Honest opinions on pain...

[nerofire63]

I know childbirth is different for every woman but one thing that has been in my head since my teens was PAIN! I am worried about it and it scares me. I am not even pregnant yet, only trying and I am worried.

I want honest opinions... On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain?

I was just like you... read everything I could find on what the pain would be like. The truth is that the pain is indescribable and totally unimaginable. But by the end of the pregnancy you are so desperate to not be pregnant anymore, you suddenly stop feeling frightened and just want the birth over and done with. Water helps, as did listening to hypno birthing, but I think it's kind of luck of the draw as to the type of labour you end up having. My labour was extremely long and unknown to me the baby was back to back. Exhaustion was probably worse than the pain if I'm honest as the pain gradually builds so you kind of get used to it, but once you're tired it's so hard to find the energy to keep going. That being said i had a 48 hour labour, and I don't think that is the norm. I desperately wanted a natural birth and I think would have managed it in the water if after 40 hours, there hadn't been complications and I wasn't so tired. But my advice is don't feel ashamed to want to have an epidural- it really does stop the pain and was such a relief when I finally had it. But also it's also amazing what the body can do and cope with. And as others have said, you do forget. A year later... I'm ready to do it again!

Many might forget the pain, not all do.
OP it's impossible to give you anything concrete as your birth will be yours, noone else's. Best you can ever do is know an epidural might work for you (might not) put a request in for it early in any case and don't let them switch it off!

No where near as painful as I expected. Plus it was a dull pain rather than a sharp pain.

You don't know what you're going to get.

DC1 was completely unmedicated but pretty unpleasant- I laboured very fast and dilates 6 cms in an hour- the contractions were on top of each other and no 'technique' worked. I threw up a lot. By the time I got anywhere near any gas and air I was pushing and didn't want it. Tiny baby though.

DC2- homebirth, also quite quick (5.5 hours from 1st twinge to birth). Big baby and contractions objectively more painful but much more regular and feeling in control helped. I used a pool and gas and air towards the end but again didn't want it for the last bit. Would do that one again.

I was very surprised that the pain was all in the front and sharp, rather than achy in the back.

I really recommend JuJu Sundins Birth Skills by the way if you're not into visualising your happy place. There are some good techniques there- stamping and shouting I found very good.

Both times I had no preconceived ideas on what i would want (obviously you are limited with a HB but I could have transferred). I was lucky they were both short.

Definitely way less painful than I thought it would be! I loved my birth.

Oh there's a website called 'tell me a good birth story' which is worth a look. I think it's important a range of voices are heard- the crappier births and the better and the good- it supports better maternity care.

I Had ds in September and it was a fairly quick labour. By the time I got to hospital I was 10cms and no time for epidural or any serious pain relief.

I had zero pain relief. It felt like more pressure than pain. Gas and air after ds was born while stitching up.

I think that because I exercised until 8.5 months this helped. And because I had no expectations other than I was leaving hospital with a baby I just went with it.

Trust your body. It knows what to do. Go with it.

Another one here advocating hypnobirthing. I avoided it with my first, as thought it was a bit "alternative" and not based on any scientific evidence. My first birth was an induction, and contractions came on suddenly and very frequently and intensively. I struggled to cope, had an epidural, then things progressed v slowly and ended up with a forceps delivery and episiotomy. I found it all quite traumatic.

My second birth was incredibly quick, but no intervention necessary, and I was able to cope well with just gas and air.

For my third birth, I read a hypnobirthing book and practised the relaxation. I listened to the same music through headphones as we travelled to hospital and throughout the birth. It was great - I was in my own little world and coped really well. Best birth of the three, for sure.

It is absolutely true that pain levels are affected by position of the baby, interventions required, etc etc. But it is also scientifically proven that pain perception is affected by how relaxed vs scared you are. I highly recommend this book:

www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Hypnobirthing-Mindfulness-Techniques-Confident/dp/0091954592?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Good luck.

I didnt find it unbareable & Gave birth 4 times without pain relief.

I would take labour over a tooth abcess anyday.

I got to 5 cms then had a EMCS.

It wasn't that bad for me. I've had worse headaches. It was only 5 cms though.