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Childbirth

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Original poster

Thinking of having a sterilisation, has anyone ever regretted it??

94 replies

BobbieDog · 22/12/2016 20:42

So im 29 with dd who is 4 and currently pregnant with ds. Have been to see my consultant today about an elective c section which she has granted and i talked to her about sterilisation.

She has told me that they will do it whilst they do the c section if thats what i want but she has informed me that 1 in 3 people regret it. She has also explained that the nhs will not reverse it if at a later time i change me mind (very understandable).

My pregnancies have not been easy (awful SPD from 10 weeks pregnant with both) and dh does not want any more (he is 10 years old than me).

Dh has said he is scared of having problems after a vastectomy and doesnt feel he wants it done.

If i decide at a later date to be sterilised then it will be internal and not as straight forward as it would be if i had it at the time of the c section whilst everything is open and they can see exactly what they are doing.

The age limit has been lifted and there is now no minimum age at which a sterilsation can be done, its all down to personal choice whichever age you are.

So has anyone ever regretted it?

OP posts:

Original poster

BobbieDog · 23/12/2016 21:24

Wow 23 is very young to be sterilised!

OP posts:

JogOnKitty · 23/12/2016 21:27

I was sterilised when I was 25, after having 3dc. For me, it was without doubt the best thing I ever did. I felt completely in control of my fertility and I was adamant I did not want anymore children. I did have to discuss it with 3 different Dr's before they said yes, though.

YesThisIsMe · 23/12/2016 21:31

You don't sound sure enough.

Jecan · 23/12/2016 21:33

I was 32 after 3 DC & dont regret it for a second. I was done having children & even if dh & I had split up or he had died & I met someone else, I was sure I didn't want anymore & im still sure of that 10 years later. Yes dh could have had a vasectomy but it was me that was sure I didn't want to be pregnant again so I wanted to have the procedure. It is so freeing not to have to worry about contraception anymore.

dementedma · 23/12/2016 21:36

I was sterilised during my third c-section at 38.
Absolutely no problems and no regrets whatsoever.

SignoraStronza · 23/12/2016 21:36

I was sterilised at 35, during cs#3. Dh didn't want a vasectomy (fair enough, his choice - had valid concerns about possible side effects) so it seemed like the most simple and logical thing to do. I mentioned that I wanted this at my booking in appointment and at every one thereafter.

The actual registrar who arrived to do the cs (not my consultant) was a little perturbed, but afterwards when it went a bit pear shaped, remarked that I really shouldn't be having any more and it was for the best.

Two years on, absolutely no regrets at all. Occasional thought that dcs are so lovely (sometimes) its a shame I won't be having any more, but we barely have the space and money for the three we've got (dc1 isn't biologically dh's). Besides, am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Most of my friends all have slightly older dc and I do get envious of their ability to sit at a picnic bench and chat while the kids play, instead of having to follow them around or have eyes in the back of their heads.

Soozikinzi · 23/12/2016 21:53

I had the keyhole sterilisation at 38 with 5 sons and 1 stepson and have never regretted it. I didn't have trouble with my periods and have now finished the menopause.

Mrsmadcatlady · 23/12/2016 21:58

I was older, 35 years old when I had tubal ligation (after 2DC). Even though my consultant advised me to have it, I felt very bitter for a few years, especially when workmates got preggers. However, I'm fine with it now, and I don't regret it at all. My hubby and I had similar conversations- he wasn't keen on a vasectomy, and my reasoning was it was dangerous for me to get pregnant again but should something happen to me or if we split up, he could have children whereas I still wouldn't be able to.

YesThisIsMe · 23/12/2016 22:06

Yes MadCatLady, I think the posters who are saying that the DH should man up and take one for the team are ignoring the fact that the OP has very good medical reasons not to get pregnant again which would be unaffected by a breakup. However the OP doesn't sound sure enough.

Original poster

BobbieDog · 23/12/2016 22:14

Reasons i dont want another....

i dont want another SPD pregnancy
i dont want any more surgery
3 children means being limited car wise due to car seats
alot of things are centred around 2 adults and 2 children
i dont want to spend my life with piles of washing, ironing years and years of school runs.

