UK fight for Caesarean section

[Buttercup28]

Hey ladies

I'm just wondering if anyone could give me some advice and/or success stories of your fight for a caesarean in the UK please?

I have an underlying medical condition which my OB says is not as risky as a c section. However my gut instinct is taking over and I want to be super safe by having this section.

My husband and I have decided to push for a c section due to this underlying medical condition, we think it best all round and more so for the baby.

Well my anxiety about it has been through the roof. I am 25 weeks.

I had an appointment with the obstetrician to discuss this last week.

In a nutshell I was a total emotional wreck and could not stop crying.
Therefore I couldn't put my thoughts and concerns across as much as I should have been able to.

She suggested I was depressed (I am not!) I'm just extremely anxious about the birth due to medical reasons.

She wants me to have a vaginal birth and there was no telling her otherwise.

She said if I see someone about my "depression" then I will have a clearer head as will understand why they want me to have a vaginal birth!!!! I couldn't be more clear on anything else in my life!!

So I have emailed Birth Rights to ask them for help with regards to my next steps.

Since the OB appointment, I have requested to be seen by an OB who is more sympathetic to my medical condition and my overwhelming anxiety that has developed over this. I have emailed PALS at the hospital as I believe the OB did not follow the NICE guidelines.
A supervisor of midwives has scheduled in an appointment with me on Monday to discuss my requirements and concerns re caesarean.

I also had my general 25 week midwife appointment a few days ago. She read the notes and was horrified by what the OB had said. She is 110% behind me with my reasons and agrees a c section would be best.

So I had my appointment today with the birthing reflections midwife at the hospital today.

It was ok, just as I expected. She told me the c section risks and then I spoke about my concerns etc.

She understands my concerns and even said she would feel like how I feel.

However, she isn't confident I will get my section. She said they never do cs on maternal request and that my underlying medical condition wasn't enough risk to warrant the section!!!

If the underlying condition effected my baby, it could be fatal. I am not willing to take that risk.

On top of this, my anxiety is through the roof..really bad.

I have a meeting with he lead obstetrician next Tuesday but she doesn't think it will be granted.

I am so stressed, anxious and upset. I don't know where to turn.

I have 2 good reasons to request this c section and I don't feel anyone is taking me seriously.

Ladies that were granted their section due to anxiety, can I ask how your process was and which hospital it was at?

Thank you

P.s Applogies for any typos I'm on my phone!

Nope a lot of C section are unnecessary and the OP would be MA to have one if there is no medical reason for it.

I am 51 but if I got pregnant I would never go to hospital to have a baby. I would have it at home,

The community midwifes at my hospital all support home birth and they said yes it does not matter if you are an older mum. They tell me they are happy to deliver a baby at home even if you are in your late 40's or 50's as long as everything is normal. And even if it's not it's your choice, you don't have to go to hospital. If you don't believe me read the AIMS website-
www.aims.org.uk/hbchoose.htm

The Op is asking questions re an elcs....

I don't believe she is looking at a home birth....unless I've missed something up thread.

What is it with people?

Are you so obsessed with your own opinions and agenda you can't even work out what is an appropriate thread to post your opinion on?

The OP doesn't want a discussion. She wants advice.

And so, most politely, Dolly and Wahiki - fuck off, dears.

Look Dolly, your pro VB agenda is pretty obvious. Glad you've "looked it up". Was it in the same textbook that says c sections should only be carried out when the mother's life is at risk?

It's pretty obvious that Buttercup's wish for a c section is more complex than being about her herpes status alone. If she doesn't want to have a vaginal birth she genuinely doesn't have to.

I asked for a cs second time around and not for a particularly strong medical reason (ds1 was big, induced delivery with foreceps and a third degree tear - fantastic "natural birth". Oh and tongue tie and lactose intolerance doesn't help with bf if as is the case your HV doesn't give a monkey). My midwife said she would support me 100% and if the consultant said no she would help me get a second consultant who would agree. At my 34 week scan the consultant said no, I said I wasn't prepared to risk another tear leading to incontence and slow recovery again, and the consultant got the diary out. Oh and my elcs was a fabulous thing, the recovery was far shorter than the tear which I was still seeing doctors for a year later, and I was so relaxed about the whole thing I'm sure it helped with the bf despite another tongue tie.

If you midwife is supportive I'd explore options with her. She will understand the system.

What thurlow said.

I have a c section suggested after traumatic birth.

Junior doctor ( male) attempted to persuade me to change my mind. I went slighly bat shit. The midwife was smiling away and nodding when I was shouting asking if he'd even read my notes.

