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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

if you've had an elcs will they look after the baby at night? even for the first night?

100 replies

Loonybun · 30/04/2012 22:43

Ok I know most mums want to keep their babies with them all the time.

But I have thyroid and pituitary problems and after a c section I will need to sleep. Am I destined to manage on my own with ds overnight or will the midwives take ds away so I can sleep if I ask them to?

Any experiences welcome :)

Dh is going to be home with me for 4 weeks when I get home and is prepared to do most of night time feeds. I can't catch up on sleep during the day - tried it with dd and I just can't nap.

Lack of sleep is the biggest issue for me right now.

OP posts:

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ArcticRain · 01/05/2012 21:39

I was really lucky with my midwives. They were great . I had a crash section under a general , and both nights they took my baby away (offered), for about 5 hours . I was on morphine . For the other hours , they told me to buzz , and came within minutes .

At one in the morning the following night , one midwife also came and sat with me because I was so upset from nearly losing my daughter . She spoke about her similar experience and I was very grateful to them all .

I also didn't feel guilty . I don't think I was really with it tbh.

UterusUterusGhali · 01/05/2012 23:37

Bit of a tip, pick a young/broody-looking student midwife or support worker to ask to look after the baby.
most would love a cuddle!
Don't ask the fierce looking ones!

Most hospitals don't have nurserys any more.

Monkey, I made sure my DH knew I wanted my baby latched on if I was under sedation for any reason.

CointreauVersial · 01/05/2012 23:49

I had an emcs, and was left with DD1 for the first night.

But she did nothing but sleep for the first few days, never cried, just wriggled and grumbled when she wanted feeding - lucky me! I'm sure I had help lifting etc. but didn't really need much more assistance.

The MWs were far more concerned with the mum opposite who had given birth to an 11lb 10oz whopper who roared constantly; the poor girl was in bits (in more ways than one), so they took the baby away for a few hours.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 02/05/2012 01:29

I was just wondering something, hypothetically...

The mom will have to be in hospital as a patient as they have had surgery yes?
What about the baby?
Are they classed as a patient too because of the delivery?
If not could the father not take them home then in theory?
If they are a patient are they not entitled to space on the childrens ward/room with a parent staying with them - ie the father?

What do you think?

dreamingbohemian · 02/05/2012 02:18

I was wondering that too Baby...

Say you have an ELCS first thing in the morning, if the baby is doing fine by that evening would they let the father take him home?

Obviously it raises problems for BF, but for example women express if their babies are in NICU...

Original poster

Loonybun · 02/05/2012 09:23

Wow so many replies!!

It seems like it totally depends on the different units and how busy they are, I think I will have to hope I am lucky...!

I must say I have wondered about the baby being able to be sent home with dad for the night too. I think its a bit of an old fashioned attitude to metaphorically sellotape babies to their mums (if the mum is happy for them to go with their partner / midwife) for the sake of bonding...the first few nights are not going to make any difference from the babies point of view (a someonone pointed out re adoptive babies etc).

I do get the point about breastfeeding but if, like me, you have absolutely no interest or intention of breastfeeding I can't see why a partner taking the baby home overnight or staying in a childrens ward with them would be an issue.

I think perhaps its a difficult one because lots of women would be horrified at the thought of the baby sleeping away from them and then there's people like me who think "give me the rest!!" So its hard to implement a policy as such, and also budgets are restrictive.

OP posts:

Convert · 02/05/2012 09:44

I spent the first night after my EMCS in intensive care and I would have given anything to be with DS instead of him being babysat in SCBU. I didn't get any sleep because they needed to check my blood pressure every 30 mins (I had pre eclampsia) and do other checks all night.
The next morning I was able to go back to the ward and from then on, I was in there for 5 days, I looked after him with no help from the midwives. If he wanted feeding I just used the blanket wrapped around him to pick him up.
I'm struggling a little to understand all the posts that are in favour of leaving your newborn so you can sleep for a couple of hours. I also got up to get bottles for DS. Surely the midwives are there to help you deliver, not to be maternity nurses.

blackteaplease · 02/05/2012 09:52

Convert that's a bit harsh. It's a postnatal ward for postnatal care. Staffed by midwifes, who will assist you to care for your baby as much as they can dependent on staffing levels. The labour ward is for delivering babies.

