pain of childbirth

[bez]

I was wondering what is the most painful part of labour. Is it the abdominal pain from contractions or is it in the pain down below?

I know its meant to sting or burn when the head crowns and I can't stand stinging pain, but a lot of people I have spoken to said they don't remember stinging or burning or don't remember pain in the vaginal area until after they had been stitched.

However I've seen women on discovery health screaming more as the baby head crowns, and yet I've also noticed that they often stop the gas and air when pushing so maybe this is the least painful bit?

Oh , the head

Mine was totally painless - but then I was lucky enough to have a section!

Marsup, have to say I spent a day trying to work out whether I was in labour or just having strong BHs, because they were supposed to be 'so different'...turned out I was.

Will draw a veil over ensuing labour - trust yours WILL be brilliant.

And I got BHs, really strong painful ones, from about the fourth month.

(all this applies to first preg, btw).

really? lucky?

For me I found the contractions extremely intense from start to finish. The second stage was very satisfying and I couldn't have cared less about the stinging just as long as the contractions stopped.
Ds1- induced- contractions stopped once I got to the second stage although I didn't tell anyone incase the midwives stopped the whole thing. He was 9lbs and was pushed out very easily and calmly in two pushes.
Ds2-natural- contractions (not me) finally pushed him out in two pushes after my waters were broken for me.
So all in all contractions are your biggest worry and the second stage is simple and almost enjoyable in a 'thank god this is nearly over kind of a way'. But then both times my body seemed to be doing the pushing for me. Good luck.

I feel incredibly lucky to have had a section. I really, honestly do. And I didn't have to fight for it or anything - I had placenta praevia so fall into the category of 'good' sections and so never had anyone telling me I was a rubbish person for having one. I had such a lovely, peaceful, calm, painless, quick birth, no bullying midwives shouting at me or any of the other awful things I have read about on here and I was 'myself' throughout which was also important to me - ie no screaming or losing control etc. The more I read about 'wildernesses of pain' (or even 'good' births!) the more grateful I am to my wonderful anaesthetist and obstetrician for giving me such a fantastic, safe, easy and painless birth. I truly wouldn't dream of doing it any other way in future.

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Bloss - would it be better for you to concentrate on the positives of a C/S in your case? Having read about your labours I do think that you would be unlikely to achieve a vaginal delivery because you got to full dilatation with a head that would not descend on 2 occasions. The pain you described was horrendous - as I said at the time I believe that women who do not progress well in labour suffer much more severe pain.
Perhaps you could think of what you would like to happen regards delivery next time such as, music playing, being admitted for C/S in the morning rather than the night before. Immediate skin-to-skin. Home in 2 days. These kind of things might be the things you could think about rather than the negative thoughts about something you do not have the power to control.
As you know, I am an advocate of vaginal delivery where possible. However, I am eternally grateful that babies are able to be delivered by C/S when the need arises. Next time around, you might be able to look at C/S positively, having some control over your delivery IYKWIM.

Bloss, if you do want some positive thoughs about elective cs and ways to make it happen the way you want then do mail me. I didn't expect or plan to have a cs - though I was always sure I wanted good pain relief! - but it took me about two seconds to adjust once the PP was diagnosed. Once I realised it was totally unavoidable I actually really liked knowing exactly how I was going to give birth from early on (as I've said before, I loathe surprises!). I imagine that an elective is totally different from an emergency cs. You can have music playing if you like, have your baby delivered onto your tummy, breastfeed immediately, be with your husband, even ask your anaesthetist to tell you jokes if you get nervous (well, that's what I did anyway). The only bit I didn't like was the weird sensation of numbness in my body - so I imagined I was in a yoga class during the relaxation and that the heaviness and immobility was 'relaxation'. I also did some deep breathing. Once my ds was born and I got to see and hold him I forgot about anything happening to my body - it was wonderful. The stitching was incredibly quick and my dh and I held our son for hours afterwards. I wasn't tired at all because I hadn't been through labour so felt totally 'present' and in the moment all the time. I got the feeling back quickly too - I don't suppose I could have walked straight away, but then I didn't want to. I enjoyed being wheeled about while holding my baby - felt rather queenly, in fact! It hurt a bit afterwards, yes, but nothing that painkillers didn't deal with effectively. I think I could have gone home earlier - my friend went home after two days. I also went in the same morning after spending a lovely 'last' night at home (escaped from hospital for it) having dinner and a glass of wine with dh, and then going into hospital together. My obstetrician was very nice and I trusted her totally, which was important to me. I'd met her before and she treated me like an equal,not just a patient. You certainly sound like you've had two awful experiences but your third delivery could really be very different.

