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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Honest opinions on pain...

85 replies

nerofire63 · 24/03/2018 01:04

I know childbirth is different for every woman but one thing that has been in my head since my teens was PAIN! I am worried about it and it scares me. I am not even pregnant yet, only trying and I am worried.

I want honest opinions... On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is the pain?

OP posts:

Steeley113 · 24/03/2018 09:43

Felt like I was going to die both times. Off the scale painful. Still did it without pain relief though (mainly due to being incredibly quick labours). To me, it feels like being ripped open with a knife, awful pain. And each time I go through it, I’m surprised lol. But you get through it, with whatever pain relief you need and you’ll have your lovely baby at the end. It really is true that you ‘forget’ how truly painful it is (until those contractions start again next time)

RandomMess · 24/03/2018 09:45

I was induced 4 times for the first 3 I had an epidural, the last one honestly it was fine!!! I think the main difference was that I was just so much more relaxed about the whole thing - didn't care I was being induced, didn't care about Not getting my Home birth, didn't care baby would be huge, didn't care if it would be another 2 day event.... I just didn't want a baby that screamed 24/7 for 6 months like #3

Hellsbellscockleshells · 24/03/2018 09:45

I was extremely worried about the pain and whether I could cope with it due to my mother putting the fear of god into me when I was young.
Put it this way if it was so bad everyone would only have one child. I didn’t find it too bad. It’s a gradual build up of bringing your baby closer to you. I did yoga breathing and labored mainly in the birthing pool (as I am a fidget which I found very soothing). The pain does intensify significantly in the last few moments before the baby is out but it is very short lived. Put it this way as soon as I held my baby I wanted another immediately. Go with an open mind you may be very pleasantly surprised.

Hellsbellscockleshells · 24/03/2018 09:48

Both of mine were very long labours especially the first. But I had a natural births twice with only two paracetamols no other pain relief as I was as worried about the pain relief as I was about giving birth as I hate injections and none of them sounded very appealing.

Believeitornot · 24/03/2018 09:48

It didn’t hurt all the time. As long as I was comfortable then I could manage it.

Eg in the bath was not comfortable, in the car was not (because I couldn’t find the right position), but in a dark room with something firm to lean on was fine.

Worst bit was crowning!

misskatamari · 24/03/2018 09:48

I did hypnobirthing with both my labours and it was a huge help. Managed both with just gas and air and it was fine. Obviously it did hurt, but it was manageable, and I wasn't scared of the pain thanks to the techniques I'd learnt, and that really helps make things easier.

Babababababybel14 · 24/03/2018 09:51

It's a 10. But my epidural didn't work. Breathing does help though

GoldenBlue · 24/03/2018 09:52

I had an epidural with my older son but regret it as the pain wasn't intolerable at the point that I received it.

I used a tens machine with my next labour and it was fab. I delivered without feeling the need for additional pain relief. I had gas and air for stitches after. I felt much better after this labour so I thoroughly recommend this approach.

Both times I felt well enough to leave hospital within a few hours of delivery, so can't be too bad 😊

Good luck

userabcname · 24/03/2018 09:53

Ok - I found the pain horrendous. Worst pain of my life. I honestly really really struggled. I would definitely recommend an epidural (I didn't have one). But. I would do it all again in a heartbeat for my DS - honestly, he is so so worth it. I spent the first few months post partem so I could never go through it again but actually I do want another. I will definitely get an epidural though or possibly an ELC (which apparently I could have due to a traumatic first birth). Also, I have spoken to lots of women who found the pain much more manageable and some who were totally positive about the whole thing (clearly I am a wimp!) so you never know. I would go into it being very clear on your pain management methods and would also ask for pain relief before you feel you can't cope with it as it can take a while to get it administered.

Bellamuerte · 24/03/2018 09:53

Not everyone has the same level of pain. I gave birth to a huge baby who was coming out backwards and the pain was unbearable. But others don't necessarily experience such severe pain. Duration is a factor too - I coped for about 24 hours before it wore me down and I couldn't handle it any more. If you're worried just have an epidural - you'll feel nothing.

Notproudofthisone · 24/03/2018 09:55

Easy labour here, in and out same day, just paracetamol and gas and air for the stitches afterwards.
Best explanation of pain is one I’ve seen on here, like someone Chinese burning your butt. It’s a pain like no other, so you can’t explain it until you’ve been through it.
Genuinely don’t think, if the birth is straight forward, it’s that painful. I did it in the water and that helped.

stargirl1701 · 24/03/2018 10:07

2DC.

DD1 no pain at all. I assume she was in optimal position. Lots of pressure and a clear transition stage. She was born in a birth pool at a stand alone MLU.

DD2 needed G&A. Less optimal position? My mobility was very restricted during my pregnancy due to SPD. She was born on a birth mat at a stand alone MLU.

AvoidingDM · 24/03/2018 10:39

I'd rather give birth than have a burst appendix!

Honestly I wonder what people are comparing the pain with. With my first I had gas n air and a water birth. My second was induced with a pessary, 2 paracetamol 2 codine and a hot bath.

