed things up and keep it barable. By the time I was begging for an epidural I only had an hour or two to go so too late.
It's now 7 weeks later and I am struggling to remember the pain (people say women forget how painful child birth but I think people in general forget about pain and it isn't specific to birth) when my son appeared there was so much relief that it was over.

I was an older mum and labour progressed quite slowly. Imagine the worse period cramp ever, combined with back ache and being very very tired. I did 20 hours on tens & gas&air.
The pain came on gradually by which time I was so focused on working with it, that I'd stopped worrying about whether it hurt.
It was much less scary than I'd expected but more tiring. I was fairly fit but slept for 14 hours afterwards. No idea who looked after newborn.

It hurt but because you know it is going to and nothing bad is happening it isn't awful.

I had DS using tens at home, then water and gas & air in hospital, then I had to have an epidural for the birth itself because it was an assisted delivery.

I would say the pain at home was about a 7 or 8 out of 10 towards the end. Paracetamol might have helped to take the edge off it but I couldn't keep it down.

The pain was easier to manage in hospital, maybe a 6, because the water and g&a made a big difference for me.

The epidural took the pain away entirely within seconds. If you are worried about the pain I would definitely just have an epidural.

Even knowing the difference that an epidural makes, with DC2 I am still planning to labour without one if possible simply because I know I can do it without one and I'd prefer not to have the additional recovery time (plus I'm squeamish about having the injection into my spine unless I really need it).

It depends - on how the baby is positioned, how that interacts with your own anatomy, what kind of intervention you need. Every birth is different.

It’s definitely NOT about how calm or how much hypnobrithing/breathing you’ve done. While these can be valuable calming techniques, the pain level is dictated by physical factors.

Honestly, very very painful, much more so than I expected. I don't remember my first so well, just that the pain exhausted me, but I had my second 6 weeks ago so remember much more clearly. The gas and air helped because it gave me something to focus on each contraction and made me care less about the pain. I had 5 single dose epidurals and 3 of them failed so be prepared for that possibility. But the thing is, it will end eventually and knowing that is what helps you get through it.

I had a very quick unmedicated (due to being so quick labour) and it was painful I wont like but it was ok because I knew why I was in pain and what would get it to stop (the birth).

Pain is often frightening because we worry about what it means for ourselves and our health and not being sure when it will stop. Childbirth we know why and we know when it will stop

I found childbirth pain to be totally different to any other pain. You know why you’re contracting, it’s your body working normally so you can give birth. That thought helped me, because I knew what was happening and it was normal.

It’s a strange thing to ask really as you’ll get a different answer from each person. Just because my labour was really painful doesn’t mean I can say “labour is really painful”, it just means that mine was. I think it is painful for most women but not all. As Hypermice said, it depends on a lot of things.

Definitely do an antenatal class, I did a hypnobirthing one which was really good - it wasn’t “woo” like you might think, and it helped us to be informed about our options as well as relaxed and positive about the birth. Pregnancy yoga really helped me too. The birth was still painful but the hypnobirthing and yoga helped me not to feel too anxious during my pregnancy.

If you can afford it I would recommend having a doula. The reason I suggest it is that they can support and advocate for you during the birth, and crucially that includes making sure you get the pain relief you want, when you want it. I have heard of women asking for epidurals and not getting them (or not getting them soon enough) so that would worry me.

I was induced, and I found the pain hard to cope with. I remember at one point needing to go to the loo, and actually being in tears at the thought of potentially having to be away from the gas and air for a couple of minutes during a contraction while I went for a pee. I did have an epidural in the end, but I was one of the unlucky ones where it didnt really work. However on a more positive note, the thing that kept me going was the knowledge that it would end when the baby came, so although it was awful, it was only for a relatively short time, which made it mentally bearable.

Hypnobirthing and breathing techniques CAN definitely affect the pain levels, because pain isn't some objective thing, but can operate with a feedback loop - eg tensing of muscles can exacerbate it, fear can heighten it, relaxation can help produce more endorphins, etc etc. I have an acquaintance who's world expert in pain relief, and that was very much their take on it. Of course the pain will also be affected by body shape, how you labour, baby positioning, etc, but your body's perception of the pain levels can be adjusted.