I realise that everyone is different and has different needs but the OP has quite specific problems that are exacerbated by lack of sleep.

Convert · 02/05/2012 09:56

Sorry, didn't mean to be so blunt. I understand OP has said she has some health problems and that lack of sleep led to PND last time but as it's only for a night or two and then the father will be helping after that.

Essene · 02/05/2012 09:58

Stuff that Convert. i didn't have any CS, just 4 VBs. My first birth was a difficult one and I had to go all the care of ds myself as the ward was so full. By the time I had ds2 though, I knew what was important. I was the only one on the ward (!) and dh damn well insisted that the midwives saw to my son if he cried in the night so that I could have one proper night's sleep before going home and starting a lifetime's worth of care. Dd and ds3 I did care for myself though, but I can well understand why people would argue for the midwives to care for the child for one night after a difficult birth or an all night labour.

Convert · 02/05/2012 10:03

I just really think that after just being born, the person your baby needs is you. Even if you don't get any sleep it is just for a couple of nights.
My first son I didn't have any choice but my other two babies I didn't want any one taking them away from me.
Surely a nights missed sleep is actually one of the smallest sacrifices you will have to make!

DialMforMummy · 02/05/2012 10:19

Convert clearly each to their own. Getting sleep was absolutely essential for me and I was worried that I would be heading to PND without this handful of hours of sleep. I'd go as far as saying that without it, I am not sure I would have been as relaxed and chilled with him.

monkeymoma · 02/05/2012 10:20

you also have to care for your child the next day convert, and by the time I had my CS I'ld already missed 2 nights sleep, at some point I needed to heal so I could take him home and care for him, I think your post was a bit harsh, the MWs took him to me for a feed then swaddled him till morning, he was alseep too I doubt he was over thinking it either!

blackteaplease · 02/05/2012 10:21

I agree, the one thing I wanted to avoid was emcs as I have sleep problems and didn't want to spend 2 nights on a post natal ward. That is what I ended up with and I was so grateful that the mw was able to wheel dd away to allow me to get a precious few hours on the second night having had 2/3 hours sleep the first night.

ShowOfHands · 02/05/2012 10:33

I've had two emcs after very long labours (one I also had an epsiotomy wound after failed ventouse and manual rotation) and I self cared for both dc at all times. I was up and about and moving around within 4hrs each time. Getting up asap is recommended. Please don't think a spinal necessarily means lying in bed numb. They wear off quickly. I had full sensation in recovery.

I had no help as the midwives prioritised care. Women with additional care needs like you were helped a lot however and one woman (epileptic, needed sleep) was woken only for feeds and the baby slept at the nurses' station.

I liked having the dc with me. BFing being established relied on this for me and as I fed lying down, I actually got more sleep as I only woke to latch them on.

5madthings · 02/05/2012 10:36

i think your dh taking the baby home is a great idea! if baby is fine and has been checked over etc they are allowed home 5 hrs after birth i think? maybe 4 actually, depends on the hospital, i would be asking about this, you need to stay in obviously but no reason for the baby not go home with daddy, they can have some quality bonding time

and converst the op has medical issues which necessitate her sleeping, so i think she is perfectly reasonable for wondering if there will be any help or what her options are.

tbh i was on such a high after having my babies i couldnt sleep, but oh how i wished i could.

and its not just one nights missed sleep is it, it can be for months or even years depending on your baby. the op is having a major operation and has good reason to be thinking of preserving her sleep when she can so she is in the best possible condition to care for her baby.

ArcticRain · 02/05/2012 10:36

I don't regret them taking my baby . I was two days without sleep . I was in shock after the crash section . Hearing them call out the crash team and all the alarms convinced me my baby had died and I was going to too . I had a general , had a cathater in and was on morphine . If I had to have two more days of no sleep I wouldn't have been any use to my DD and probably wouldn't have managed to establish breastfeeding .

I imagine I would also have felt the same after a long drawn out vaginal birth.

