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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Sleeping with newborn in hospital on Day 1

67 replies

MissPollysTrolleyed · 10/09/2012 05:35

With my first DC, I was so exhausted and spaced out after a really long arduous labour that I was happy for him to be slung in his little bedside cot in the postnatal ward so I could get on with the job of sleeping. Neither of us slept terribly well and he was very unsettled that first night and for the next four months.

A girl opposite me on the ward slept with her baby lying on her tummy and they both slept brilliantly and looked serene in the morning and I never heard her baby cry in the 30 hours we were both on the ward.

I really like the idea of doing that this time. It does seem rather cruel to wrench baby away from its mummy, her heartbeat and smell and all those things with which he is familiar right after he's been through the trauma of birth. The only thing is that I'm worried that I might be so exhausted, I drop him, roll over on him or otherwise unwittingly harm him.

Any thoughts?

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annekins · 10/09/2012 05:50

I had the same with my DD, we had 2 nights of hell, I ended up pacing up and down the ward for most of the night to settle her. Not easy with stitches. The 3rd night, she fell asleep on me after a feed in the early hours, only for the helpful midwife (?) to come and pop her back in her crib so I could get some sleep. More pacing followed. In the end, we got a private room (due to other reasons) and we both slept like a dream, her on my chest and me wedged in with pillows. I think the hospital policy was that babies had to sleep in their own beds though, which doesn't make things easy.

Yamyoid · 10/09/2012 05:50

I'll never forget the first night in hospital with my ds. He would not settle in his cot alone. I spent the whole night up and down with him and pushing him around the ward. I was exhausted. At one point a nurse showed me how to feed lying down but I couldn't relax because I'd always heard you shouldn't sleep with a newborn.
So when I had dd, I decided there's no way I'm doing that again. I felt exactly as you say, and understood better why a baby wouldn't want to be alone. Therefore, her first night was spent lying on my tummy. I didn't get much sleep but it was better than the other way, and it felt like it was best for her.

HorryWinwood · 10/09/2012 05:52

I had one of those open sided cots attached to my hospital bed after I had DD. I held hands with her all night, it was lovely.

twolittlebundles · 10/09/2012 05:59

Keep the baby with you- you'll feel better, he'll likely sleep better (and you probably will too, though its all a bit relative obviously). The labour may be different this time, but ime, every instinct in your body will be on alert- you won't drop him and are very unlikely to roll on him- there will be people about to keep an eye to some extent.
You can also (depending on how you prefer to sleep) get co-sleeping wedges that will keep him safe next to you on the bed. Put him in a sleeping bag rather than under blankets and you should be very safe.

Flosie1989 · 10/09/2012 06:00

I was like you, when my DD arrived I was so spaced out I just needed sleep to get myself back together again. DD wasn't settling very well so DP slept with DD on his chest in the reclining chair. It worked very well but the midwives didn't know that's what happened! I don't think they would have been very happy otherwise!

If that's what you want to do then do it. You could ask the hospital to put cot sides on your bed so if you did drop baby then they wouldn't fall in the floor. Also you could ask the midwife on shift to keep checking on you and baby during the night.

I co slept with DD the first couple of nights at home and how we did it was I lay on my right side with DD cradled in my right arm with her lying on her left side facing my chest if that makes sense? It's not a recommended position but worked really well for us. I wouldn't have been able to roll over on to her because my arm was underneath her. If you were to do this at hospital with the cot sides on the bed you could press up against them as much as possible so you couldn't roll over onto DD.

It just means your restricted to one sleeping position but you'll be so tired you won't even notice! It was lovely waking up and seeing DD's face so close to me

CagneyNLacey · 10/09/2012 06:08

Both times I tried to sleep with my newborns in hospital I was bollocked by midwives and baby was put it in the cot next to me. So I was unable to sleep, as were my babies. God I hate post natal wards

Bonkerz · 10/09/2012 06:12

All three of my babies spent the first night on my chest. DS1 never went in his cot and spent while hospital stay on my bed , DD stayed on chest despite midwives moaning, I kindly pointed out that after a CS I was unable to move and was saving them a job DS2 stayed with me and no one dare say a word! I slept fine and even if it wasn't real sleep (just rest) I felt amazing in the morning!

MaggotMummy · 10/09/2012 06:17

I spent our first night (and most of the first 3 months) with DD sleeping on my chest.
I guess the midwives knew about it in the hospital but as they couldn't give a sod about either of us (I was one of those irresponsible people who hired an independent midwife and then had trouble with a 10lb cherub) they just left me to it. Dp got DD out of the crib they put her in at the end of the bed for me to feed her and she just fell asleep on me.
Your instincts are so strong to protect your child, I guess I did wake up to check because I was terrified of hurting her but we had a few hours sleep, more than others on the ward. She didn't cry and I'm sure that is because she was with me.

cupcake78 · 10/09/2012 06:38

Ds wasn't allowed to sleep with me. I had 3 nights of a screaming child and nit knowing what to do with him. We got home and he and I were massively more relaxed and got some rest.

Next time my baby will be with me come hell or high water! Dh will be looking after it during the day while I have eye mask and ear plugs in .

