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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

pain of childbirth

94 replies

bez · 20/10/2003 14:56

I was wondering what is the most painful part of labour. Is it the abdominal pain from contractions or is it in the pain down below?

I know its meant to sting or burn when the head crowns and I can't stand stinging pain, but a lot of people I have spoken to said they don't remember stinging or burning or don't remember pain in the vaginal area until after they had been stitched.

However I've seen women on discovery health screaming more as the baby head crowns, and yet I've also noticed that they often stop the gas and air when pushing so maybe this is the least painful bit?

OP posts:

dadslib · 20/10/2003 15:06

Message withdrawn

Angeliz · 20/10/2003 15:16

for me i can't remember feeling anything down below, just the contractions! I had stitches so it was obviously painful afterwards but at the time it was the contractions..ouch!I think it's the sheer concentration and effort when you're pushing that makes it impossible to do anything else.good luck It sounds so trite but honest, you do forget all about it in seconds when the baby is out!(well maybe not seconds but y'get me drift!)

zebra · 20/10/2003 15:17

The CTX were the most awful bit. There is a burning when the baby comes out, but it was pretty trivial compared to the CTX. I wonder if the women on Discovery are just playing to the camera?!! Then again, CTX can also happen to be most violent as the baby is coming out, so may be coincidence?

Sorry, 100% of my pain was in my body, Dadslib, very little in the head. I have easily dismissed the pain of broken arms, large gashes that resulted in large scars, repititive strain injury.... Nothing about childbirth was dismissable!!

magnum · 20/10/2003 15:19

When I had my ds the contractions were agonising but the actual pushing the baby out was a breeze. Everyone else I spoke to said it was really painful to push the baby out, but I disagreed. When I went into labour with my dd in June the contractions were quite bearable. I got to 10cm thinking "this is a breeze" as I knew the next bit wouldn't hurt....or so I thought. It was the most unbearable pain, a mixture of stinging and burning. I don't know why I experience it this time and not the first as I had exactly the same pain relief (gas & air & pethidine) both times. Maybe it was the timing of the pethidine injection. All pain is soon forgotten when you hold your baby for the first time!

musica · 20/10/2003 15:20

I thought the worst bits were the 'final descent' and getting the shoulders out, and then the afterpains which were TERRIBLE!!!

pie · 20/10/2003 15:22

Gotta agree with Zebra about the pain NOT being in my head, especially when the contractions wake you up violently in the middle of the night. Its like the most tremendous powerful feeling of your body taking over to do its 'thing'.

As to the original question, it all hurts but there was a certain amount of relief when the 2nd stage began...ring of fire itself wasn't too bad.

You don't have to stop gas and air when pushing, it is just harder to concentrate on holding the damn thing.

pie · 20/10/2003 15:23

Gotta agree with musica too about the afterpains!

ThomCat · 20/10/2003 15:26

It does hurt - a lot but I had armed myself with as many stories as possible so it never got as bad as I thought it might. With the contractions -I projectile vomitted and had to pace the house like a mad woman and throw myself onto my hands and knees as each contraction came. You go into a different zone and you're not really with it as such you feel slightly out there. I just got through the contractions, it wasn't pleasant but remember that each contraction you go through means that baby is one step nearer being in the world with you. The stinging burning was there with me but as I knew it was going to be happen I was prepared and therefore didn't feel scared or panic. I think it was the knowledge of these things that got me through the whole process and at no stage did I want gas and air or any pain relief.

Blu · 20/10/2003 15:32

I didn't find any of it particularly painful, just a sensation of something out of control and immense going on, but I only have one experience to go by. I did 28 hours including 3.5 hours pushing on TENS, breathing and pool. No gas and air. It felt a bit like the really difficult stretches on a big mountain walk when you really feel uncomfortable, and you might not be able to go another step, but you do, bit by bit, and you never choose to turn round and go back. I also made a lot of noise...nothing like I hear on Holby City, more James Herriot. And it wasn't pain, it was an extension of the breathing and helped enormously.
BUT I did the last couple of pushes with an epidural (and ventouse)as DS was well and truly stuck and by that time I couldn't bear to lie on my back and panicked, and insisted on an epidural! So can't comment on crowning.

ThomCat · 20/10/2003 15:33

dadslib - 50% of the pain is in the mind!!!!!!
Bloody hell - haven't you learnt to never say things like that to a woman? You'd get lynched if you said that around my mates!
It's not in the mind, I admit some women may panic and not feel in control of the pain which must make things worse for them but I don't think you can make a sweeping statement like that and be allowed to get away with it!

Hughsie · 20/10/2003 15:33

It is definitely very painful but not as bad as I thought it would be - with ds1 the stitches following an episiotomy were far more painful than birth and I sufferde for days. ds2 was a homebirth and I had very little pain relief and whilst I remeber that burning sensation I think the second stage contractions and ppushing down was the most painful bit - + you are tired by this time too. It is true that you do forget a bit or we would never do it again. It is by far the most painful thing that has ever happened to me though.

dadslib - I think you are great for having the guts to post on this thread - that it not meant to be sarcastic. You must have known people would respond to the 50% comment !! I think us women are lucky to experience birth and carrying a child as it is amazing - My dh was in awe of what I managed to do and I felt terrible for him having to watch me in pain.

magnum · 20/10/2003 15:36

Think all this goes to prove that every single birth is different! At the end of the day it doesn't last forever and the reward is amazing.

pidge · 20/10/2003 15:46

Well, I never got to experience the pushing bit, as I was on a full epidural by that point, so I can't comment on that. The idea that "50% of pain is in the head" is a nonsense, but there is definitely a psychological element to how much pain you can tolerate, so to defend dadslib, maybe that's what he meant! I had 48 hours of contractions every 10-15 minutes, then 8 hours of full-on contractions every 2 minutes which felt like my body was being blown apart, and as long as I thought I was progressing towards producing the baby I was just about hanging in there 'in a different zone' as Thomcat said. But when I realised that I wasn't progressing (due to posterior presentation as it eventually turned out), and after all that time and agony was only at 4cm and not dilating at all I was suddenly desperate, couldn't cope at all, completely went to pieces and the 20 minutes till they got the epidural in were the most desperate of my life.

