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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Is childbirth like doing a poo in public???

92 replies

Morningnewspaper · 17/09/2006 10:12

My first baby is due in December and I am now utterly convinced that childbirth is like doing a poo / having a dump in public. Is this true??? Not being used to doing this sort of thing with an audience, could throw my style off a bit. Is this the case and do you have any advice???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hulan · 21/09/2006 15:37

I agree with all who say you don't give a figs behind. My dh and friend were present for the birth and dh now tells me that the entire room wasn't smelling too pleasant . But my MW was wonderful and just kept cleaning me like it was normal, which it is.

alibag · 21/09/2006 15:59

Labouring at home with DS2 I had 3 urgent visits to the loo which, ahem, cleared me out prior to DS2's arrival... With DS1 the MW did tell me to push like I was doing a poo and that really is how it feels and where to focus the effort.... (I was more worried that during transition I would reveal to DH hitherto unheard vocabulary)

Lio · 21/09/2006 16:19

and talking of poo, might be worth doing one at the time as you may well be scared to afterwards due to fear of falling apart

Scoobydooooo · 21/09/2006 16:23

Blimey if only it was like going for a poo in public

I never pooed with either of my labours but to describe it i would say it's like pooing a pineapple out your bum

ginmummy · 21/09/2006 16:23

And peeing after you've given birth vaginally hurts like buggery too. I only had a couple of stitches for tiny grazes and it felt like I was pissing razor blades! If you can find one try having a wee on a bidet with a gentle fountain aimed at your vagina.

Spidermama · 21/09/2006 16:23

If you wee in the bath it doesn't hurt.

ginmummy · 21/09/2006 16:30

Aye, I was told that too but you can't run a bath every time you need a wee. Saying that I didn't have a bidet either so I just winced and bore it!

clemsterdarcy · 21/09/2006 19:02

Now I'm being v brave here ... and honest ... first pregnancy, due date TODAY ...

What about those of us suffering from pregnancy piles ... aaaaah not worried about doing a poo, am freaked out about DH and all and sundry witnessing a colonic crawl-out of the haemerrhoid variety.

Should I be worried? Do piles make the poo worse? Does giving birth makes the piles worse?

Is this one of those chicken/egg questions ...

Am I a noodle to be more worried about people seeing my piles than my punani?

alexsmum · 21/09/2006 19:05

ime the midwife holds a cotton wool pad over your anus while you are pushing in order to hold things i think/assume.
don't worruy about ti honestly.i know it seems massive now but really once you are in labour and at the pushing satge-it will be the furthest thing from your mind.

mousiemousie · 21/09/2006 19:06

No need to worry as you truly will not care about any indignity once you get going.

A good legacy is that afterwards you will be much more blase about indignities in general which makes life easier.

The number of indignities increases once you become a mother so this is quite fortunate.

samnbabes · 21/09/2006 19:17

he he - bet we've well and truelty put the sh*ts up any first timers out there!!

Clemency - had piles with my second - didn't notice them sliding out - and they went away v quickly after the birth.

I smugly said to dh after the first one 'well at least I didn't poo everywhere' ... he set me straight on that one - I truly hadn't noticed ... too busy mooing like a cow...

Oh, and a mate of mine swore by a squirty drinking water bottle as a home-ade (and portable) bidet

kittywits · 21/09/2006 20:13

I knew when I'd pooed every time. It bothered me and it was smelly. I didn't care about the world looking up my fanny, but I cared about the poo, strange but true.

kittywits · 21/09/2006 20:15

Yeah, piles can get worse after the birth, just shove' em back in and use some prep H!!

morningpaper · 21/09/2006 20:35

DOH this isn't ME by the way

I've had two babies

about 10 lbs of poo each time

LadyTophamHatt · 21/09/2006 20:44

It would only be like doing a poo if you were a mouse trying to poo an elephants poo.

(BTW i didn't poo during the birth either, but did spend almost the whole duration of the labout sitting on the loo shitting for england. Fortunatley by the time the baby was ready to appear my insides were stripped bare)

corblimeymadam · 22/09/2006 09:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

clemsterdarcy · 09/10/2006 13:45

Ok -- so I gave birth for the first time 9 days ago.

It is like bein constipated -- which doesnt really HURT just uncomfortable/odd. What I advise is you just say to yourself 'ok this is a psychological barrier, but the midwifes really don't care .. let's just go for it' ... I gave myself a talking to and then 8 minutes and 6 mighty pushes later ... out she popped ... and it really DIDN'T hurt like I was afraid of ...

You'll be fine ... and so the heck what if you poo ... you'll deliver the most adorable, wonderful creature and all your fears, embarrassments and concerns WILL melt away ... and you know what your partner will think you are just awesome.

And YOU ARE x

DontCallMeYummy · 10/10/2006 12:07

As this is the kind of place where such questions can be asked... if you have a water birth and do a poo - what happens to it? Do the midwives have a special 'poo net' to fish it out with? Do any of you ladies have first hand experience with unexpected floating devices?

perplexed · 10/10/2006 12:24

Yeah they have a fish net, They don't comment just discreetly fish it out.

DontCallMeYummy · 10/10/2006 12:35

AAAAGGGGHHHHH! So much for the beautiful serene water birth I had planned in my head. In that cae I hope it's true that your shame factor plummets to sub-zero during labour. Wow, you spend your whole life being mortified if you so much as parp on the bus then you get wheeled into the delivery suite and let it all go, public nudity, unladylike screaming, crapping on the floor - roll on February...

themoon666 · 10/10/2006 13:07

Your dignity goes out of the window with the first few contracts tbh.

I remember a medical student being in the room and midwife saying 'do you mind if this lady has does an internal on you for practice?'

My response was 'I don't care if half of bloody Lincolnshire want to form a queue to look up me fanny, just get this baby out NOW!'

ediemay · 10/10/2006 13:20

@ themoon, at one satge during the 17 Act comedy which was my labour, 2 paramedics on training turned up, but got bored and left after a few hours!!

ProfessorGrammaticus · 10/10/2006 13:38

Hi Baretoes. I pooed. At least I think I did (didn't care much) . I think the MW sort of whisked it away with a thing like a washing up liquid bottle - squeezed the air out then whisked it (the poo) away when the air went back in. Could that be right, does anyone know? I always wondered if I had invented it! I asked DH but he didn't notice - obviously focussing his attention on other matters...

themoon666 · 10/10/2006 13:41

You mean like one of those things they use in shops to whisk the £20 away?

muma3 · 10/10/2006 13:41

its just like it (and yes i did poo everyone gettying a good eyefull of ya chocolate starfish too

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