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Original poster

Thinking of having a sterilisation, has anyone ever regretted it??

94 replies

BobbieDog · 22/12/2016 20:42

So im 29 with dd who is 4 and currently pregnant with ds. Have been to see my consultant today about an elective c section which she has granted and i talked to her about sterilisation.

She has told me that they will do it whilst they do the c section if thats what i want but she has informed me that 1 in 3 people regret it. She has also explained that the nhs will not reverse it if at a later time i change me mind (very understandable).

My pregnancies have not been easy (awful SPD from 10 weeks pregnant with both) and dh does not want any more (he is 10 years old than me).

Dh has said he is scared of having problems after a vastectomy and doesnt feel he wants it done.

If i decide at a later date to be sterilised then it will be internal and not as straight forward as it would be if i had it at the time of the c section whilst everything is open and they can see exactly what they are doing.

The age limit has been lifted and there is now no minimum age at which a sterilsation can be done, its all down to personal choice whichever age you are.

So has anyone ever regretted it?

OP posts:
Original poster
BobbieDog · 26/12/2016 13:57

Polly

I can't understand why you can't be put forward for it

OP posts:
Original poster
BobbieDog · 26/12/2016 13:58

I don't really want periods if I'm honest certainly not heavy ones

OP posts:
madgingermunchkin · 26/12/2016 14:12

You will still have period if you are sterilised. You just won't be able to fall pregnant.

Original poster
BobbieDog · 26/12/2016 14:48

I know i will still have a period but i have read that it can cause women to have heavier one. Obviously you wont know until you have the procedure done how it has affected you.

We have just had a row. Hes not having the snip, he says its not up for discussion.

The only method of contraception now is condoms which hurt me. The ring at the bottom of them hurts so i wont use them.

Looks like a sexless marriage ahead.

OP posts:
Aoibhe · 26/12/2016 15:00

I've got 3 DC and during and for a year or so after each one, I was adamant that I didn't want any more DC. So it's not a decision I would make during or shortly after pregnancy.

Original poster
BobbieDog · 26/12/2016 15:04

I dont want the procedure done afterwards as its alot more tricky interally.

If i dont have it done at the c section then i will not go back to have yet another procedure done afterwards.

Why is contraception all a womans responsibility apart from condoms?

Its really pisses me off!

OP posts:
Aoibhe · 26/12/2016 15:10

A friend had a permanent procedure done and it was far less invasive than regular TL. I don't know much about it but it was called Essure if you want to google it

Yes but would you trust a man to take sole charge of contraception? I wouldn't Confused

sarahnova69 · 26/12/2016 15:11

Dh is worried about what will happen if he gets the snip and in 3 years time i want another baby so i leave him for someone who can give me one.

Your husband's excuses for not getting a vasectomy seem to change every 5 minutes. You aren't sure it seems so please don't do it. The driving force for no more kids seems to be him, so on no account get sterilised for his benefit. If he wants to be sure of no more kids, he can put his money where his mouth is and have the snip himself.

I think the Mirena sounds like your best bet - extremely reliable, no or minimal periods, instantly reversible should you choose.

Whatever happened to that method of male contraception where a dissolvable gel was injected into the epididymus? Were men too precious about their bits or is it just still stuck in testing?

Original poster
BobbieDog · 26/12/2016 15:15

I think he has a number of reasons rather than one set one reason.

He sees it as having surgery unnecessary i.e not life or death surgery.

OP posts:
Aoibhe · 26/12/2016 15:16

Actually, I've just done a quick Google and there are so many horror stories regarding the procedure I mentioned Shock

mudandmayhem01 · 26/12/2016 15:20

I know this sounds awful but I did consider this issue if suffered the terrible tragedy of a neo natal or cot death would I want the option of having another child at some point. Every baby is unique and precious but in reality many women who go through this do go on to have more children if they have fertile years left. Contemplating this isn't for everyone but I did think about this.

Original poster
BobbieDog · 26/12/2016 15:24

Mud

I have had the exact same thoughts too

OP posts:
Bubspub · 26/12/2016 15:30

I think the Mirena sounds like your best bet - extremely reliable, no or minimal periods, instantly reversible should you choose.

I completely agree with this. I promise I don't work for Mirena, but they're brilliant. It was only when I totally ran out of contraceptive options (due to migraines and permanent spotting on depot and tablets) that I considered the coil and it was one of the best things I've done. If you're looking for more permanence with your contraception but with a 'get out clause' if you unexpectedly change your mind, it might be worth considering.

