Petrified of vaginal birth!

[Kittykat93]

Hi everyone, this is my first post so please bare with me!!

I have been a lurker on mumsnet for many years but have made an account to post about this issue. Hopefully someone can help and/or tell me to get a grip !!

I am 18 weeks pregnant, and so happy. Pregnancy is going really well, supportive partner etc. There is one huge problem though, I have an absolutely awful fear of vaginal birth. Before I got pregnant I had told myself I could push the doctors for a cesarean and this is what I have always planned to do. (Please no bashing !!)

However, now I am actually facing the reality, I know that I need to be brave and do the right thing for the baby and this is to have a 'natural birth'. So although the thought terrifies me, I am going to try.

I don't really know what I'm hoping for by posting on here, maybe some postive stories of birth? I will definitely be opting for an epidural so also any experiences of that would be helpful. I have brought some books on childbirth and am too frightened to read them at the moment as it makes everything seem very real

Thanks for reading all

Thank you all for so many great responses! Lots of really useful advice here, I have decided to try hypnobirthing am just awaiting my dvd and book to arrive in the post :) I've also booked onto some antenatal classes nearer to the time. Interested in the pregnancy yoga too if it could help.

To those asking who told me vaginal birth was better for the baby, it was a consultant I saw. I'm consultant led because I have a bladder condition and I spoke of how worried I was about the birth especially with my bladder, and he told me in no uncertain terms we were going for vaginal birth as this was the best thing. So that put an end to that conversation! I didn't want to get upset and emotional so I just nodded my head and left feeling a bit silly !!

Thank u again to everyone who has shared their stories with me, it's helped me to see not all births are as traumatising and horrific as people keep telling me

Honestly all births are petrifying I think anyone who says they weren't terrified going into labour is fibbing a little.

But you will get through it, you will have support from medical staff and hopefully your birthing partner and you will also get a lovely baby at the end

My son is a year and I can hardly remember it now but I do remember crying about the prospect of labour while I was pregnant many times!

I haven't read read all the other posts on here and believe me, I'm not trying to be a scaremonger. I just want to be straight with you as noone told me any of this. I, like you had a big fear of natural birth. I just had this weird feeling that it wasn't meant for me and that it wouldn't end well...I wanted a c section and was sure of it. Once I started the process midwives convinced me everything would be fine. When I went over due...they said I'd be fine. I worried about bump size...you'll be fine. Requested a growth scan...you'll be fine. So I ploughed on. I had an unmedicated 18 hour labour with 2 hours of pushing a big baby (I'm small) Now where are these same midwives when I was left with an undetected 3rd degree test and triple prolapse? They are nowhere to be seen! I'm left managing all of these things with a 10 month old baby and my husband alone. I know ppl on here will kick off saying that it's highly unlikely and % chance of these things happening are minimal. But my point is they do happen, 2% is still 2% and when it's you it's happened to it's hard not to regret decisions. So many women want natural births and are gutted when they have c sections. I feel like if you're in the other camp (want c section) then push for it. It's no harm at all to the baby and your risk of pelvic floor isues are drastically reduced. I just wish someone had mentioned any of the issues I have to me before. I was a super fit and healthy 32 year old and never saw this coming.

Have you considered having some hypnotherapy for your fear of vaginal birth.

I have had a c section and a vaginal delivery and the c section was not an easier option for me at all. Labour does hurt but you know why you are in pain and that it will stop again in a relatively short period of time. Good luck OP.

"He told me in no uncertain terms we were going for vaginal birth as this was the best thing" for YOU.

C sections have more long term affects. I had an emergency one as pelvis was too narrow. My scar still gets really itchy, and an inch or two above and below is completely numb :( The wound was painful for weeks. I got an infection a week after I got home, which was horrible, and delayed it healing. Vaginal birth is scary and awful, but totally natural. Our bodies are usually made for it. A section is a serious, invasive operation.

Best of luck op

effects*

Tennis ball like head @zzzzzz ? Lucky you!! More rock like melon in my case!!