Babababababybel14 · 24/03/2018 13:21

Saying that I would rather give birth ten times then have to put up with the stitches afterwards. I had bloody 40 and every piss was agony

readyforapummelling · 24/03/2018 13:27

Hmm I had a back to back labour that lasted for 3 days.

The pain is off the scale but manageable if you know what I mean. I thought it was a different type of pain, just when I thought I couldn't take any more it all happened really quickly after that. When I was transitioning I remember telling the MW that I had had enough and was going home. They had to hold me on the bed.

By hook or by crook you will get through it, don't be afraid of asking for an epidural and leave all your options open. When I look back on labour now I don't think of how much pain I was in, I think of the minute DD was born and it is SO worth it. I would do it all again tomorrow so it can't be that bad.

Notlostjustexploring · 24/03/2018 13:27

You know that feeling when you bang your funny bone? That's the closest way to describe the pain. Except intensified somewhat.

I remember a moment of clarity during a contraction where I thought I couldn't possibly be in any more pain, only for the contractions to keep intensifying.

I had an epidural. Wonderful stuff.

If I hadn't, I am sure that I would have thought I was dying at some point, because I still had another 14 hours to go after reaching the above point.

I get so furious with anyone who tries to deny women adequate pain relief, or deny it might be necessary. We don't deny pain relief to the dying if required, also a normal part of life, why should we be denied for birth?

Hypermice · 24/03/2018 14:15

Honestly I wonder what people are comparing the pain with. With my first I had gas n air and a water birth. My second was induced with a pessary, 2 paracetamol 2 codine and a hot bath.

The pain is not one set level for all births. There are births that are perfectly aligned from the start, and manageable with breathing and paracetamol. There are births that will result in agonising, excruciating pain (for example an Occ-p presentation, back to back, pelvic outlet too narrow etc etc.) babies can get stuck, heads can press against pelvic areas and trap nerves... there are all sorts of things that can affect pain levels.

Birth can be anything from mild manageable pain to pain that is truly unbearable. It’s not a matter of them all being identical and some women just being stronger/weaker/doing better breathing excercises etc. It’s very individual.

It’s great you had simple births with little pain. Some women suffer unimaginably, and some are denied pain relief - it’s the only painful process we expect people to undergo and tut at them when they want painkillers. It makes me furious too notlost - it’s misogynistic crap.

TwigTheWonderKid · 24/03/2018 15:10

I had 2 babies without any pain relief whatsoever. I kept waiting for the pain to get really bad and it never did. For me it was really just like quite strong period pain. Except instead of having a period I was having a baby so I just welcomed each contraction as I knew each time I was getting a little bit closer to meeting my baby and to the end of the contractions.

I had done a lot of reading of books like Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth which present childbirth as a positive and normal thing and which gave me confidence that my body would know what to do. I suspect being in a state of fear really does not help the process.

However, had either of my babies been back to back etc I certainly would not have ruled out pain relief.

GreenMeerkat · 24/03/2018 17:55

Everyone is different. You can have some women that will say 'oh it's fine, I only had gas and air' but others (including me) that had awful, unbearably painful labours. You won't know until you get there, all I can say for sure is it will hurt, but how much depends on a number of factors.

I had the hormone drip for induction which is known for inducing excruciatingly painful contractions, so much so that midwives often suggest an epidural at the same time as the drip is attached. Unfortunately for me, the epidural failed and the gas and air and diamorphine made me sick so I had hormone drip contractions with zip pain relief and trust me it is NOT something I boast about like some women do. It was awful.

Get as much pain relief as you can!!! Do not be a martyr! You won't get a medal for it (no matter what the back patters say).

GreenMeerkat · 24/03/2018 17:59

AvoidingDM: well I'm pleased for you that you've had two straightforward labours with no complications. Not everybody is so lucky.

AvoidingDM · 24/03/2018 18:25

The point is people are frightening the Op, who's not even pregnant yet, with horror stories. Many people are saying it's agony, thought they were dying, seriously it is absolutely no where near the agony that I suffered with my Appendix. I can also imagine that there must be pains that are even more painful.

AvoidingDM · 24/03/2018 18:27

I should also add I had 2 second degree tears so my births weren't without issues.

MammaH2018 · 24/03/2018 18:29

The pain is intense but manageable. For me it was more of an intense and uncontrollable spasm/pain in my back passage with each contraction, had no control over it, just have to grit your teeth a breath through it. I felt an intense stinging sensation as the baby was crowning - and then he was out.

You can really imagine what it feels like until you go through it

WunWegWunDarWun · 24/03/2018 18:33

Good for you. FFS!

It's not a fucking competition about who has been in the worse pain and what causes the worst pain. People are giving their honest experiences (like the OP asked) and unfortunately, some people's experiences were fucking awful. You having bad pain with your appendix has nothing to do with my wishing I was dead, feeling like I was being ripped apart pain in my induced back to back labour. You implying that people are exaggerating is insulting and also extremely close minded. Your experience isn't the bench mark to everyone else's.

GreenMeerkat · 24/03/2018 18:37

WSS ^^

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