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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Sex after childbirth

73 replies

jenrose29 · 19/06/2012 21:25

How long did you wait until first having sex after giving birth?

OP posts:
SuzySheepSmellsNice · 19/06/2012 21:51

About a month I think... It was a very hushed affair but nice! I had a 9lb2 baby, but fortunately only had a few stitches and recovered quickly obviously. Don't rush into it though, you'll know when you're ready. Don't let anyone hurry you!

SarryB · 19/06/2012 21:54

2 weeks, but I only had 2 'grazes', and we took it VERY slowly :) I did leak milk everywhere though!

BlackOutTheSun · 19/06/2012 21:55

9 months, it was the choice of sex or sleep. Sleep always won

JambalayaCodfishPie · 19/06/2012 21:57

3weeks. But I had a small baby and no grazes or tears. Would have happily done it earlier if the bleeding had stopped.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 19/06/2012 21:57

a long time, maybe 4/5 months and then I still wasn't ready so another 4/5 months more recovery before we tried again.

pumpkinsweetie · 19/06/2012 21:58

A week, but then i only had grazes with my dcs.
I say that you should wait until you are absolutely ready whether that be a few days to 6months....
The first time after isn't that great but it is nice to have the intimacy back

nurseneedshelp · 19/06/2012 21:58

4 weeks....

Helenh90 · 19/06/2012 21:59

About 3 and a half months with dd1 as I had quite a few stitches and couldn't sit comfortably for that long, let alone anything else.
With dd2 though, it was about 7 weeks. I only had a few grazes but I was too knackered and she didn't really sleep for long enough before that.

janie2 · 19/06/2012 21:59

months! I'm with Blackout......sex was way down the priority list!

tbh I had pretty nasty tears so it would have been a couple of months before I'd have managed anyway.

BellaOfTheBalls · 19/06/2012 21:59

6 weeks with DS1, had episiotomy, stitches and a small tear.

2 weeks with DS2. Just bruising.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 19/06/2012 22:04

fyi I only had a graze too...just couldn't deal with it so the trauma your body receives giving birth isn't always directly linked to when you feel like having sex again.

Springforward · 19/06/2012 22:04

About 6 months I think. Given a choice between sex and sleep, we both tended to choose sleep....

jenrose29 · 19/06/2012 22:10

Well baby is almost 3 weeks old now and bleeding has almost stopped. Only had a cut so thinking about trying to have sex but the midwife and friends said that it's dangerous before 6 weeks as the cervix hasn't closed properly and could become infected?

OP posts:
PamBeesly · 19/06/2012 22:17

4 weeks, then another 4 after that, go slow only when you feel you are ready

notcitrus · 19/06/2012 22:21

About 7-8 weeks after both births- couldn't be bothered to sort out contraception before 6 week check, then a week for pills to kick in, then getting round to trying it.

ForFoxsGlacierMints · 19/06/2012 22:29

5 weeks . . . really because I thought the doc would ask me at my 6 week check. She did not.

Billy11 · 19/06/2012 22:52

three months...my virginity just grows back so it was painful for ages after that as well..
i had a an episiotomy and a few stiches
couldnt have let him touch me any sooner though stiches healed in a week or so

StrawberrytallCAKE · 20/06/2012 08:40

Billy your virginity does what?

pumpkinsweetie · 20/06/2012 09:27

Wish mine would grow back Blush

ZhenThereWereTwo · 20/06/2012 09:32

1st EMCS - 5 weeks

2nd EMCS - 8 weeks

StrawberrytallCAKE · 20/06/2012 20:41

Oh Billy where are you? I need to know of this miracle medical condition where you can wipe out your sexual history and your hymen grows back...Hmm

MrsMuddyPuddles · 20/06/2012 20:44

About 4 weeks. It was too soon, and ribbed condoms were a total mistake!

PiggyMad · 20/06/2012 21:30

I had dc1 ten weeks ago and had a 3rd degree tear and I'm still too scared to have a go - despite feeling ok down there.
I might just have to 'bite the bullet', so to speak, before the issue becomes psychological!

monkeyfacegrace · 20/06/2012 21:38

4 days but ds was diddy. It was DH's idea, not mine Grin

grimbletart · 20/06/2012 21:55

It is not advisable to have sex too soon after childbirth because of the (very slight) risk of embolism.

I can't link the 1998 original research in the Postgraduate Medical Journal as it is not currently available from the archives, but I have found a report of the research from the Los Angeles Times.

Extract:

"For most couples, the idea of having sex one week after having a child might be the furthest thought from their minds. But just in case, be warned that British doctors have found that sex soon after birth can be dangerous and, in very rare cases, even fatal.

Intercourse too soon after childbirth can cause a deadly air embolism, or bubble, in a blood vessel, a risk that remains for six weeks after birth while the mother's womb is returning to normal and the spot where the placenta was attached is healing, according to a report in the October Postgraduate Medical Journal.

"It can be fatal. It is very, very rare," according to Dr. Philip Batman, a pathologist at the Bradford Hospitals NHS Trust in northern England. "It does happen, and obstetricians should be aware of it." Batman and his colleagues described the cases of two young mothers from northern England who died within a two-year period as a result of making love shortly after having a child. A 22-year-old woman suddenly collapsed and died while having sex with her husband eight days after delivering her third child. The second woman, a 29-year-old with four children, suffered a similar death five days after giving birth. Both deaths were caused by air embolisms."