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Childbirth

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Original poster

Do woman who gave birth Vaginally resent woman who have had a C-section?

121 replies

Helenemjay · 13/04/2006 16:41

I have had 3 c-sections, and my sister in law who has had 2 vaginal deliveries, says she thinks she resents the fact that i never had to go through childbirth! - this has confused me somewhat as before this, she has made it quite clear both quietly and publicly that she thinks women who have c-sections are just lazy Angry)(sorry its an old and overplayed topic c-section V Vaginal) but i have never heard of women resenting about it before?????

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Northerner · 13/04/2006 20:34

Mumtoben, sounds like you had a terrible time. Hope you are recovering.

I had a tough birth with ds. He was back to back, I had failed ventouse followed by wrigleys forceps and episiotomy. Couldn't walk far for months.....very painful. I would have prefferred a c section to that any day.

Dh says it's like waving a stick in the Albert Hall now Wink

Northerner · 13/04/2006 20:35

Meant to say am not resentful in the slightest of any woman who has had a section though.

Bizarre comment from SIL IMO.

brioni · 13/04/2006 20:39

just in response to your question i have had 2 vaginal deliveries and am expecting my 3rd baby in 5 weeks and i pray to god it will be a vaginal delivery. I wouldnt want a c section, and i dont think woman who do have c sections are lazy even if by choice, i think its just personal preference.

Passionflower · 13/04/2006 20:42

God no what a weird thing to say. TBH I feel sorry for them because the thought of being cut open fills me with horror. I am ever so slightly phobic about knives though Smile.

MumtoBen · 13/04/2006 20:43

Homemama - Yes I am jealous of women who have had decent care! The delivery suite was "busy" I have been told on the night I gave birth, which I was why I wasn't allowed in there and put on a ward without anyone knowing I was there. I just think "why me???".

Northerner - sadly not recovering well. Also have SPD which was also mismanaged during delivery and am left with that I think forever, despite seeing a physio. This would also have been avoided with a c-section. Cannot do any exercise either or walk that far without pain.

Still it could have been worse - I was minutes away from a c-section, so I would have had all these problems plus an emergency c-section to contend with, which would have been worse.

PrincessPeaHead · 13/04/2006 20:43

uh..... no!

Northerner · 13/04/2006 20:45

Shock mumtoben - can you not sue for negligence or something? Really sorry to hear about your experience. How old is Ben now? Has it put you off having more?

Caligula · 13/04/2006 20:46

Oh go on, someone come on and have a rant about how women who have caesareans take the easy option and coast along and have missed out on one of life's great experiences and aren't real mothers and probably end up feeding their kids from jars and let's liven this thread up a bit. Grin

Caligula · 13/04/2006 20:47

OMG sounds like you were really neglected Mumtoben.

JoolsToo · 13/04/2006 20:48

Women who have caesareans take the easy option and coast along and have missed out on one of life's great experiences and aren't real mothers and probably end up feeding their kids from jars.

Rach69 · 13/04/2006 20:52

I'm not aware anyone ever got the choice! I think she must be thinking of the images portrayed of 'celebrities' having planned sections. To be totally honest with you after having 3 traumatic vaginal deliveries I think I too thought a quick op was the easy way out. With number 4 I had a failed ventouse and then an ECS (worst of both worlds if you like, nearly had stitches in both places). Now with the benefit of experience I would rather have a day or so of agonising labour followed by a couple of weeks recovering from an episiotomy. The pain and limitations of recovering from a c-section are still with me now three months on - I'm still not healed and I don't know how people cope with their other children. But it's more than a choice between where to have your stitches (I could sit down this time but I couldn't walk up the stairs!) - it is major abdominal surgery with the addition of looking after a newborn.

Caligula · 13/04/2006 20:52
Grin

Can't you come up with any daft remarks of your own woman? D'you have to steal mine?

MumtoBen · 13/04/2006 20:53

The gynae consultant is encouraging me to sue, but I won't get legal aid, so can't afford to and too traumatised to go through with it anyway.

Ben is 14 months now. I don't think I could go through 'natural' childbirth again. I could never trust a midwife again, as I had 4 in the space of 6 hours and all made serious errors. I will have to have an elective c-section next time anyway, as the gynae consultant thinks a natural birth will destroy the vaginal reconstruction I am waiting for. The sad thing is that the Head of the Delivery Suite said "if we had given you a bare minimum standard of care then you wouldn't have had the delivery you did".

Seashells · 13/04/2006 20:53

I've had 2 vaginal births and can't say I've ever resented any woman who has had a c-section. How ridiculous! Sounds like a comment that has come from someone who knows very little about the reality of c-sections, after all, just look how they are portrayed in the media, as if it is the easy way out. I'm expecting my 3rd baby in 2 weeks and it's only in this pregnancy that I've actually read the pages in baby books about c-sections, and read stories from people who have had them on MN, as I hoped never to need one, hopefully I never will.

Caligula · 13/04/2006 20:56

Mumtoben, have you been in touch with \link{http://www.aims.org.uk/AIMS}? They may be able to help you in getting over the experience.

Caligula · 13/04/2006 20:56

Sorry screwed up the link \link{http://www.aims.org.uk/\AIMS}

Rach69 · 13/04/2006 20:58

And yes stop all the 'bucket' jokes, it's insulting and it's just not true. I got fed up with people saying 'just one cough and he's be out' after having 4 kids. I wished!

PS The ONLY benefit of having a c-section was that at least I could have sex afterwards!

childern · 13/04/2006 20:59

If you have to have a c section then thats differnt would never chose to have 1. My friend had to have yet another csection with her 2nd and got pnd because of it.

MumtoBen · 13/04/2006 21:01

Caligula - thanks for the link - will have a look. Have looked at the Birth Trauma Assoc website before.

Rach69 · 13/04/2006 21:02

MumtoBen - how awful! I really hope you follow through a complaint for the benefit of the other mothers that follow you. I am in the process of complaining about my last birth, luckily for her the mw who messed things up for me has resigned before she could get sacked (I was glad she left me alone fully dilated as I felt more comfortable without her - she was so useless she thought my fully dilated cervix wasn't even 3cm and completely posterior...

JoolsToo · 13/04/2006 21:05

Women who have caesareans take the easy option and coast along and have missed out on one of life's great experiences and aren't real mothers and probably end up feeding their kids from jars, dress themselves and the babe in Burberry, call them Stockport or wherever it was they conceived, don't signal at roundabouts, pinch grapes from supermarkets, buy red rugs when they've got no money, make pirate noises during sex, chuck footballs at every passing cat and get juniors name down for the local airgun club as soon as.

Caligula · 13/04/2006 21:07

Ah, that's better.

Grin
MumtoBen · 13/04/2006 21:15

I followed through a complaint. I had a meeting with a obs/gynar consultant to go through my notes. The Head of the Delivery Suite came to my house for a meeting. The worst midwife of the 4 has left the hospital and if he wants to return will be subject to a supervisory review. Have had a verbal apology and acknowledgement of the appalling 'care' I received. But don't really think anything will change.

Mytwopenceworth · 13/04/2006 21:22

pmsl! resent?!! I had both of mine the old fashioned way and i prefer it cos i think it is easier and much less hassle and risk than being sliced open!

My sister had to have c-section cos breech, and she was laid up for ages. it hurt for weeks and her scar tissue still hurts if she touches it. (8 years!!)

i was in ward with a woman who had c-section and her stitches burst right there on the ward - she was screaming her head off. turned out she had got a big infection - pus and everything!

ok, pushing out a 10 and a half pounder the old way is no mean feat, but at least i was up the next morning, showering then shoving baby under my arm while i went in search of coffee. the c-section mums were hooked up to painkillers and needed bed baths, comodes and someone to lift baby onto them!

i ask you, whats to resent?! i think its daft though to choose a c-section if you dont need one, but only cos i think you are actually going to suffer more!

pupuce · 13/04/2006 21:25

Blimey mytwopence... that is not an advert for sections LOL