Peopled experiences are different . Some people need more time . It really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of child rearing .

Meglet · 02/05/2012 10:43

convert but it's not just a couple of missed nights sleep. It's a case of trying to recover from an operation before you get home. Once a mother gets home she won't start to get any sleep. Second time around I knew my priority in hospital was to rest and recover as once I walked through my front door it would all be up to me.

FWIW I know several older women (including mum) who all breastfed for months but had the babies in the hospital nursery overnight during their stays. So I think it's possible to have some peace and quiet to sleep and recover without ruining bf.

monkeymoma · 02/05/2012 10:46

I would have fallen asleep on top on him in shock/exhaustion and smothered him when trying to BF if I hadn't slept that night

frasersmummy · 02/05/2012 10:47

I think like any other job it depends on who you get as your midwife

I had ds at 10pm and had him with me all that night but then he wouldnt settlte the next night . I remember asking a midwife what I should do to help him settle. She said quite bluntly.. I could take him and settle him but its your baby and you have to learn how..after all you will be going home tomorrow and wont have anyone to do it for you. I wanted to say I didnt bloody ask you to take him just to give me some tips..

a few hours later the shift changed and one of the midwives came and said.. oh he is really unsettled would you like me to take him, setttle him and you can get some sleep. I asked her what she would do so that I would know what to do. Her response... you are doing everything right .. he is just new and you are going home tomorrow .. you will cope better if I take him just niow and let you get some sleep

Original poster

Loonybun · 02/05/2012 10:59

I can totally understand women wanting to keep their baby with them. But equally I do think, if like me, you had a difficult birth or a late heavy duty epidural with the effects of a spinal at 11pm at night, leaving you on your own to cope itsnt a good practice. How are you meant to care for your baby ifyou have just had surgery or your feeling in your legs etc hasn't come back yet? (That was my experience with my dd).

I do think getting over a cs or difficult vaginal birth is helped by having a proper nights sleep, I think if I could get my energy levels up a bit before returning home in those critical first few nights then I'd recover more quickly and therefore cope with the baby and sleepless nights better at home afterwards.

Convert thanks for your post, my lack of sleep issue is made worse by my medical conditions and I do feel that a good nights sleep to recover would be of more benefit to me and my ds long term in terms of energy and pnd etc than struggling around like an exhausted zombie trying to do it all myself.

But I will see what happens.

OP posts:

Henwelly · 02/05/2012 11:04

An ELCS is very different to emergency ones where you have already gone through exhausting labour too. It also depends on when in the day you section is - mine was planned for 8am but didnt happen until 3pm so I was still on morphine during the night.

My first was hideous, crash section awful midwives and consultants (one midwife was lovely and actually came and apologised to me for the awful way I had been treated) - they offered virtually zero help and the ward was nearly empty so couldnt blame that.

With my next child it was a different hospital and they were amazing. The actual section was relaxed and lovely. The help on the ward was excellent and you never felt that you were a burden.

During the first night they took DD a few times and sat with her on the nurses station - she was waking every 30 mins and I kept falling asleep with her on me, they dont allow co sleeping at my hospital so they sat with her upright - I was very grateful as I really wasn't able to deal with her.

I was up and about in the morning, again the help was excellent, they helped me have a shower and really looked after me, without me asking.

I was able to go the following morning - this ward was absolutly packed to the rafters and they were literally doing a one in one out but I never felt they were to busy.

blackteaplease · 02/05/2012 11:08

I suppose that the main difference between ELCS and EMCS is that ELCS is carried out during the day without any trial of labour - therefore hopefully your spinal will have worn off by night time. This will allow you to be more mobile but doesn't solve your need for sleep.

blackteaplease · 02/05/2012 11:09

Cross posts!

duchesse · 02/05/2012 11:14

Convert, what my baby needed after she was born was strong drugs, ventilation and nurses and doctors. In an ideal world she wouldn't have been born with an infection but that's what meant I needed a crash CS in the first place. If she'd been kept with me she would have died.

I would imagine that statistically more CS babies need special care, not because they were born by CS but because they had a condition that required them to be born by CS.

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