Do woman who gave birth Vaginally resent woman who have had a C-section?

[Helenemjay]

I have had 3 c-sections, and my sister in law who has had 2 vaginal deliveries, says she thinks she resents the fact that i never had to go through childbirth! - this has confused me somewhat as before this, she has made it quite clear both quietly and publicly that she thinks women who have c-sections are just lazy )(sorry its an old and overplayed topic c-section V Vaginal) but i have never heard of women resenting about it before?????

I haven't read any of the thread apart from the OP (will go back and read it though) so sorry if this isn't in context anymore ...

A few weeks ago I was watching my DS play soccer and the other mums and I were having a bit of a gossip as per normal. Anyway, can't remember how the subject came up but one mum that I consider a friend said to me that she didn't think a woman was a real woman until she had experienced proper childbirth. I was and I think my face showed it because she then passed it off as a joke. I told her that it was lucky she hadn't said that to me a few years ago because she would have had a weeping wreck of despair on her hands because definitely up until DS was 2 (but maybe until DD was born by c/s when he was 4) I felt like I had failed as a woman by NOT being able to give birth to my child.
She apologised and said she didn't mean it and we laughed it off but I knew she meant it at the time, not realising how it could have upset me.
Anyway, I am not really normally that sensitive about it but she got me at the wrong time.

wish i had a section, similar to mumtoben hospital totally f*ed up had pre eclampsia which wasnt detected by midwife and consultants despite protein and complaining of feeling unwell, went in to get date for induction as 2 weeks overdue consultant checked blood pressure and nearly died was admitted straight away but delivary suite was busy so they couldnt do anything then so put me on a ward, contractions were 2 minutes apart within a couple of hours but no beds or midwives were available so i was put in the wards tv room with some gas and air and left to my own devices, after about an hour i was in a lot of discomfort so midwife finally examined me and decided i could go down to delivary suite finally got some monitoring but didnt see much of midwife as she kept disappearing my birth partner had trouble finding me as she couldnt find anyone to ask where i was so i was basically on my own with my pethidine and gas and air, eventually a midwife came to check on me and panicked as i had heamorraged quite badly and dd had turned herself back to back and they couldnt pick up a heartbeat, next thing i have a whole team of drs and midwifes in there trying to turn dd back i was fully dilated and wanted to push and they wouldnt let me, baby got distressed and cord was round her neck so they started talking csection, was rushed to theatre they decided to try 3 ventouse attempts first then had a really nasty forceps delivary loads of stitches internal and external baby had to be resucitated and i lost so much blood my body went into shock. i am having a section next time

Nunulcat - that's awful, mine is a long story, much told on here but I wish I had had the planned section I was originally advised to have. My baby was distressed and not breathing at birth - so they went straight from ventouse to ECS. I'm glad I missed out the forceps, I had them with my first ds - quite horrible.

As someone who hoped for an active vaginal birth but ended up with a traumatic crash section under GA, I have to go against the thread of posters who talk about cs like it could be the worst thing: "long recovery time", with double whammy of "looking after newborn", "scar", "major abdominal surgery". I was taken in by these scare stories and thought the worst thing had befallen me. But in hindsight, none of those things rang true for me. I know I am not alone in thinking this way, from other women who have had very positive cs experiences. I am not bothering with VBAC this time and going for an elective. There is nothing to resent or pity.

But Blueshoes, it is generally a longer recovery time. IMO, your choice and your business but for me, anything longer than the 10mins it took me to shower would be a long recovery time.
I was up, dressed and outside on the phone an hour after the birth (no stiches)
I'm not being smug, this was just my experience and I think that no matter how well a CS may go, I'd still need to spend time in bed on my back.

Mind you, if I'd had a first birth experience like MumtoBen's, I'd be screaming for an elective.