Reasons for not not being 100% sure of a sterilisation..

im worried i may change my mind
it seems so final
anything could happen in the future regarding meeting other partners etc

OP posts:

WellErrr · 23/12/2016 22:17

I was sterilised during my third section earlier this year. I didn't want anymore and I couldn't have any more anyway due to the state of my uterus but it's still a bit sad. I was 29.

You don't sound sure - so don't have it.

I agree that you shouldn't have to take hormonal contraception if you don't want to. So it's condoms or a vasectomy.

His reasons for wanting you sterilised are slightly creepy too.

WellErrr · 23/12/2016 22:18

Also, I had bad SPD with first two, and not with third. It was weird but nice!

Bubspub · 23/12/2016 22:46

I don't have any advice to offer about sterilisation I'm afraid, but can highly recommend the mirena coil. I'm a massive wimp and can honestly say the pain to put it in was minor (about 3/10 on my pain scale!). It's a more long term solution to ensure no pregnancies but no way as drastic as sterilisation. And really lightens or totally gets rid of periods, bonus! Good luck x

KoolKoala07 · 23/12/2016 23:15

A friends OH had the snip before they met, having had children from previous relationship. Friend and her OH would now like a family but it's not happening meanwhile his ex has gone on to have more children. It's worth thinking about as nobody knows what around the corner. If you are sterilised and DH isn't and things don't work out in the future (as my friends situation above) he could go on to have more children, whereas you wouldn't be able to.

harrietm87 · 25/12/2016 10:24

Just to say I had the copper coil and it was great. It hurts for a few seconds having it put in (I haven't had children but I'm sure nowhere near as bad as anything you go through in pregnancy/birth) but then lasts for TEN years and is non hormonal so didn't affect my MH or sex Drive the way the pill did. Removing it took seconds and didn't hurt. Why don't you get that and postpone the decision for a while?

Original poster

BobbieDog · 25/12/2016 11:40

Is the copper coil the same as the mirena coil?

OP posts:

madgingermunchkin · 25/12/2016 11:52

It's a coil, but it's non hormonal.

madgingermunchkin · 25/12/2016 11:53

The copper kills the sperm (or so I've been told).

Side effects can include slightly longer heavier periods though.

harrietm87 · 25/12/2016 13:08

Mirena coil has hormones similar to the pill but the copper coil doesn't- I think the presence of copper alters the conditions in the womb to kill sperm and prevent implantation. My periods were a bit longer and heavier but were light and short to start with - went from 3 days light flow to 4 days medium flow. No more painful. I'd highly recommend it.

hopsalong · 25/12/2016 13:29

Yes, why not at least try the copper coil? I also hate mental side effects of hormonal contraception, and was really pleased with the coil I had fitted after DC1 (only for about a year though, because I wanted to get pregnant again). Was only a bit more uncomfortable than a smear to have it put in (took about a minute) and felt nothing having it out. Slightly heavier periods and a bit of spotting for first cycle, but really nothing to moan about at all. I will be having another one fitted after DC2 next year.

Original poster

BobbieDog · 25/12/2016 19:46

With the coil do you still have monthly periods?

OP posts:

Bubspub · 25/12/2016 20:02

With the mirena coil (small amount of local hormones) I get very light spotting occasionally. I know some people get nothing at all. I had the contraceptive injection and that made me feel quite crazy but I feel fine with coil x

harrietm87 · 26/12/2016 10:18

With copper coil you have periods as normal. They can be longer and heavier than before (main downside of the copper coil) but everyone is different. As I said, mine hardly changed.

Pollyxcx · 26/12/2016 10:23

I'm desperate to be sterilised and they won't refer me because of money.

It's actually a huge issue for me, can't take hormones because of MH issues, copper coil means I can't leave the house for 48hrs every month because of flooding periods.

I'm desperate to be sterilised!

PlayingGrownUp · 26/12/2016 10:25

I'm adamantly childfree and am a member of a few groups. I'd agree if he doesn't want any more kids then he gets snipped. Don't do it unless you are absolutely certain as female sterilisation is a lot harder to reverse.

And I say that as someone who was sterilised in my early 20s.

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