Branleuse · 26/12/2016 15:35

I dont regret my sterilisation. Have never regretted it for a moment.

I think the one in three will also include people who have temporarily regretted it. My mum briefly regretted hers and tried to go for a reversal which was unsucessful, but She didnt seem particularly heatbroken about it not working, althoug i was a self absorbed teenager at the time so might not ave noticed.

I think you need to be sure. If youre not sure, then a coil is just as effective, maybe even more so

Japonicathehorseygirl · 26/12/2016 15:39

Would you consider mirena coil instead?

Original poster
BobbieDog · 26/12/2016 15:40

Theres two different types of coils isnt there?

I feel really pissed off about it all

OP posts:
Bubspub · 26/12/2016 15:48

Yes, copper and mirena. If you want to reduce periods go for mirena. Having said that, I didn't actually get a choice, I got what I was given (mirena), different gps might offer choice though. But I've always suffered from heavy, painful periods and spotting so I'm very thankful for the mirena. It's a very quick, low pain procedure and will safeguard your womb for five whole years! X

Branleuse · 26/12/2016 16:47

if he doesnt want the operation then thats ultimately his call. It would still have the same risks of regret as if you were sterilised, and thats what you were asking about.
If youre sure you dont want more kids, then its pretty easy to get it done at the same time as your section. No point two of you having an operation if you can get it done at the same time as your caesarian

Branleuse · 26/12/2016 16:48

sterilisation didnt make my periods heavy, Theyre much lighter than they were on the coil

madgingermunchkin · 26/12/2016 17:00

Have you made it clear to him that if he really is done with children then he needs to think of something to prevent them? Be it vasectomy or abstainance. If you don't want to go back on hormonal contraception then don't.

I'm all for compromises in relationships, but he won't even discuss it to come to a compromise so (being a stubborn, pig headed cow) I personally would give him the choice of snip or celibacy until he is willing to have a discussion about it.

expatinscotland · 26/12/2016 17:11

Okay, PLEASE be warned, Mirena is a disaster for about 10% of users. It's sold as the be all to end all - no side effects, no periods, but a look at their own leaflet tells you this is not true for everyone. And then you may find HCPs very reluctant to take it out or even refuse to remove it for 6 months or more whilst it 'settles'. And for some, it NEVER does. If you are the type who is highly sensitive to synthetic hormones, particularly progestin, then here's your grain of salt.

I suffered for 10 long months on that thing - constant bleeding even having been given Provera, NO sex drive, cystic acne and worst of all, utterly black mood. It never settled.

Research threads on here first.

PacificDogwod · 26/12/2016 17:19

True, expat (season's greetings to you and yours Thanks) - the problem is that nobody can predict whether an individual woman is going to be one of the unlucky 10% or one of the absolutely delighted 90%... Wink.
It does work and agree very well with those who do tolerate Mirena and has saved thousands of women from having hysterectomies.
But, yes, it can have considerable side effects and does not suit everybody.

Here's a vote for the copper coil - never had a problem with heavier periods on it either Grin

Having said all that, this is not about what method may or may not suit the OP the best.
It's about her H being a bit of a selfish wuss here IMO...

Mrsmadcatlady · 26/12/2016 17:33

I was sterilised with Filshie clips under GA for medical reasons. I had keyhole and the recovery was pretty quick. My local health authority will not sterilise during c sections as there is a higher risk of complications and if something dreadful was to happen then reversal isn't guaranteed. My experience is different, but I certainly wouldn't rush into anything right now. Almost 7 years later, I have the mirena coil for very heavy periods. I've always had heavy periods so it wasn't a surprise. I do suffer from monthly migraines but I did anyway. Had I not needed sterilising for my own health, I would have just plumped for the mirena coil and given it a chance. I did have the implant in my arm prior to this and I begged to have it out as it didn't suit.

Even though it is my body, my husband was very much involved. We had to discuss it rationally, almost without emotion to come to the best option for us. It is absolutely important that you have his 100% support, you may not be prepared for the feelings you get after you've had the procedure done.

OFFFS · 26/12/2016 17:57

Your DH sounds controlling.

It's completely unacceptable for him to put this entirely on you, take no responsibility, and refuse to even consider it further.

I'd be questioning the relationship.

OFFFS · 26/12/2016 18:00

"Dh is worried about what will happen if he gets the snip and in 3 years time i want another baby so i leave him for someone who can give me one"

This is not a reason to be sterilised. Will he leave you if you aren't? Does he really think that little of you?

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