BTW I was never 'frightened' of labour - just always knew this was something I wouldn't like at all. Others compare it to the 'exhilaration' of running a marathon or climbing a mountain, but both of things strike me as totally appalling experiences, though I am assured that other people enjoy them! I think it is a lot to do with not having a mystical streak in my body so never believed that childbirth would give me one, plus physical challenges have never appealed to me. I have always preferred to lie rather than sit, sit rather than stand, and walk rather than run.... hmmm, no wonder my son is such a slug!

Labour, whatever part of it, is horrible, vile, WRONG and I never ever want to do it again ever.

It may sound daft, but I find myself imagining another way to give birth, in a world not created by something that hated females so much. How about this? What if, as we got more and more pregnant, a line began to appear down the middle of our tummies...as it got closer to the due date, this line would deepen and become a sort of cleft. When the time was right, it would just split apart (fairly painlessly of course) like some kind of giant fruit or a pod and the baby could be delivered. As soon as s/he was out, the two sides of our tummies would 'snap' back together (midwives beware) and in a matter of days, everything would heal up, leaving perhaps just a faint scar line to show that you had fruited. Hey ho.

Cha, I agree there must be a better method. I always wanted to have kittens - a small number, say three at once, just very small little bundles. I promise I'd lick them afterwards too. The only problem is breastfeeding - you'd need three teats.

there must be a better method for the conception too

Haven't finished reading all replies, but what I have read so far is fascinating. Obviously all births are different, but it hadn't occured to me that people would have such diverse experiences of the pain.

TBH I don't remember which was the worst bit - I think it was the actual delivery bit. The bit that stands out with my second was the local anaesthetic for the episiotomy - which I was screaming out for! I remember with my first how much the pain was eased after the episiotomy, and how quickly ds arrived afterwards. But that needle going in was agony.

Overall, it was all very painful, but as like the old cliche, once the baby has arrived, it's all forgotton. Being stitched up for a 3rd degree tear (in addition to the episiotomy) with ds, I was already planning my second!

In a funny way I would be very sad if I never got to go through labour again, and like someone else said, I am honoured to be female and be able to bear and birth babies. I think men miss out on a hugely primal experience. Pain yes, but an incredible experience and one which I would not have missed for anything in the world.

I delivered both my babes with no more than gas and air and would do so again

i can honestly say, the stitching after my 2nd baby was awful. i had been allowed to slightly tear, rather than be cut (as with 1st baby) and was then left for about an hour after the birth before they came to stitch, by which time, that natural immediate euphoria and numbness had worn off.

THATS when i needed the gas and air! but i recovered quickly and sorting out a new baby and 2 year old takes your mind off many things!

regards
rosie

Bloss, I've just read this thread. I had an elective c/section with my second son, because my first was a nightmare (obstructed delivery, induction, no epidural (too early, oh whoops now it's too late) which resulted in permanent problems in the bottom department, so I couldn't have a VBAC for medical reasons. I'm just writing this to reassure you, as Aloha has done, that it was one of the most positive experiences of my life. There was no pain. I felt no tugging. There was no trauma. The anaethetist was lovely and chatted to me all the time, putting me at ease. I was shaking with fear as I was wheeled in, but she soon sorted me out. I was able to cuddle my baby straight away, it was all lovely. And afterwards, the pain was controlled well so I didn't have to feel it. It couldn't have been more different from my first birth, which was like having an operation without anaesthetic. I healed really well. Don't worry if you decide to take this route.

in the last year or so, myself a few friends have all given birth and we all had totally different pregnancies and births. wheni was pregnant i asked every mother the same questions but when i had my experience their advice was not relevant to me. i found contractions very painful but the the actual birth (second stage)quite relieving and not that sore, i had done a lot of yoga vaginal exercises so i am not sure if that helped my vagina to be more flexible as i did not need stitches afterwards. my friend who just recently had a baby, she found the second stage more painful than the actual contractions. she spent most of the time at home dilating without even realising. my other friend was in labour (she thought early stages as she was not in any great pain) and thought she needed to do a poo but infact it was the baby!!! all our first babies and all very different. i was very much into the idea of having as natural as possible birth, in the end i had some pethidine which i quite enjoyed! now when it comes to the next time i really have no hang ups about epidurals, forceps, c-secton. at the end of the day you have waited all that time to see your lovely baby so whatever its exit - let it be!