Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Sleeping with newborn in hospital on Day 1

67 replies

MissPollysTrolleyed · 10/09/2012 05:35

With my first DC, I was so exhausted and spaced out after a really long arduous labour that I was happy for him to be slung in his little bedside cot in the postnatal ward so I could get on with the job of sleeping. Neither of us slept terribly well and he was very unsettled that first night and for the next four months.

A girl opposite me on the ward slept with her baby lying on her tummy and they both slept brilliantly and looked serene in the morning and I never heard her baby cry in the 30 hours we were both on the ward.

I really like the idea of doing that this time. It does seem rather cruel to wrench baby away from its mummy, her heartbeat and smell and all those things with which he is familiar right after he's been through the trauma of birth. The only thing is that I'm worried that I might be so exhausted, I drop him, roll over on him or otherwise unwittingly harm him.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Badgerina · 10/09/2012 12:08

I agree though, after Pethidine it isn't the safest thing to do. You're still very groggy usually

Flisspaps · 10/09/2012 12:13

DS slept on me in hospital. No-one said a word or batted an eyelid.

They cannot stop you having your baby in your bed, but the hell of the PN ward can make it hard to argue.

Original poster

MissPollysTrolleyed · 10/09/2012 12:40

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. I do appreciate the comments from Herbsmum too - if there have been fatalities, then I clearly need to know that so I can make a reasoned judgment at the time.

I wouldn't just be doing this to get us both a good night's sleep but I feel that my DS and I didn't bond very well at the beginning and want to get things off to a better start this time.

Obviously, I'm planning to have a much more straightforward birth this time so hopefully will feel safe for co-sleeping but I can decide at the time.

Flubba, I love that your babies were tied on to you in the post-natal ward. That's a lovely idea.

Cagney&Lacey, why the apology? There's nothing in your posts that offends me.

OP posts:

BushyKate · 10/09/2012 12:41

I just had a baby three weeks ago. The ward was very busy but the midwives were generally good and friendly- both nights (different staff) they tucked DD in with me :)
I think it was easier for them TBH and also lovely for us. On the second night the midwife said all the babies were cosleeping! I am still sleeping with her three weeks on and am a big fan. Am getting much more sleep than I did with DS.

CagneyNLacey · 10/09/2012 13:47

I apologised as I went off on one a bit then, didn't realise until i read it after posting

lisa2104 · 10/09/2012 13:51

Hi, that sounds lovely and I would like to do that when I give birth but I read in a pregnancy book that you should let the midwife take baby away for the night because you will need all the sleep you can get before you go home? What is best?

EdMcDunnough · 10/09/2012 13:53

I can see now why they were concerned about co-sleeping, especially with some of us having had some heavy duty drugs...the thing is though it gets really complicated then. Because you can't move, sometimes, to pick up your own baby, so you need it within reach - also it really limits your skin to skin opportunity, and though I was lucky to be able to breastfeed ds1 for 16 months, the first day nearly cost us that, because he fed at birth, then slept, then woke for a feed later, and I couldn't get to him though I was awake and no one came to help or hand him to me! He just cried till he went to sleep again.
THEN they said if he does not feed soon we will have to give him a bottle - and I protested, and they got very cross with me, and so eventually I insisted he was put next to me in the bed so that he could breastfeed again when he was ready to. He did, thankfully, around 9-10pm - they had given me an ultimatum of midnight.

I think it was a system failure really, I mean yes of course, say they can't be in the bed with a new mother but at least please be prepared to go to the child yourself, then, when it needs to be fed. Especially if the mother cannot walk or stand up. (not directed at anyone here - just in general)

happierhigherstrongerwheezing · 10/09/2012 13:54

First baby, he was fine on the first night, second night was wouldn't go in his cot. As soon as I put him down, he woke up.

The midwife put him on me, got the sheet and tucked me and him in tightly so he wouldn't fall off/out. We both slept well after that.

Second baby was exactly the same, so I had a pillow and put the baby on the pillow with my hand around him.

I had a cs both times and the only times I slept in hospital. I hated it with a passion a reason not to have any more children I think.

BadRoly · 10/09/2012 13:57

I had to stay in for a week with ds1 and was encouraged to have him in my bed. Subsequently I kept dd2 and ds2 in my bed in hospital too. I just used sheets to keep them in but they gave the lady in the bed next to me one of those toddler bed sides.

EdMcDunnough · 10/09/2012 13:58

Lisa, hi there - how old is the book you're reading?
I'm not sure if midwives will actually take babies from their mothers at all these days, unless of course the baby needs special care or the mother is too ill to care for it or feed it herself.

I would always recommend having the baby with you as much as you can, right from the start - they are still so new and small, and have been with you for 9 months so they need that familiarity, the smell of you and the sound of your voice.

BoffinMum · 10/09/2012 14:04

I tend to sleep with mine on the chest for a the first few weeks, or in the crook of my arm next to me in the bed. If you don't smoke or take loads of drugs, and you are bf, all this is absolutely fine.

ScrambledSmegs · 10/09/2012 14:06

The night midwives at my hospital seemed to actively promote co-sleeping. At least, one of them bustled into my room in the small hours when I couldn't settle DD, said 'baby wants mummy' and popped us both into the hospital bed surrounded by pillows. I ended up getting a few hours of sleep - more than I had done for the previous night!

