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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

if you've had an elcs will they look after the baby at night? even for the first night?

100 replies

Loonybun · 30/04/2012 22:43

Ok I know most mums want to keep their babies with them all the time.

But I have thyroid and pituitary problems and after a c section I will need to sleep. Am I destined to manage on my own with ds overnight or will the midwives take ds away so I can sleep if I ask them to?

Any experiences welcome :)

Dh is going to be home with me for 4 weeks when I get home and is prepared to do most of night time feeds. I can't catch up on sleep during the day - tried it with dd and I just can't nap.

Lack of sleep is the biggest issue for me right now.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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belfaft1981 · 02/05/2012 11:36

My 1st was born by crash section under GA early evening. I had been in labour since the night before. I was on a morphine drip overnight and quite frankly I was on another planet. A midwife took baby for a little while so I could get some sleep. With my 2nd I laboured all day and ended up with a EMCs late evening. Had a spinal that time. The only help I got was fetching baby to feed. At least I wasn't on morphine. In the end we coslept the 1st night with midwife approval. It was great and breastfeeding actually worked.

dreamingbohemian · 02/05/2012 11:46

If you're not planning to BF then I would really look into having your DH take the baby home that first night.

I also think it's a bit old-fashioned to insist the baby stay in hospital, where he doesn't need to be, to stay with a mum who's recovering from major surgery, when he could be tucked up all nice at home with dad.

Ephiny · 02/05/2012 11:55

I like the idea of the baby going home with dad, I've wondered about that myself but never heard of anyone doing it. I also find it bizarre that women are expected to look after a newborn baby day and night with no or minimal help while recovering from major surgery. The whole promoting normality/'you're a mum not a patient'/'childbirth is not an illness' thing is all very well if it's a straightforward birth, but doesn't make so much sense when you've had complications or surgery.

This is actually one reason I'm considering private care: you have the option of using the nursery and/or having your DH stay the night in your room

melliebobs · 02/05/2012 12:09

I had an emsc and although I was up n about there's we're nights I really struggled n they took her off me for 2-3 hrs

Convert · 02/05/2012 13:41

Sorry Looney, have just reread my posts and they aren't put very well. What I should have said was, I get that you have other medical conditions and you could really do with some time to recover. I think you should try as much as possible to not worry because you will get worked up about it and make yourself feel worse about the situation.
I'm sure that you will get some help, especially if you explain, but if you find the labour ward is heaving/short staffed it might not be much. So if everything goes tits up then essentially it is only a night and hopefully you will soon be home with the support of your husband to get the rest you need.

Convert · 02/05/2012 13:46

Duchesse, the point wasn't in any way about babies who aren't very well. Do you honestly think I was advocating the idea that sick babies should be kept with their mothers instead of being given the treatment they need? Wow.

ViolaCrayola · 02/05/2012 13:58

I couldn't really move after having DS (due to various problems) and MWs helped me get him in/out of the cot and took him away to change his nappy.

One of them was really lovely and I still remember her as being a bit of an angel to me :)

Hope you get some help.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 02/05/2012 17:31

After reading this I am going to ask about DH taking the baby home if I have to stay in for any reason, and it will have to be a bloody good reason to be honest. Or him staying in with the baby and me going home...that would suit me too. No intention of breast feeding, going straight back on my meds as soon as baby is born and they will knock me out for the night so i wont be able to look after the baby and I would rather DH had him than the midwives, as this is what we will be doing at home anyway...it actually seems odd this isnt offered as an option tbh.

CointreauVersial · 02/05/2012 18:13

No problem with baby going home early, as soon as they have been checked over and discharged fit and healthy, and are feeding well. If you are not going to bf, then why not? Having said that, I couldn't think of anything worse than having my precious babe taken off me!

I know some of you are parents already, but I do think the rest of you are in for a shock if you have the expectation that people are just going to relieve you of your baby burden because you're "tired" or you've "taken some meds". The baby is your responsibility, come what may, no matter how ill/knackered you might feel in the next 18 years. However, in my experience (3DCs, one born EMCS) the post-natal ward staff will do their utmost to help you if you ask, so I think you are worrying unnecessarily.

OP, if you are having an ELCS, you will be far less knackered than someone who has laboured for 24 hours!

BabyDubsEverywhere · 02/05/2012 18:33

My baby is just as precious to me thankyou, so are the two dc i already have.

Unfortunatly I have bipolar and schizophrenia. Perfectly functioning person whilst medicated, the meds induce coma like sleep. I wont wake for around 10-12 hours from when i take them.

