Silly things people say when your pregnant due to have baby.......

[Scruffyhound]

I was speaking to my DP the other day and the baby is due next Friday (8th April). Im having a strech and sweep on Tuesday and have not had one before. So I told him that its at 9.45am and that if things did get moving then to be ready to move and we would have to sort out a lift for my son from school and chilcare.
He then said well "are we guarenteed a baby on Tuesday?"
I would not mind but I spent 10 mins explaining that it might not work and I had not read much positive feedback for this procedure. I dont have a crystal ball.......
What stilly/stupid things have people said to you?!

I'm 37 wks pg and have had the whole myriad of god you're huge/have you not had it yet/you're blooming etc etc yawn yawn

When a friends dd (21) said the other day 'you're ginourmous' I replied 'and you're ugly' That shut her up and made me feel a bit better for a while (until baby kicked me in the fanjo AGAIN and made me walk like I have a brick between my legs) [hgrin]

Birnam I am 37 weeks too and I hear you. The next person to tell me I am blooming or use the phrase 'ready to pop' (pop?? YUCK) will get their shoes sicked on (epic reflux). I look like shite with extra shite on top and am currently wearing a fetching fatty-poncho-tent from Asda to try and cover the horror.

I feel like I am just a fecking bump and not a person in my own right any more.

This thread has made me laff lots though

Ha ha I'm looking forward to using the 'and you're ugly' comeback, Birnam! (Although I don't know what makes me think I'll be brave enough...

The comments that really get to me at the moment are the ones criticising EVERYTHING I eat and drink - and I'm probably being over-cautious, hardly necking the vodka and raw meat.

One lovely female relative, who also has a child, came out with the following in the same conversation:
*Oh well you can't eat that (a lovely sausage, cooked, piping hot), I'm sure that's banned in pregnancy, you'll poison the baby etc etc
*But of course, if you don't eat that (same sausage) then your baby will have all sorts of allergies. Giving up foods when you are pregnant will give your baby allergies, asthma, excema...

And breathe :)

This is the same relative who everytime I turn down something like caffeine, beer, salami (on my Dr's advice) reliably informs me that she's sure she didn't give anything up when she was pregnant and her DD is fine.

It's the attitude that relatives/colleagues/people on the street know better than the Dr which gets me. They may be right, but it's such a personal thing - I wouldn't dream of commenting on anything passing the lips of a pregnant woman!

I've now had a colleague say "so you'll finish at Xmas then". Erm nope. My due date us a whole three weeks after Xmas and I want to work as long as I can. Did I ask your advice on when to finish?

Also had the assumption that I'll quit altogether (which I won't).

Why do your life choices become public property when you're pregnant?

Unfortunately the stupid comments don't stop once the baby arrives. The other day I had "well, babies are strange, my DD stopped breathing in the bath once, it was terrifying"

Cheers for that, I was already, completely irrationally, checking 15x per day to see if DS is still breathing, now it's more like 30x. [I am slightly paranoid]

I also had "that's not a proper cry, he's fine, leave him" from my DM & DNana, DS was bright red in the face through screaming, doing that horrible breathlessness thing & was actually due a feed, cue a look from me before getting him out of his pram to soothe & feed him.

I take my mad 92 year old gran out for lunch once a week. From her I have repeatedly had "So do you have an actual date yet?" NO you don't get a bloody "actual date", you get a 4-5 week window, do you not actually have kids? (I would LOVE an "actual date").

She is also obsessed with what happens if I should go into labour when we're out - she seems to think that it will all happen in about five minutes and keeps telling me that she doesn't know how to deliver a baby. This is a disturbing enough thought in itself, but she also keeps suggesting she'll have to "bite through the umbilical cord". Because that's a mental image I want, thanks. I work with my brother and the other day she suggested that he might have to deliver it. Again, not really something I want to have to think about.

She's also offered to drive me should I go into labour when we're out together (though she really thinks I should stay home for the whole of the 4-5 week window she doesn't believe in). Um let's see - you're 92, mad, haven't driven for years, don't have a licence, and, as you keep telling me, blind. So actually I think I'll take my chances with me behind the wheel.

Neither of my grannies can get their heads around my home birth plans, despite both of them um having children at home. Mad granny asked me whether I only get to have a hb if I go into labour while I'm at home.

Can't remember what else. She is obsessed with finding out the name we've picked and keeps asking DD, the sneaky cah. Luckily DD (a) doesn't know and (b) is obsessed with her baby brother being a frog so will only tell mad granny that he is called Frog.

Disclaimer: she is not a nice sweet old lady, she is a manipulative harridan and I am very pregnant and angry today

One of the worst I heard was my aunt to my SIL shortly after my SIL had found out that she was both unexpectedly pg and three months along. She and my brother had recently bought a house they were doing up so they'd be doing loads of DIY with various exciting chemicals involved. Aunt said "Oh yes, I did loads of DIY when I was pg with DD2, I've always thought that was probably why she was premature and we had all the problems with her birth." Nice!