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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

My dh just informed me that....

90 replies

BekkiKay · 17/01/2004 20:02

if women in childbirth would just be quiet and go off on their own behind a bush it would be easier, safer and the more natural way to do things.
I've argued until I was blue in the face that there is no such thing as natural and how could keping quiet help the birth process. He has just said thats what plains indians do. Before we kill each other in this debate could someone shed some light on childbirth in times past or less developed countries. Statistics very welcome-Zebra?

OP posts:

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eddm · 18/01/2004 20:29

Isn't depressing that there are so many cultures/religions that want to shut women up? Clearly scared of what we might say!

hmb · 18/01/2004 20:58

Queen Victoria was the first woman to use pain relief in childbirth in the UK. The bishops spoke against it (Eve's sin and all that). Good old Queenie put her royal foot down, and as she was the head of the Church of England there wasn't much they could do about it

Some cultures maintain that if a woman makes a noise during delivery it is proof that she has been unfaithful to her husband.....nice!

sb34 · 18/01/2004 21:00

Message withdrawn

Clarinet60 · 18/01/2004 22:18

hmb, loved your midwife 'fiend' typo!

Zebra, my midwife said that too. Not a good advert for the profession, IMO.

Bekkikay, don't you ever get leaflets from the fistula-related charity? It's graphic in it's description of young 3rd world girls having 'natural' obstructed deliveries that go on for days, result in stillbirth and leave the girls faecally incontinent and often cast out of their communities? Because if you do, next time, shove one of those in his cornflakes.

Other than that, perhaps Bloss's advice is best - don't rise to it.

Blu · 21/01/2004 11:42

I did spend part of second stage labour behind some bushes (outside Kings as the door to the maternity wing was locked, not on the North American Plains), and was happiest throughout labour alone and focussing on my breathing and my own inner-world. Wasn't quiet, though; a really noisy sound from a James Herriot episode on every out-breath was essential. I would have been quite happy like that, had no entonox etc, but was very glad that I could finally get out from behind the bush and into King's as DS was well and truly stuck OP in my odd-shaped pelvis.

BekkiKay, he's either winding you up or racked with guilt and in denial!

aloha · 21/01/2004 11:49

I think Bloss's advice is best. He's winding you up!

aloha · 21/01/2004 11:49

Blu You must have made some nice friends in the bushes outside Kings. Lovely chaps always willing to share their Special Brew....

rainbow · 21/01/2004 12:13

There are those out there who ar experimenting with mic and male pregnancy. How about putting DH's name down for the human trials, BekkiKay

Blu · 21/01/2004 12:16

Aloha: exactly, and my rythmic "uuuuuuurghs"blended right in, no-one batted an eyelid, it's SO important for birthpartners ot to make you feel self-conscious...

secur · 21/01/2004 16:46

Message withdrawn

zebra · 21/01/2004 16:52

Pupuce: that must be why most of them seem to adopt (all those Hollywood starlets).

Freddiecat · 21/01/2004 17:18

Well I was the quietest I've ever been during labour (apart from grunting "g" for gas and "w" for water). Then as soon as I started to push I heard this really primal animal sound and was a bit worried there was a wild animal in the hospital. Took a few minutes to realise it was me. The MW suggested I turned the noise energy into more pushing energy and it worked for me. Can see why some women need to shout a lot though.

Does your DH think that female athletes should be quiet and dignified too? They grunt and shout a lot.

Bozza · 22/01/2004 10:13

Freddiecat - thats exactly how it was for me too. I didn't scream or shout or swear at all (caused some bruising on Dh's hand but that was the lot). Then I started pushing still quietly but the midwife told me I needed to push harder and with my whole body and I did and the noise that came out was like a cross between a James Herriott cow and one of those huge weight lifters. It wasn't the pain, it was the sheer physical effort involved. And since I was pushing for two hours I suppose it amounted to quite a bit of noise.

singingmum · 22/01/2004 10:35

Bekkikay,I think your other half should talk to mine.My DP has had a vasectomy at only 24yrs of age because he said he couldn't see me in that much pain again.My first labour started on a sat morn ended on a sun morn and my second was worse.I had pains from the friday untill my daughter was born on the monday.Yes I had gas and air and in both cases the midwife gave me pethidine near the end as she could not allow me to go without as the pain was horrendous.
Your DH could do with a good case of gall stones and pancreatitus I had both at once and its the clossest pain to labour I have felt.Not nice but I would love to see him keep quiet without pain relief.
Have you thought of hiding any headache cures to see how he copes with that without medical interference?

Lara2 · 23/01/2004 20:44

I swore my head off all through my second labour, door open with a privacy screen round it. Went to breakfast the next morning and at the table were 2 mums from the school playground (I'm a Y1 teacher) who said "Oh!! So that was you we could all hear last night Mrs ***!!" The shame!! :0

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