For what it's worth, I experienced the pain as something coming from within rather than something being done to me, if that makes sense, and that helped a huge amount. I labour quite quickly once I'm up and running, so contractions were really close together from the start, but you do know you'll get a break from each one, so just take one at a time and remember it's categorically not going to last forever

It’s different for every person and every birth. I’ve had two births, babies positioned completely differently, pain and the way labour went was completely different.

One was a spine to spine and that was excruciating. Labour completely in my back, thought I would die. The other positioned normally, labour in back and front, much better, pain fairly manageable.

I honestly don't remember DDs birth being particularly painful - only had gas and air. What I do remember is the overwhelming tiredness of being awake for over 40 hours without any sleep - 30 of those in labour - and pushing for almost 2 hours.

I agree with others that it's hard to say really as it's different for everyone. My baby was back to back, had a gigantic head and I was induced - honestly, it was horrendous and I begged for my epidural!

I did hypno birthing and would recommend it as it helped me during the early stages.

It'll be worth it when you've got your baby, good luck!

Hypnobirthing is a set of techniques which have value and are useful. No doubt about that. Being calm can help the physiological feedback loop - to a point

What I’m trying to say is that the level of pain you will experience is physiological - we run the danger of telling women that if they just do hear excercises it’ll all be ok and if it isnt, well then they are Doing It Wrong.

My friend has just given birth this week - big hypnobirthing advocate. She found the pain intolerable, terrifying, uncontrollable - the baby was poorly positioned, she needed forceps etc and was in shock.

They are useful techniques but understand their limitations and boundaries - no amount of hypnobirthing is going to alter the physiological reality of back to back or poorly positioned start. That doesn’t mean don’t do them, it just means understand what they can and cannot do for you.

A big risk for PND is disconnect between expectations and reality - women who are 100% set on birth being one way who then experience something different and blame themselves for not breathing right or failing somehow.
Birth is natural, and inherently dangerous and unpredictable. Go into it with realistic expectations and be aware of pain relief options and techniques.

I was induced when I was nowhere near natural labour and DD was back to back.

It was the worse pain I've ever felt. I was so awful I lost all concern for my DD and wished I was dead. It's a good part of the reason I'll never have another.

I think that's unusual though.

I was induced with the first, and had an epidural. With the second, I coped with gas and air until I went for EMCS, despite urging by the midwife to have an epidural, because I didn't like the epidural the first time, and wanted to hold out for a spinal block, which I think means that it wasn't terrible, because I could make that decision.

Worse for me was the exhaustion, because I'd been having strong contractions every 8-20 minutes for a week, so had barely slept - I had a couple of hours of sleep following some pethidine that is the only thing that gave me the energy to get through to the next day when my DS was finally born.

For DS2 I had no pain relief.
I was on my knees with hands rested on bed head.

It it painful, off the scale. But you do have that few seconds in between contractions to re focus.
I found deep breathing really helped me & stay controlled.
Your adrenaline is going and you are beyond excited to meet your new born. You know that each contraction means your getting closer!!

The worst bit is when the head crowns. It's like a 'ring of fire' but once that's done your through!

Fairly straightforward back to back labour here, but long. Level of pain ok, it’s the length of time and not knowing how long it will go on for that ground me down. Be prepared for a bit of a marathon first time. Shot of diamorphine and gas and air at the end got me through. Midwife advise staring at lowest level of pain relief then you can step up if you need so you feel there’s always another option. Good luck.

Honestly? First time- induced with drip - really bloody painful. Ended up having an epidural after hours and hours as I couldn't cope anymore . Second time- did Daisy birthing course and hypnobirthing CDs in preparation. Genuinely not bad pain. Towards the end it wasn't exactly comfortable, but I could do it now without too much worry. I would try to sign up to a pregnancy yoga/ Daisy birthing course, I really think it helped me.

Bearable. No scary. But intense. You get plenty of 'pain free gaps' when you are not contracting.

Try hypnobirthing. Highly recommend.

I used the tens machine then gas and air. I had similar concerns because I had never really been in pain so wasn't sure if my threshold was high or not. I would say it was about a five - totally manageable with pain relief.