I was utterly obsessed with the labour for weeks afterwards and could think of little else, but I still hope that if I did it again and if the labour was actually progressing, then it would be manageable. So to that extent your mind is important.

Dahlia · 20/10/2003 15:49

I agree about the afterpains! I was in complete agony - they were very nearly as bad as contractions, and no reward at the end of them.

LIZS · 20/10/2003 15:49

Sorry DL definitely not in the mind at all.

First time round it all hurt - ds was back to back - but Tens helped a lot but could not get comfy at all. With dd I was fine and contractions manageable until towards end of 1st stage when had a contraction which literally winded me (almost fell off the birthing ball!!). Transition was excruciating both times and pushing - it felt as if my insides were turning inside out and the pressure in back side and across pelvis was immense. Didn't feel a sting but then had local anaesthetic for episiotomy and the stitches were sore. I had my gas and air through second stage and while being stitched with ds, none at all with dd.

2under2 · 20/10/2003 15:53

found the pain from the contractions far worse than the 'down below' part of it all - the crowning bit was good really because you know it's all going to be over shortly - plus it seemed like a piece of cake compared with contractions. I don't actually remember any stinging pain from it. Have to agree with the afterpains comments - for me afterpains were as bad as contractions but without the 'useful pain' part. Ideally I'd like an epidural after the birth please.

Freddiecat · 20/10/2003 16:08

Blu is hardcore.

Contractions v painful - remember thinking just before Pethadine took effect that I didn't know how much more I could take - then I went into a druggy haze.

I pushed for 50 mins 5 hours after Peth and had no gas and air (didn't want it). I remember that each contraction hurt lots but the pain itself was overtaken by the physical sensation of needing to push which was far stronger (and didn't hurt as such).

Midwife gave me a local anaesthetic "down there" just before I crowned - never heard of that before. It meant I had no stinging just this overwhelming pushing thing.

I made lots of groaning until MW told me to put the effort into pushing not groaning!

Whole thing was not too painful really. TENS was great and I think this is a "pain in the mind thing" as it induces endorphins. TENS broke tho so had Peth,

elliott · 20/10/2003 16:50

Agree with most others here that contractions worse - especially at transition. Second stage not too bad as I could feel the progress of the baby, whereas at the end of the first stage I felt very out of control and didn't know it was the end..... Can't remember crowning, I think it was a bit like ripping a plaster off(!) - take a big breath and get through it and its all over - wonderful!

elena2 · 20/10/2003 17:58

The bit where the baby actually came out was the bit I dreaded most but in actuality I found that bit the most satisfying part of labour with both my ds's.

You have these really painful contractions for what feels like ages, you can't tell how far progressed you are until the midwife examines you, and you have no control whatsoever over the speed of them.

Whereas when you are pushing, it is very intense, but so rewarding, as the more effort you put in (usually, if no complications) decides how quickly it is all over and you see your beautiful baby.

Good luck, and enjoy it, it will be the best day of your life!

CnR · 20/10/2003 18:04

I was induced and then had an emergency c section when that didn't really work 3 days later, so I had no knowledge of how painful the actual birth bit is. I do know, however, that the contractions were an awful pain, and certainly the worst pain I have ever ever known, to the point of makign me unable to stand or move, and being physically sick. I also didn't really have what I would have thought of as contractions as such as there were no real peaks and troughs, just one long continuos pain - is that common with inductions, or normal anyway?

MIL has shingles at the moment and she says even the pain of that is not as bad as childbirth!

nursie · 20/10/2003 18:36

I remember thinking that the only way I was going to be able to cope with the pain of contractions, and the fact that they went on for days ( in my case, so don't panic! )was to become best friends with the gas and air tube. Lovely stuff!
Didn't have a transition stage, went straight to pushing, which came as a big relief. No crowning as ds got stuck and needed ventouse to be born.
Really want a water birth next time!

Mingles · 20/10/2003 18:44

I wanted a water birth, but dd was posterior, so I had lots of back pain and slow dilation. Ended up with an epi, which was a god send. Contractions hurt like hell ( I am still waiting to forget the pain, like everyone says you do!!) but I really do not remember any pain, tingles, burning 'down below' at all. I do remember feeling dd head as it crowned and it feeling stretched and uncomfortable, that's about all (epi was wearing off during the pushing). But as Magnum says, these responses just go to show how different everyones experience is!

EmmaTMG · 20/10/2003 19:53

Personally I found the 'getting them out' stage the easiest and not really painful, to me it was more like an immense pressure down there. The contractions themselves were awful because of the feeling of having no control over what was going on.

Ghosty · 20/10/2003 19:55

I never got to pushing stage but do remember feeling that the contractions were a positive pain (unlike something like wisdom teeth extraction which was negative pain IYSWIM!!) ... and that each pain (although bad) was a step closer to having my baby. Of course after 3 days of them I didn't feel that positive anymore!!
LOL ... Dadslib ... absolutely classic comment ... Am ROFL!!!

ninja · 20/10/2003 19:58

The contractions and you don't necessarily forget it when you hold your beautiful baby - don't feel guilty if all you think is I'M NOT GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN!! Prepare your dp/dh/whoever wil be with you as I think they can be very shell shocked, scream as much as you want and is you get a baby at the end think how fantastic you are whatever way it came out!

Good Luck

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