I'm never doing it the way I was made to first time round!

flubba · 10/09/2012 06:47

I had lovely midwives who helped 'tie' my babies onto me with tightly bound sheets so they couldn't fall off :) One even helped prop the back of one of those big ugly chairs up against the side of the bed to act as another deterrent from falling out.
Good luck! :)

nooka · 10/09/2012 06:48

I think that ds spent his first three days on my chest. I also had a c-section and was scared of moving (plus I had a catheter in so I didn't actually have to move). He was a very settled baby, and I think only screamed when they persuaded me to leave him in the crib whilst I had a shower. I was lucky to have a bed against a wall and took lots of pillows, so just wedged myself in place with ds on top. No risk of squishing him.

With dd I knew that moving around after a c-section is a good idea and the quicker you are up the quicker you can leave. So she went in the little crib. I don't think I bonded nearly so well with her (labour was really crap though which probably had more to do with it) and she spent the next few months demanding to be carried around all the time and screaming a lot. Personality had a lot to do with that too!

akaemmafrost · 10/09/2012 06:50

I slept with ds on my chest, not the first night though as had csection, but as soon as we went on the ward. The midwife just smiled at me when she came into check us. He didn't cry either.

CailinDana · 10/09/2012 06:55

I'm having a home birth this time around largely to avoid the bloody post natal ward - it felt like being in prison.

Every time I dozed with DS in my arms a MW would come along and tell me to put him in the cot "just in case." I wonder if they'd had a fatality in that hospital, they were all so wound up about it.

CagneyNLacey · 10/09/2012 09:04

I think I too would want a homebirth if I have any more. I have had my fill of being patronised, ignored, bullied and subject to shit advice from midwives who don't seem suited to their job at all.

I have had 2 children in 2 years and in all that time I have met only one midwife who treated me with any dignity or respect. I wish I had spoken up so many times instead of just sitting mutely accepting the crap that I did.

CagneyNLacey · 10/09/2012 09:09

Oh my god, sorry op

CagneyNLacey · 10/09/2012 09:10

Oh my god, sorry op

MirandaWest · 10/09/2012 09:12

With DS I was in hospital two nights. First night can't Rememebr what happened with sleeping. Second night he wouldn't settle and midwife found me getting unhappy about it. She came and tucked him in bed with me. I remember protesting and saying I didn't think it was safe etc and she told me it was fine :) And we both slept well :)

1tinnietinytoddler · 10/09/2012 09:12

I slept with my DD from the first night in hospital. I hada section and got sick of asking the midwives to pass her to me because she wouldn't settle. best thing I ever did all the other women we're moaning the next morning that they got no sleep (there was 6 of us in one room) but me and DD slept really well.

but the midwives didn't approve and told me that I shouldn't do it.

Herbsmum · 10/09/2012 09:22

I agree that baby sleeping with you is a good way of getting a rested night for you both, but yes there have been fatalities with co sleeping in hospital on the first postnatal night. Witnessing a resuscitation of a near suffocated newborn is also enough to make any self respecting midwife anxious. Bear in mind that many new mums are absolutely shattered and may have had high dose pain relief which may affect the natural protective instinct that is normal when you co sleep.
Sorry if that makes midwives seem insensitive. The majority aren't and I am sad for any mum who has had a bad experience.

ErikNorseman · 10/09/2012 09:26

If you sleep on one side with your arm at a 90' angle, with the baby's head just under your elbow, you will probably both get a better night's sleep. I also had DS sleep across my chest in his grobag quite often when he was tiny. I had one arm on his body and slept like a log without rolling over when DS was tiny, I still have that habit sometimes, I wake with pins and needles because I haven't moved for hours! IME when you have a tiny baby, especially if you BF, you are very very aware of them even when asleep. But my disclaimer is that I'm naturally a very light sleeper, I know women who wouldn't dare co-sleep as they feel they sleep too deeply to be safe.

RillaBlythe · 10/09/2012 09:27

When I had dd1 the midwives encouraged safe co sleeping.

Noqontrol · 10/09/2012 09:32

I was quite lucky as the midwife showed me how to co sleep safely.

KatAndKit · 10/09/2012 11:40

I would not have been able to do this on the first night - I almost dozed off holding him but the midwife took him and put him in his cot.
Really I don't think it would have been safe that first night - I was very exhausted and there was probably still a shit load of pethidine in my system.

EdMcDunnough · 10/09/2012 11:44

We weren't allowed, but I did it anyway as I couldn't move my legs to get him from the cot and they turned a blind eye rather than come and keep giving him to me all night.

Something about insurance not allowing it. Wasn't allowed to carry him on the ward either in case I dropped him

I mean yes I'd had an epidural but I was Ok within about 24 hours.

Hoping to avoid hospital this time, had a home borth for dc2 which was way better.

Badgerina · 10/09/2012 12:07

Midwives encouraged me to co-sleep safely with DS1 and he slept next to me e every night for years

I bloody hate the sound of postnatal wards. Nobody likes them. I had my own room in the MLU when DS1 was born, and it's only since posting on Mumsnet that I've begun to realise just how lucky I was to escape the PN ward.

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