With regards to the OP - surely the whole point of "birth" is to end up with a healthy baby - how you get there is immaterial - your sil just sounds pissed off (sorry) that she didn't get a badge, gold star and colour-coded dressing gown to show what a "brave" woman she is - It's the whole "martyr" thing - ie - " look how brave and selfless I was and how much I had to go through and no one cares" blah, blah, blah......
next time she bangs on about this -ask her who actually cares how it all happended because, in the real world, no one gives a sh*t - women who haven't had babies - CS or otherwise have no idea and any woman who has had a baby knows that the most important thing is a safe delivery - her resentment is her own issue - IMO - ignore her ..

I've had three c-sections in three and a half years.First one exreme emergency,preclampsia and placental abbruption and my kidneys and liver started to fail and i was only 33 weeks ds was born and taken straight to scbu as only weighed 3lb 3oz but apart fom that was fine.Had to stay in hospital for 5 days but to be honest i felt ok.So i choose to have my next 2 kids by caesaraen again and on my last one was home in about 36 hours.I was home with 3 kids aged 3 14 months and a newborn and i was on my own as partner had left after an affair and i was driving 2 days later.I would say to anyone to have a section cos all the people i know who have had a vaginal delivery could do a lot less for themselves in the same time span and were in a lot more pain than i certainly was.

very true coolmama. Once the baby is out of your body, they don't give a stuff how they got there. It's amazing how much emphasis is made (ante-natally) on childbirth, and how little is made on actual parenting. Birth happens, whatever you do. Parenting is a skill that affects not only your child but their children........ etc etc

Just shows how competetive women are. Maybe if we played more sport we would be less competetive in all matters pertaining to babies/children.

I also was in hosp for a while and saw 2 women who had had C sec and to me they had endured and were enduring great pain. Felt sorry for them. Vaginal birth can be traumatic and my first was but still c sec is nothing to resent.

I had an emergency c-section and I was upset that I didn't give birth naturally. When I tried to tell people who had a 30 hour labour this, they thought I was mad especially as my entire birthing experience was over in about 2 hours! When I went into detail about the whole experience, which was very traumatic, people are generally quite sympathetic.

homemama, I'll give you that. The recovery time for the best vaginal birth (your experience) is better than than the recovery time for the best cs (not mine). But the average cs is not that bad. Really.

I resent everyone who has had an easy birth and thinks other women are making a big fuss.

Same goes for people (esp midwives) who have not given birth themselves with this view

No

Done both

Vaginally is better

Makes you more grateful

rumtumtigger - big fat ditto!

strange - I think I would be more resentful if I hadnt been able to experience natural childbirth but either way the most important thing is a healthy mum and baby.

Had a protracted and difficult birth, 50+ hours from start to finish, contractions kept stopping and starting, syntocin drip, epidural, waters broken, me panicking about the CTG and everyone else saying don't worry, it's fine, doctor comes in and says 'the CTG doesn't look good', me: 'told you so!' then utter panic, oxygen mask, was told to push, episiotomy, ventouse, ds rushed away immediately as they were worried about him but came back 10 mins later having scored 10 on his APGAR . Then my blood pressure went through the floor and I more or less passed out and ended up on a drip. Despite all that I'm glad I didn't have to have a section - I recovered very quickly, despite everyone teling me not to get out of bed as I'd lost so much blood, and the scar healed within days - I'm bad with pain and the thought of a CS scar terrifies me. There's no smugness though - my birth experience had laughably little to do with the active natural experience I'd rosily envisaged :)

You can piss without crying after a cs though.

I had 3 c-sections. First emergency as baby in distress. Planned on trial labour for second but fell at 32 weeks, split pelvis & would have had to try to give birth with my legs no further than hip width apart (is that even possible?) So second was planned section. I didn't have a choice after 2 sections so Charlie was another planned section. V V glad as he came out at a whopping 11lb 10oz!
Although I haven't experienced natural/ vaginal childbirth, I've been through the mill with other complications, 2x pph & a total of 7 pints of blood. I didn't notice anybody on the ward handing out trophies or medals for 'performance' during childbirth. Ultimately, we're all mothers no matter how our babies made their appearance, C-section or vaginally.

How ridiculous to resent a woman cos she's had a section? Imo childbirth is horrendous whichever route you take - nothing to envy on either side.