Sleeping with newborn in hospital on Day 1

[MissPollysTrolleyed]

With my first DC, I was so exhausted and spaced out after a really long arduous labour that I was happy for him to be slung in his little bedside cot in the postnatal ward so I could get on with the job of sleeping. Neither of us slept terribly well and he was very unsettled that first night and for the next four months.

A girl opposite me on the ward slept with her baby lying on her tummy and they both slept brilliantly and looked serene in the morning and I never heard her baby cry in the 30 hours we were both on the ward.

I really like the idea of doing that this time. It does seem rather cruel to wrench baby away from its mummy, her heartbeat and smell and all those things with which he is familiar right after he's been through the trauma of birth. The only thing is that I'm worried that I might be so exhausted, I drop him, roll over on him or otherwise unwittingly harm him.

Any thoughts?

The midwife put DD in beside me the first night, and she spent the whole night attached to my boob. I'd only had G&A, and the bed had bars at the side so she wouldn't have fallen out. I'm not sure if she slept, and I certainly didn't, but it was nice to have her there. Second night, at home, lovely MIL stayed up most of the night with DD sleeping on her so I could get some sleep.

Sounds to me like a lot of the problems on PN wards are caused by the wrong types of beds - not wide enough, not comfy enough, and designed for ill people instead of mothers and babies trying to get to know each other.

Yes ours had side rails too - he couldn't have fallen out very easily.

I think a lot of the issues might be caused by the medicalised birthing process, as it were...I had an epidural, but I didn't really need one - I was just a first timer who thought, this hurts a lot, help, what have you got?

Second time round I knew what it had done to me, ie stopped me from walking or moving much for hours, it had also made me pretty sick.

But when you're in hospital you end up with this sort of cascade of stuff happening because of the previous thing - so, epidural, thus monitoring, thus inability to move around, thus giving birth in a silly position, thus the threat of ventouse or even a crash section because you can't push properly.

And then there are the side effects of the drugs, that mean you can't safely co-sleep, or indeed respond to your baby if it is not with you in the bed. And then you get the bottles being given and your breastfeeding ideas are often sunk.

I just wish I had KNOWN iyswim.

With my first (twins) they were born early evening and taken off to the nursery on the transitional care ward. They were tube-fed overnight and I was told to get some sleep. I was so buzzing with euphoria it took me ages to get to sleep and I ended up going down to the nursery in the small hours to peer into the incubators and then the midwife came along and took my DS out for me to have a cuddle.

In hindsight I wish they'd been by my side so I could have tried to breastfeed sooner, but as they were prem and I'd been quite poorly with pre-eclampsia, not to mention I was a bit clueless about the benefits of skin to skin back then, it just didn't occur to me to insist they stay with me that first night.

As for having the babies in bed with me, several of the midwives encouraged me to try to feed lying down after the first day, and when I was moved to a private room I had a proper double bed and I did go to sleep with the babies in my arms.

With my second set of twins I again spent two weeks in hospital with them. They stayed by my bed (in cribs) the first night and they and I both slept well, but the following nights were a mixture of me trying to doze while feeding each one lying down, then the midwives taking them down to the nursery for a few hours to let me rest, until they yelled again for me. I think the only time I slept deeply was the 2-3 hours before dawn when they seemed most settled. The rest of the time was just under the surface sleeping.

Sorry for the tome.

Forgot to say that the midwives/HCAs would roll up towels or blankets to wedge between/under the bed rails to prevent the babies slipping through as there isn't much room for a mum and two babies in a single bed.

Boffinmum - Yes, I was going to say the same.

I got dh to bring in extra cushions. I pulled the bedside cabinet oneside and the cot the other and put a pillow against each. DD laid on my chest and if she had rolled she wouldnt have gone anywhere. The first night i had a cot attatched to the bed as id had a cs but they took it away. You could ask for one. Theyd probably prefer that to cosleeping so might accomodate you. When dd got restless on night 4, the mw brought me a kind of pram. She slept brilliantly in it.

Sorry, I have been guilty of not reading every response, but I just wanted to check you know you don't necessarily have to stay in if you have a straightforward vaginal delivery.

I had DD1 by forceps at 4am, and still went home that day. DD2 was a home birth.

You could ask for the 6 hour discharge and get home for a lovely night co-sleeping in a bed set up for it? Sleeping in a post-natal ward was one of my worst nightmares and a big factor in going for a home birth!

Obviously ignore me if you have a planned section on the cards or otherwise know you will need to stay in.

