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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

How soon after birth did you allow visitors?

66 replies

Bigoldsupermoon · 10/10/2014 16:47

I'm currently waiting for my first born to arrive, and I'm just wondering about people visiting after the birth.

Obviously it depends on how everything goes/whether I'm in hospital or at home/how long it all takes, but I'd be interested to know your experiences - how soon did you have visitors, and would you do the same again?

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Bunbaker · 10/10/2014 16:50

My sister travelled 250 miles to see me in hospital the following day. I was chuffed to bits as it is a horrible drive. A workmate visited me in hospital the next day as well. Again, I was really pleased.

Once we got home we didn't get any visitors for a couple of weeks, then MIL came to stay for a week. It was absolutely fine. I had a handful of visitors over the net few weeks, but nothing overwhelming, but we don't have family near and don't have masses and masses of friends.

lunar1 · 10/10/2014 16:51

I was at the hospital, both sets of parents were there after about an hour. But they had a 10 min cuddle each then disappeared. We invited them to come and they were not intruding in any way. If we thought they would be a pita then we wouldn't have let them come so soon.

Bartlebee · 10/10/2014 16:53

I was discharged 5 hours after having ds, and when I got home, my house was full of visitors

rocketjam · 10/10/2014 16:58

It depends on how many visitors you are talking about and who. I was very happy and pleased to have my best friend visiting me in hospital the day after my c section as I knew that she would be really helpful and understanding if I'd just want to shut my eyes and have a nap whilst she looked after DS. I was very happy to have my parents in law see their first grandchild on day 2 - it was beautiful. I wouldn't dream of having said to them 'sorry no visitors and that's that'. However, I did say to other friends and family to wait a week until I was on my feet before coming over. It is so precious to hold a new born baby, I wouldn't have said no to close family and friends. But if you have a large expended family who all want to come on day two, then you are entitled to tell them to come a bit later or not in a large group!

MirandaWest · 10/10/2014 17:00

With DS he was born at 2:50am and I wasn't in a great way afterwards but perked up a bit with visitors in the afternoon.

With DD she was born at 1:30pm and I had visitors in afternoon visiting time.

I loved showing off my newborn babies both times

magpiegin · 10/10/2014 17:00

I had a c section and had visitors after about a week.mwe have no local family so no one could just pop in.

Artandco · 10/10/2014 17:04

No one came for a week. We live miles from any family so had arranged for the weekend after they were due to allow to time kept in/ long labour. As with distance they would be staying a good few hours rather than 10mins

Ds1 was born fri night, family came following sat, ds2 was born sun morning, family also came following sat.

We all went out to restaurants both times so preferred having few days to settle first, then nice meals out/ dressed up

Thurlow · 10/10/2014 17:06

DD was born at 1am, my parents came when visiting hours started at 2pm. I would happily have had them come earlier. ILs didn't come for another few days but they lived further away.

But like others, I didn't care how I felt, I was so excited about having a newborn and wanted everyone to see how amazing they were and tell me how amazing I was too

Original poster

Bigoldsupermoon · 10/10/2014 17:14

Ahh, loads of lovely positive stories!

OP posts:

MrsMinton · 10/10/2014 17:17

Home birth at 5am and my best friend came round at 1pm for cuddles and a cuppa. I sat in bed in my pjs like a queen being bought tea and it was lovely

StrumpersPlunkett · 10/10/2014 17:18

DS1 was born at 5pm at home, we had my parents here the next morning
DS2 was born at 12 ish at home and We were so excited to show him off that I made a cake and invited our neighbours (they are good friends) in for a cuppa and to apologise for me forgetting to close the window!

However, we didn't have overnight visitors for a few weeks as I wanted to be free to wander round in the middle of the night with my boobs hanging out

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 10/10/2014 17:18

DD born 4am Monday and I had visitors at both of that days visiting hours (2-3 & 6-7) plus a friend who works in the hospital snuck through about noon for a quick cuddle. Visitors were both mine and dhs parents and our siblings, plus my aunt and her son.

Home Tuesday teatime, had visitors that evening - extended family - who stayed about an hour or so. We live a few doors down from my mum so she popped in every day, but would get miffed if dd was asleep - errrrr she is days old. she is always asleep!

RiverTam · 10/10/2014 17:20

my mum, aunty, sister and cousin visited while I was in hospital. We were in for 5 days so it was lovely to see someone other than DH!

mrsmilkymoo · 10/10/2014 17:23

Dd was born by emcs on Sunday morning, and we didn't have any visitors until my parents arrived on the following Monday, so for a week it was just the three of us. We have no family nearby and I didn't want anyone else seeing dd before my parents did.

LizzyLizard · 10/10/2014 17:26

Totally depends how the birth goes, how much your fanjo is hurting, making no bones about it, and also how bf is going (if that's what you choose). I had cystitis for ages after DC3 and didn't want to see anyone.

With the other 2 I found the first week or two I was so ecstatic that I was thrilled to have visitors, it was after that I wanted everyone to F off.

Littlebluebutterflies · 10/10/2014 17:26

In the hospital and as soon as we got home (close family only).

My aunts and friends came after about a week but everyone that came was lovely.

Babiecakes11 · 10/10/2014 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notso · 10/10/2014 17:37

Once we were out of the delivery suite. It never crossed my mind to restrict visitors.

The only time I got annoyed was when DC3 was a week old it was my 30th and DH was cooking me my favourite meal. We had just sat down when all his siblings and their spouses turned up and woke DS up.

domesticslattern · 10/10/2014 17:39

It's less how soon they come and more how long they stay!

squizita · 11/10/2014 18:27

My parents the next day (low, low stress- just popped in and saw the baby) but no one else for a week.

meglet · 11/10/2014 18:34

EMCS with DC1 - within hours . Lots in the first week and they stayed too long. XP's family really overstepped the line. I'm still upset about it 8yrs on TBH issues. It ruined bf and left me feeling vulnerable.

Planned CS with DC2 - I e-mailed everyone and said I didn't want visitors. With the exception of my family popping their head around the door to help with toddler DC1 we were left alone. I was on the sofa mainlining biscuits with my boobs out in peace . Bf was a dream and my recovery was easier.

justmuddlingalong · 11/10/2014 18:35

In-laws were at the hospital waiting whilst I was in labour. As I was brought into the post natal ward, they were right behind me. They were so excited, bless 'em.

ithoughtofitfirst · 12/10/2014 10:57

with DS was absolutely bombarded with visitors all that day and then next day and then people were practically waiting in our drive when we arrived home. I didn't really mind having visitors but I really felt like c'mon people give us some space.

With this one due next weekend I have sent round a text saying that we want a full day and night just the 4 of us before people come round. I don't mind after that. Although I'm fully anticipating people completely ignoring our request!

MrsN1984 · 12/10/2014 12:31

I've said to our families that when we first one home, I'd like it to just be the three of us for the first day to settle in - 9 months of waiting for this little person to arrive and id like to get my bearings. They are all fine with my request. My parents aren't local anyway

BaffledSomeMore · 12/10/2014 12:39

With no. 1 my parents and MIL came to the hospital 5 hours after an uncomplicated birth. That was good.
FIL visited the next day at home. Expected to be waited on hand and foot and insisted we open and drink the bottle of champagne he had bought at 11am. I hadn't slept in 48 hours and was trying to get to grips with bf. That was bad.

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