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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Sending you home in labour

23 replies

NickyEds · 10/07/2015 13:25

I'm now 39+3 weeks pregnant with dd (already have a ds who's 18 months). We've had to have weekly/fortnightly scan since I was about 25 weeks, initially because ds was small (6lb5) and then because dd was measuring under the 10th centile. Because of her size we were pretty much told that I might need to be induced early. Also she was breech at every scan up to 36 weeks. So all in all I genuinely thought I'd end up either being induced or with a planned section.

Baby's grown beautifully and turned so now I've been "allowed" to go to term and I'm now just freaking out about having to give birth! My main question is when do you go to hospital? With ds my waters broke first and they were bloody so I had to labour in hospital so didn't have this. The guidelines say when contractions get to every 3 minutes but that feels really late. I'm having nightmares about not coping with the pain, going to hospital (which is between 15-30 minutes away depending on the time of day-also we'll be in a taxi) and being turned away.

OP posts:

Beeswax2017 · 10/07/2015 15:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wisteria1979 · 10/07/2015 15:34

I had the same fear with both of mine. Dc1 was a busy taxi journey through London and was dreading having to go home. Just about scraped being allowed to stay at 4 cm. stay at home as long as you can manage - and when you ring them in labour if they are good they will be able to assess over the phone how far gone you are and if you are ok to come in. I had very irregular contractions with Dc2 and was convinced they wouldn't let me stay but was in so much pain I thought I'd go in and ask for something stronger than paracetamol.... Was then prepared to walk laps around the car park or sit in the car until it was time. There are ways to manage pain at home, bath, tens etc. none worked for me but I know lots of people saying that took the edge off it.

surroundedbyblondes · 10/07/2015 15:40

When I had DD2 I had the same worry. I was in hospital when I went into labour with DD1 so didn't have to manage on my own at all. As it turns out with DD2, the time organising GPs to come over for DD1 and then drive to hospital I was actually 8cm on arrival so they took me pretty seriously!

Iguanaleader · 10/07/2015 15:42

I was sent home in Labour twice on a 40 minute bus ride.

MomentOfWonder · 10/07/2015 15:48

One midwife told me that if your first baby is born vaginally then with a second you'd be looking at coming in when contractions were regular, not waiting until 3 mins apart, as second labours can be faster. But others told me different and it depends how you gave birth the first time it seems. Could you speak to a midwife at your next appointment/on the maternity helpline if your hospital has one to put your mind at rest? Hope all goes really well.

Notso · 10/07/2015 16:06

With my first two I had to go to hospital at the first twinge due to possible complications from medication I was taking.
For DC3 I waited until the contractions were so painful I couldn't move or talk when I was having one, they were about 5 mins apart. He was born about 20 mins after I arrived there.
For DC4 I only had 4 contractions ten mins apart and then he was born at home caught by a surprised DH and a paramedic! The horrible MW on the phone had told me I should know by DC4 that ten mins apart wasn't full blown labour
With 3 and 4 my waters broke hours before any contractions started so I initially went in to be checked over then was sent home with an induction time for the following morning if nothing kicked off by itself. I found it was the intensity of the contractions that told me I should be in hospital. If you can time it when you phone up that you have a pain then they can get an idea over the phone.

HappyIdiot · 10/07/2015 16:17

my problem was that I was having very irregular contractions so I wasn't sure how I was progressing. I stayed at home for about 15 hours but by that point I just wanted to know where I was in terms of dilation. so I went in (thankfully a fairly straightforward car journey) prepared to be sent home again but I was 5cm so they kept me in. dd didn't make an appearance for another 18 hours but that's a whole different story...

33goingon64 · 10/07/2015 17:03

I think you have a right to stay if you want. They can't force you to leave. My first came within 6 hours of first contraction so I won't be listening to anyone who tries to send me home for DC2.

Original poster

NickyEds · 10/07/2015 18:09

I won't be having anymore routine appointments as I'm 39+3, just a stretch and sweep at 41 weeks. The hospital have just said to go in when contractions get to every 3 minutes which seems so arbitrary. I've been hearing so many stories of babies being born on bathroom floors. Surely it would be better to say to go in when you want more pain relief??
With ds my waters broke and were bloody. I went into labour more or less straight away but had to labour at the hospital. They examined me after around 11 hours and I was 3cm so they transferred me to the labour ward(they just wanted me off the post natal ward as it was getting late). The thing is that a couple of hours later I was ready for some gas and air but was still only 3cm and contracting every 6 minutes so I think that had I not laboured in hospital they would have sent me home. It's that I'm worried about. I ended up being augmented with the drip and ds was back to back. It was agony and I'm really quite scared of the pain this time.