DS and I co-slept for the first few weeks on a large mattress on the floor of our living room. It was actually the sofa-bed we normally used for guests, but exDP worked shifts with very early starts so it made sense for use to sleep separately for a while, epseically with DS waking every 2-3 hours for a feed .

This was 16 years ago and I know that ideas about co-sleeping have changed, but it literally saved my sanity. I was in hospital with DS for 6 days after his birth and I only had 10 hours sleep during that time. I was hallucinating with exhaustion and dangerously depressed by the time we got home.

I too did this - much to the horror of the PN Ward Sister (who said that I was making a rod for my own back) and the midwives who kept taking her off me 'for swaddling'; well, DD HATED swaddling, straight from the off and would cry until she was released. I figured it was MY back that i was 'making a rod for', and that my only instinct was that this baby had been inside me for all that time, listening to my heartbeat, warm and snuggly and had been thrust into bright lights and a manic environment (emcs!)all of a sudden. I was pretty poorly - on HDU for a couple of days but I couldn't bear for her not to be on me, able to feed whenever she wanted to and cuddled to sleep. I had one of those long snaky beanie bag pillows for sleeping with during pregnancy and so I just snaked that around us to create a 'dam' so she didn't roll off me. I'm a very light sleeper though - probably worse in hospital and can't really remember falling into a deep sleep until we were at home - 6 long days later!

She is such a happy, bright, confident little girl now - and has always been an amazing sleeper that i have occasionally wondered if those early days had any bearing. That's not smugly said btw, I know i am bloody lucky!

Whatis, amazed at your "with my second set of twins" comment! I'm sorry to be so predictable but what age gap did you have? I am excited but terrified by the prospect of adding a new baby to our already crammed household of me, DH and DS and am always in awe of people who have twins. Two sets of twins takes the medal though.

Fantastic I have one of those snaky pillows so will throw it in the car as it might be just the thing.

Youlllaugh I guess it depends what time of day I give birth. I've always assumed it would be nighttime as it was with my DS but if I give birth early in the morning, I would consider a 6 hour discharge. I have a clotting risk though so have to take anti-coagulants post-natally so they may insist on keeping my in that first night to make sure I've got the hang of injecting .

Earnest, you have a lovely MIL.

I was in hospital for over a week and DD co-slept with me from the start - even during the 2 days we were in HDU.

All the midwives seemed perfectly happy with it - I'd brought lots of pillows and I pushed the bassinet thing right up to the side of the bed just in case.

We still co-sleep now over 3 years later and love it - I have a bar on the side of the bed but mainly so we can use every inch of mattress rather than worries about falling out.

My HV was very supportive although a bit surprised because 'you are a white lady'...

I brought DS1 into the bed with me, as he would screem if more than about 1cm away from me. The MW saw us, and promptly brought the leaflet on safe cosleeping, and left us to it.
May be worth reading the guidelines about co-sleeping, and when not to do it before you go in.

After a (unplanned) homebirth with DS2, I can highly recommend early discharge if you can. It was lovely to get into a comfortable bed with both my boys for a cuddle.

O.
M.
A.
G.

'second set of twins'???

You're a marvel, woman.

I did that with all 3 of mine. With 1st I'd had an emergency section and was in pieces. DD1 was put in the bassinet by my bed and I was having trouble in the night getting up to get her and feed her. Sometime in the early hours I realised that feeding lying down was much easier anyway and I couldn't get in and out of bed AGAIN to put her in the bassinet so she stayed in bed with me (bed had side rails) and that was all much easier, second night I didn't even try putting her in the bassinet. I had planned sections with the next two and those first few nights in hospital (3 nights with 2nd and 2 nights with 3rd) curled up with the baby in my bed are very happy memories. I remember with DC3 a nurse waking me up at 6am and telling me I had to wake and feed the baby. I replied rather crossly (not happy about being woken!), that I had fed him just over an hour before and a few hours before that too and she apologised and said that as she hadn't heard any crying or movement from us all night she assumed he hadn't been fed!

Dowagers - how awful for you!
on your behalf

I put DD in her little cot thing because i felt like I had to, because of the severe sids warnings.

i hated it, but i didn't know what else to do.

I had her at home and was transferred in to be stitched up.
i spent a lot of time with her in my arms, both in the ambulance and while I was being done and checked etc.
I only put her in the cot thing when I wanted to sleep.

now, considering how we co-sleep every night, I can't imagine not sleeping with her in my arms, so the next one I will probably not put down.
I hate thinking about how much cuddle time I wasted at the beginning.

It wasn't great but we co-slept until the age of 5 so made up for it big time :)