Unfortunately that was the only good thing they did. The night midwives were awful in the main, and everyone was terrified of them

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 10/09/2012 14:07

I slept with dd. The bed was pretty wide and the side was up on her side so she couldn't fall out.

Wasn't 'allowed' (god I hate that word) but no one even noticed.

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 10/09/2012 14:09

I didn't take any drugs during birth though - I imagine if you had taken pethidine or similar and it was still wearing off, it wouldn't be a good idea. Not sure about epidurals, I suppose it depends how mobile you are.

mummyonvalium · 10/09/2012 14:10

Do it, do it, do it. It is amazing co-sleeping in those first few days.

First time round I had a c-section and I will never forget that moment when all the babies were crying on the ward and DS and I were curled up together.

Second time around I had a natural delivery however, the midwife in hospital tried to put me off doing it but I ignored her and I am glad I did. Again curled up together and ignoring the world.

Also, it makes breastfeeding so much easier. They can just latch on and off in their sleep.

ISeeThreadPeople · 10/09/2012 14:11

Our hospital encourage you to have the baby in bed with you. Particularly 2nd time round, they were fabulous about it. They set you up safely, made sure all drinks and snacks were nearby, along with the buzzer and then left you tucked up soundly. They came round regularly, peeped in and checked you both. I was amazed that during a 2 night stay (cs) on a packed ward, only twice did I hear babies crying.

TerraNotSoFirma · 10/09/2012 14:13

When DS was born, the midwives were concerned about his temperature being lower than it should have been.
They had him in a hot cot, heated pad of some description. None of this was working, then another midwife came on shift and promptly stuffed DS down the front of my nightie for a cuddle, temperature regulated very quickly.

We slept like that until the shift changed again and I was unceremoniously woken by a different midwife hauling DS off of me and giving me a row for being so careless. She got the sharp end of my tongue I can tell you, I swiftly discharged myself.

Thinking of it still pisses me off even now and it was last May.

pookamoo · 10/09/2012 14:20

lisa are you in the UK? The midwives don't really take babies away as there's nowhere to put them. We don't have nurseries like the US.
If you are trying to establish breastfeeding, the last thing you want to do is send the baby away.

I had DD2 at our local maternity unit, and the Healthcare assistant tucked her up in bed with me on the first night... a year later we are still co-sleeping, and the difference between this and our experience with DD1 is amazing.

Beamur · 10/09/2012 14:20

Goodness - I think I was lucky. I'd had pethidine, a cs and a very long labour and was struggling to get out of bed to pick baby up, I'd been awake all night (so not much sleep for nearly 2 days) and a MW came along, put her in with me - did the sheet tucking thing and let us get on with it. So much easier - but I got the impression this was the MW rather than any hospital policy - they were very down to earth and practical where I gave birth.

Cheddars · 10/09/2012 14:21

I'm all broody now.

I want a snuggly newborn

EdMcDunnough · 10/09/2012 14:27

Sounds like our hospital was just rubbish in that department.

It's closed its PN unit now - you have to travel to give birth and both the other places have MLUs.

I hope if I have to go in or transfer from home, that these places are more amenable to the idea of breastfeeding and co sleeping.

I breastfed ds2 till 4 1/2, he still sleeps in my bed at 5. I don't see any way I can go back from that into a formula/cot arrangement with the next one.

Foshizzle · 10/09/2012 14:28

The postnatal ward I was in for DC2 was very relaxed and happy to show mums how to co-sleep safely until there was an accident where mum fell asleep and baby fell off the bed. After that they were v strict and kept curtains open and put babies back in cot if it looked as though we were dropping off. I could completely understand their position - they were clearly happy to relax the rules where they could - but I got out as soon as I could so I could co-sleep and get a decent night's sleep (loosely speaking).

IShallPracticeMyCurtsey · 10/09/2012 14:30

I had no idea what to do, really - DD was put in a bedside cot all swaddled up where she slept for about two hours. I woke up to hear her crying, was terrified I would be judged for having a crying baby (clueless ftm) and whisked her straight into my arms where she stopped crying immediately. So the rest of the night was spent like that with her sleeping either on my chest or side-by-side me. She slept quite well and I patched together an hour or two. I heard a midwife pull open the curtain, check on us (I feigned sleep in the hope that it would make her more reluctant to move us) and go away again.
It's just the most natural instinct in the world isn't it!

And my goodness yes, the postnatal ward is a grim grim place...

JustFabulous · 10/09/2012 15:21

When I had DS1 in 2001 I had to stay in hospital for 5 loooooooooong nights.

One night the midwives just took him but the minute he cried I was awake. I didn't want them to take him but you know, they know best.

One night a midwife swaddled him next to me in the bed but I didn't sleep well as I was worried he would fall out. She said he wouldn't but I wasn't aware she had psychic powers.

I think you should do what you think is best for you both, while taking into advice any safety advice.

DowagersHump · 10/09/2012 15:26

I accidentally slept with DS on the first night but he got taken off me when the MW did her rounds. Whereupon he screamed so much, they took him out of the room :(

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread