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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

if you've had an elcs will they look after the baby at night? even for the first night?

100 replies

Loonybun · 30/04/2012 22:43

Ok I know most mums want to keep their babies with them all the time.

But I have thyroid and pituitary problems and after a c section I will need to sleep. Am I destined to manage on my own with ds overnight or will the midwives take ds away so I can sleep if I ask them to?

Any experiences welcome :)

Dh is going to be home with me for 4 weeks when I get home and is prepared to do most of night time feeds. I can't catch up on sleep during the day - tried it with dd and I just can't nap.

Lack of sleep is the biggest issue for me right now.

OP posts:

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wolvesarejustoldendaydogs · 01/05/2012 12:59

Loopy - it's natural to be worried. I think prepare for the worst but hope for the best - that's what I did with DCs1 and 2 (the letter to the head of midwifery) and things turned out much easier than I expected. With DC3, she came early, before I'd written the letter! But things were still okay.

Discussing with your midwife sounds like a good idea. Good luck, I am sure all will go well.

DialMforMummy · 01/05/2012 13:10

I had DS1 on a Sunday morning so had not slept all night. On the the Sunday night I was exhausted and LO was not settling despite the fact he had been fed, changed etc... I rang for the midwife and begged her (in tears) to take him for a few hours as I was so desperate (had a emcs). They took him for a few hours while I sank into a black hole of exhaustion slept.
I am pg now with DS2 and when I asked (in a antenatal NHS class) if they would do this again, they said no because apparently it's not good for mother to child bonding. I did point out that wanting to have a few hours kip after such a draining experience was not unreasonable and it would be nice to have the choice, but hey it's policy innit.
I am sure that if you beg insist, they will help. Good luck.

dreamingbohemian · 01/05/2012 13:26

Don't worry, I don't think anyone thinks you're terrible for wanting some sleep the first night! I totally agree that it's madness that women are expected to cope all on their own after major surgery, and possibly after not having slept for days due to prolonged labour. It seems really unfair that if you're in a midwife unit, with no complications, you get a private room and your partner can stay and help, but if you have major surgery you're left all on your own!

I hope you can get some extra help.

It's really possible you might only be there one night, with an ELCS. I think I would just prepare myself for missing one night of sleep and make plans for recuperating the next days at home. I think depression is more likely to kick in when things are worse than you've prepared for (just my personal experience).

Ragwort · 01/05/2012 13:29

I had loads of help after my EMCS - was given a private room, DS was looked after all night for at least three nights - but it was exceptionally quiet on the maternity ward at the time so that might have been part of the reason.

Sorry, not much help but just sharing my experience.

poppy283 · 01/05/2012 19:01

The night after Dd was born by emcs she kept gagging, because they don't gave the mucus squeezed out of them like a normal birth. I couldn't relax as it's quite a troubling sound and I kept thinking she was choking, so mws suggested they took her to their station so I could get some sleep. I woke up about 2.5hrs latert and went to get her because I missed her :)

ilovesprouts · 01/05/2012 19:04

i had emcs ds1 was in my room but the first night went to scbu has he was making funny noises ,but was bk in the morning

issimma · 01/05/2012 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EssentialFattyAcid · 01/05/2012 19:06

I had almost no help - I think if you are prepared to make a fuss you will get more help tbh. I wish I had.

QuickLookBusy · 01/05/2012 19:10

I had help with both of mine. One was emcs, the other planned.

With the second CS I was so high on the morphine I don't remember a thing about the first night. The nurses were giggling at me in the morning, telling me I was totally out of it but chatting away to myself. They thankfully took DD away and looked after her. I had no problems breastfeeding, just to reassure you {if you are thinking of BF}

monkeymoma · 01/05/2012 19:13

I spent the night in recovery, I was OUT of it, they put DS to the breast without my consent while I was out of it and otherwise looked after him till the morning

PineappleBed · 01/05/2012 19:14

It'll depend entirely on the hospital and the individual members of staff on duty. Many hospitals are not staffed to do this, especially with no warning, so nice midwives will help and crap ones won't. I'd ask your midwife/consultant/friendly nurse at your next appointment so it can all be planned.

If they say no you could see if you could book a private room and ask for your DH or other friend/family member to stay with you and do the caring.

Good luck!

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 19:16

I have had an emergency section and a planned. Both times I was able if I wanted to hand the babies over to the health care assistants and midwives. ..I did after the emergency one but not after the planned. I was ok and more alert that time....and felt uneasy for some reason so went with my instincts.

TheCrackFox · 01/05/2012 19:21

I had an ELC and was left to get on with it - the midwife would a swear the buzzer about 2 hrs after I had pressed it. They were useless, sorry.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 01/05/2012 19:22

I should point out that I did ask for help...I think you have to. If they don't hear you ask then they wont offer..

lisad123 · 01/05/2012 19:24

Hate to be bearer of bad news, I couldn't move after my Ecs, and buzzed the midwife to help me lift and feed dd1. They never came and so had to ask one of the other mums, more than once

Nevercan · 01/05/2012 19:31

With dd1 they were too busy at night after my EMCS and I was handed baby and hen left to it which was awful. However DD2 was born during the day after ELCS and they were brilliant - pot luck I think unfortunately

DaisySteiner · 01/05/2012 19:33

"It'll depend entirely on the hospital and the individual members of staff on duty. Many hospitals are not staffed to do this, especially with no warning, so nice midwives will help and crap ones won't."

That's made me a bit It's not fair to say ones who won't help are crap It will depend a lot on staffing levels too and the needs of other mums and babies on the ward. When I worked on a post natal ward I would certainly help if I could but sometimes you just can't! I've had night shifts where there have been 2 members of staff to look after 24 mums and 24 babies, most nights I didn't sit down. I certainly didn't spend my time drinking tea and eating whilst ignoring buzzers going off!

CaptainHetty · 01/05/2012 19:45

Nothing to do with 'crap' midwives - that's quite offensive - if the ward is exceptionally busy, looking after a baby for the night so someone can sleep simply isn't going to be an option!

Contrary to popular belief, the majority of midwives are more than happy to help the women in their care in any way they can - what people seem to forget is that they're incredibly over stretched and looking after many women at once. If you want completely guaranteed one on one care the only way you're going to get it is to pay for it.

issimma · 01/05/2012 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fizzylemonade · 01/05/2012 19:56

I had emergency c section then elective one second time round.

You can put the crib right next to the bed so you can lift your baby out, it is easier with a second child as you aren't worried about doing something wrong like you are with the first. It is a bit harder but it is only for the first night when you can't get out of bed.

The midwives do help if they can and you should be in a room near the nurses station due to having the c section.

They assist you at the bedside, I personally never had my baby taken from me.

Interestingly I had my two children in different parts of the country. Where I am now they are more accepting of co-sleeping so where fine about me not returning my baby immediately to the crib, just came and removed him from my arms and popped him back in the crib. It is difficult (but not impossible) to lean over to the crib so the less times I had to do it that first night the better.

WidowWadman · 01/05/2012 20:03

I had both my children taken to the nurses station for a few hours to allow me some rest.

Lunarlyte · 01/05/2012 20:06

Don't be frightened by the ELCS. Its hard not to be (I was, and it was a maternal request CS!!) but now I'm through it, I realise how great it was. In fact, I realised as soon as the midwife said to me 'your baby is about 10 seconds away.' It was one of the best experiences of my life.

And as for pain/being able to look after your baby after major surgery: it's sounds weird, especially with regard to your comparisons (both relevant) but you have so many lovely pain meds to help you manage the pain, that I was in less pain than I was straight after my VB with DD1.

The trick is to manage the pain. Don't let time lapse between doses. Set the alarm 4-hourly on your phone on the ward if you need to. And enjoy the oramorph (liquid morphine) they give you in the first 24h post-section!

AThingInYourLife · 01/05/2012 20:07

This is a real problem - keeping new mothers in hospital away from their husbands who could help them, but refusing to give them the help they need.

Women my Mum's age always talk about how relaxing it was in hospital, because their babies were in a nursery and they got to rest until they came home.

I always point out that being in hospital now is horrible - your husband is kicked out and you are left alone all night with a brand new baby you are struggling to latch on, you feel like utter shite, are completely exhausted, and your only help is (maybe) at the other end of a buzzer.

Then you and the baby finally drop off at 4am, but of course have to be woken at 6am, because that's the hospital routine.

When you've had a section there is no option to go home, you just have to suffer through it.

Meglet · 01/05/2012 20:14

athinginyourlife You are so right about older women having it easier. Mum and all the older women I worked with were (rightly IMO) horrified that babies were all in with the new mums and left to get on with it. Mum was so angry on my second day in hospital she went spoke to the head midwife, who was lovely and told me to buzz whenever I needed help.

FWIW I had shit treatment after my ECMS. After my ELCS I refused to get up to do nappies for the first 36hrs, the midwives hated me for it and tried to get me to do it but I said no. I figured I would never have to see them again so as long as I was polite I really didn't care if they thought I was a mardy cow.

ArcticRain · 01/05/2012 21:35

I was really lucky with my midwives. They were great . I had a crash section under a general , and both nights they took my baby away (offered), for about 5 hours . I was on morphine . For the other hours , they told me to buzz , and came within m

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