Insist on one, you have been through enough, let it be easy they we you that.

They owe you that.

Well no doctor in their right mind should do a c Section unless there is a valid medical reason for it. It's like me saying I want to have my womb taken out (hysterectomy) when there is nothing wrong with me.

Why does the OP want a C section? Is she scared of childbirth? If that's the case then she Shouldn't have gotten pregnant.

Talking of birth the OP does not even have to go to hospital. She can have the baby at home and if she wants to get an independent midwife if she's not happy with the NHS ones. Is this her first baby?

Well it makes no difference as you can have your first baby at home if you want to.

I've read some utter bollox on here lately but this really really takes the

How awful that you're not being listened to! You have valid reasons for
needing a cs, but aren't women supposed to be able to choose one now? If your medical team are ignoring your wishes, maybe you need to put in a formal complaint and request new carers.

And to counteract some of the utter bollocks on this thread (eg wahikiiswhereiwanttobe, woodychip and dollybarbs), I had an emcs with my little girl and was back to normal within 4 days. Seriously. As in pain free (although I was quite stiff), taking long walks and back in normal clothes. A cs affects everyone differently. You don't get a medal for vb and a cs doesn't impair bonding or bf.

Good luck and I hope you damn well get what you want.

and for lucy and cheese

Sorry to hear that you are so worried, Buttercup.

AFAIK you should not have to 'fight' for whatever mode of delivery - you may have to be able to back up your choice and be able to demonstrate that you have considered the risks and benefits of VB vs elCS rather than just saying you'd prefer one or the other.

Your OP sounds really, really anxious and rather confrontational; apologies if I misread this.

VB with maternal genital herpes carries risks - CS carries risks: both for mother AND child.
I think you need to be clear in your own mind what exactly those risks are and not have a knee-jerk reaction towards 'baby cannot come out this way, must be CS'.

Having said that I can entirely understand your fears.

I think resolving this is all entirely about good communication with your consultant. If you find you cannot 'gel' with him/her, then why not ask for a second opinion or see somebody else, even consider another hospital if that is a possibility?

I was fully prepared to 'fight' for my preferred option of delivery for my DS3 and attended my appointment with my consultant fully 'armed' with evidence to back up my case only to have him give me the choice - he was entirely happy to go with my preferred option.

Is there any way that you can address your anxiety to enable you to be assertive without actually fighting with anybody?
Hypnobirthing might be a good idea as well - not to aim for labour and VB but to help you relax for the rest of your pregnancy.

Dolly, I wish you would take your agenda elsewhere.

Please try and find some empathy for those of us who choose to have a CS, sometimes after devastating experiences.

Are you really suggesting after losing a baby, and having two dreadful 'natural' births, my fear meant I should not have another child?

I would support anyone to have a home birth if they wanted one but that is not what this thread is about.

Well I think the OP is MAD to want a C Section when she does not need one and thee is no medical reason for it. She may say she wants it now but she will regret it later when she realizes that it was all for nothing and she did not need it as she could have given birth naturally. And she will have a scar on her tummy for nothing.

Where to start with your fantastically ignorant post dolly.

Where does op say she wants a home birth?

So people who are anxious about birth should refrain from getting pregnant? That's quite a statement. Is mental health not a valid medical reason for requesting a section? Perhaps you know a lot more about this than NICE, who do think mental health is a valid medical reason.

Why are you even posting on this thread? To kick OP while she's feeling anxious and afraid. Oh, and pregnant. Shame on you.

DollyBarbs, you are coming across as a dreadful human being.

"Treatment and care should take into account women's needs and preferences"

From NICE guidelines

Can I ask where you are from? The US?

Dolly

Could we all keep our personal agendas out of this thread please?
And remember that a worried mother to be posted the OP??
FFS.

Dolly, you are on a thread where people have shared their experiences of losing babies and you post that! You are either a troll, or a disgusting excuse for a human being.

I don't believe we live in Victorian times any more. How many women died in childbirth back then? Is that "the way it should be done"??

"Why does the OP want a C section? Is she scared of childbirth? If that's the case then she Shouldn't have gotten pregnant."!

Are you deliberately trying to be provocative and offensive or is that just your natural way of dealing with people?

Good grief, that last sentence did not even make any sense.

Worried woman posted the OP - lets try and support her.

My personal elcs was amazing.... I had the birth of my choice and guess what....bonded amazingly with my dc and 4 years on no 'tummy scars'

I respect a woman's Choice for her birth preferences ....maybe some some empathy rather than narrow minded ill formed personal opinions would be helpful for the Op.