OP posts:

Lonz · 10/07/2015 19:21

This happened to my sister twice. They sent her home, then she got as far as the car park before going back and was nearly ready to give birth. Second time, her waters broke, she went to the hospital but they sent her back down to her own hospital that was nearly 3 hours away (she was visiting and didn't have her notes!) and was having contractions down the motorway! Surely that's not right...

I held on until my contractions were a few minutes apart then when I got in it was a few hours until my son was born.

MomentOfWonder · 10/07/2015 20:34

I was very nervous second time round as first time my waters broke but nothing happened so I needed augmentation - was very aware that I didn't know what early labour 'should' feel like so probably not assertive enough when speaking to the hospital. However, when they asked if the contractions were taking my breath away I gave a resounding yes and they said I should come in - hope that might be helpful! Baby was born about half an hour after we got to hospital.

MissCalamity · 10/07/2015 22:23

I was nervous about this when pregnant with DC2. With DC1 I was told after my waters broke to come up to the hospital in the next hour, which I duly did. They stuck me on a monitor, didn't examine me & sent me home. I was in horrific pain by the time I got back home & had to get DP to call back saying I was coming back in, they were reluctant. I got back to the hospital two hours after I left & was 7-8cm, so I'm pretty certain I must have been in labour when I got sent home!
With DC2 my contractions when from 10 mins apart to 4 mins quite quickly so I wasn't messing about, when I got to the hospital they told me I was only 3cm and normally they would have sent me home, I told them no way & DC2 was born two hours later.

I'd definitely stay on the hospital premises if they were instant on sending you home, but I seriously doubt they could do that?!

thank god I'm not planning a third

AugustRose · 10/07/2015 22:45

It can be difficult for you to decide but if you feel you need to go then just go, as 33goingon64 they can not force you to leave. I understand hospitals need to have guidelines for dealing with labouring women but sending home a worried mum is not a good idea.

You need to talk to your MW in advance and have any worries listed in your notes - I know you say you don't have any more routine appointments but just phone the MW and ask her for a home visit to talk about it or go in and ask them to write in your notes. You need to be as comfortable as possible when the time comes, hopefully everything will go to plan but know that you have the right to stay.

nemo81 · 11/07/2015 07:49

With one of mine (my 8th) my contractions were every 7 mins all the way through. I got sent home due to this despite having previous quick labours. Baby was born at home!

Seffina · 11/07/2015 08:12

I got sent home twice in my first labour. For my second, I planned a homebirth and was so worried about not being far enough along that I put off ringing the MWs for ages. DS turned up 15 minutes before the MW arrived

GuybrushThreepwoodMightyPirate · 11/07/2015 20:09

DD2 would have been born in the car on the way home if they'd sent me back at 5cm! She was a 40 minute labour. This is after DD1 whose back to back labour was a full 36 hour job.

Stay home as long as you're comfortable and don't be fobbed off if you feel like things are moving quickly.

TychosNose · 11/07/2015 20:18

I think they'll let you stay if you really want to but labouring at home is usually less painful than in the hospital so things might not be as bad as you fear.

Original poster

NickyEds · 11/07/2015 20:18

Born at home and a near miss in the back of a car! You lot aren't helping!!. I hope she decides to arrive soon but I'm still very worried about this. The mw weren't very nice at all when I had ds and I really wouldn't be surprised if they did tell me off and send me home. I think I'm going to give my community mw a call on Monday. I wasn't sure if i was supposed to have a 40 week appointment anyway?? The consultant has transferred me to mw-led care now but I'm not due to see them until a stretch and sweep at 41 weeks.

OP posts:

RaaRaaTheLion · 11/07/2015 20:25

Mine never got to 3 minutes apart at home, but they got more intense. I rang the hospital to be told that I'd be turned away because there was 'no way' I would be over the 4cm needed to stay - I went anyway, and turned out to be 7cm but a little pocket of remaining waters was stopping my contractions from getting closer. The examination soon sorted that out

RaaRaaTheLion · 11/07/2015 20:26

Oh I meant to stay, I stayed at home until I physically couldn't take the pain and a bath no longer eased it. I think you'll know your own body

Original poster

NickyEds · 11/07/2015 20:36

I really hope so RaaRaa.

OP posts:

SweepTheHalls · 11/07/2015 20:42

I went in when I couldn't cope with the pain anymore, planning to do the same with DC3

applecore0317 · 13/07/2015 20:55

mine were immediately 2-3 minutes apart, she was born five hours later. My MW told me either to wait until they were 2-3 minutes apart or if I had reached a stage where I myself felt I needed to go in.

I remember trying to stay at home lomger convinced I would get sent home, but had a feeling that I was far enough along and insisted on going in. I was examined and was thankfully 5cm.

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