My children are not my responsibily for the next 18 years, that responsibility lies equally between me and their father. And when one of the two is unable to provide whats necessary the other steps in and vise versa...and the exhaustion of a normal labour, let alone a traumatic one, surely its nothing but sensible for the other part of the tag team to step in??

It should be all about choice for whats best all round shouldnt it?

CointreauVersial · 02/05/2012 18:41

BabyDubs, I quite agree, what's right for me isn't right for everyone. I didn't want to put my baby down, let alone wave goodbye for a couple of days, but that's just me!

My comment was because I just perceived a teeny weeny note of unrealistic expectations from a couple of posters, and I think it is best to be prepared that there are many occasions in life where you cannot imagine feeling less like looking after your DCs, but you just have to......

BabyDubsEverywhere · 02/05/2012 18:47

Completely agree with that, i couldnt feel less like looking after my DC anytime they make that whiney noise or smell bad

Original poster

Loonybun · 03/05/2012 14:10

Thank you for all the posts and advice. Much appreciated :)

OP posts:

Billy11 · 04/05/2012 00:15

Some private hospitals have 24 hour nurseries. But with the NHS I think it depends on the day and how busy or friendly the midwives are ...as they are usually quite stretched...

CommanderShepard · 05/05/2012 22:06

It probably depends on an assortment of factors but I have a colleague who had a c-section and one of the midwives looked after her baby for at least a couple of hours so she could get some rest (she had a dural tap so huge headache when she sat up).

Don't know whereabouts you are but if it helps this was the John Radcliffe in Oxford.

squiby2004 · 06/05/2012 08:50

Not unless you go private. My DD went to night nursery every night while I had 2 sleeping pills for the 5 nights I was in. it sees ridulous to me that you are expected to care for a tiny baby single handedly after major surgery!

growingweeble · 06/05/2012 22:54

Be prepared for the post natal ward to be awful. I think they do it purpose to get rid of you asap. I got no sleep and the midwives there were pretty horrible. It was totally different from the supportive staff in the labour ward.
Sorry to be negative but I wish I'd gone to sleep while my dh was still there and able to look after dd. After visiting hours and you're on your own there was no support. The exact opposite in fact.
IME sleep is not something you'll get while still in hospital. Do not forget to take ear plugs.

BlackSwan · 06/05/2012 23:14

I think it's cruel to make a woman who has just had major surgery take care of a newborn. You can barely get up, let alone change a baby, get them into bed with you if you are breast feeding or prepare a bottle for them if you aren't. If at all possible, get someone to help out. The standard of care for new mothers in NHS hospitals is appalling.

PiedWagtail · 06/05/2012 23:23

Nope - not ime. I had an elcs at 9am and spent the first night of dd's life with her co-cleeping with me in narrow hosp bed, with the light on above my bed and I couldn't reach the buzzer to get a nurse to switch it off - couldn't reach it myself - and and couldn't get out of bed to do it. Didn't sleep as was holding dd so she didn't fall out of bed!! Not my most relaxing night

I'd ask the ward before you go in, say you need this kind of care.

LilRedWG · 06/05/2012 23:27

DD was in with me and slept pretty much all night. When I did need to lift her I called the midwives and they helped. DS was in the special care unit so not with me. :(

LilRedWG · 06/05/2012 23:30

The midwives were lovely when I was in having DS and were quite often walking around the ward with someone's baby asleep on their shoulder. Oooo - it's making me go all gooey and broody thinking of it.

LilRedWG · 06/05/2012 23:33

Loony - do you want to tell us which hospital you will be in. One of us may have experience of it - it seems to vary massively.

VivaLeBeaver · 06/05/2012 23:38

The postnatal ward I work on there are 3, sometimes only 2 midwives and one hcsw for a 48 bed ward. It's full every night.

We will try to take some babies for a couple of hours for those who are really struggling but it depends what's happening. We may have a woman who is quite poorly and taking up a lot of time, or a woman in early labour, etc.

Eggrules · 06/05/2012 23:43

2 day labour followed by emergency cs and no help.

BF babies left on the ward. FF babies taken.

feekerry · 07/05/2012 08:48

I had emcs 5 weeks ago. Luckily I felt fine to care for baby first night and hospital was fine with co sleeping so tbh I got fair bit of sleep but midwives were more than happy to help if required. The lady next to me who'd also had a section regularly had the midwives take her baby for most nights so she could sleep as her baby was very unsettled.

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