Silly things people say when your pregnant due to have baby.......

[Scruffyhound]

I was speaking to my DP the other day and the baby is due next Friday (8th April). Im having a strech and sweep on Tuesday and have not had one before. So I told him that its at 9.45am and that if things did get moving then to be ready to move and we would have to sort out a lift for my son from school and chilcare.
He then said well "are we guarenteed a baby on Tuesday?"
I would not mind but I spent 10 mins explaining that it might not work and I had not read much positive feedback for this procedure. I dont have a crystal ball.......
What stilly/stupid things have people said to you?!

I was a week overdue and met a friend for tea and he said 'Ooh you're big, you'll need to get new maternity clothes soon.'

I wasn't even that big........

LOOOL At sloathy. :P

When pregnant with twins, My Best friends brought her cousin over to talk to me (because she had twins a few years before)

Friend The point is to not get stressed!
Me I'm not.
Friend Well don't worry about the pain. Its nothing.
MeReally?
Friend Yeah. If your breathing right, you barely notice it so don't worry
MeWell thats good to know!

I didn't tell her that i had a one year old sleeping upstairs and if ONE child had caused me that much pain previously i was expecting twice as much of it!
Seriously! If your breathing right you barly notice it. TUT!

And i hate it when people say... Not had it yet?...
Obviously....

Jeez I didnt know that it was possible to be as irritable as I am right now (and in general Im known for my irritability so this must really take the piss).

It's my EDD today and I'm caught in the Hades of phonecalls/texts/facebook dross that is: "oooh any sign of the baby yet??!".

Firstly- if there was, do they think I'd have forgotten to mention it?? (Me: "oh yeah! Now you mention it, I do vaguely remember squeezing a human out of my nethers the other day, but it slipped my mind 'til you just reminded me").
Secondly- If I had sneakily somehow given birth in the 3 hours between being hounded on the phone and was sat here with a newborn, do they really think I'd be wasting precious time/energy on reading and replying to a barrage of nosey texts from ex-colleagues and casual aquaintances? NO! Id be breastfeeding my new baby/bonding/spending time with my husband and ignoring their stupid stalkerish hounding.
Thirdly - do these people not REALISE that preparing to have a baby is like the run-up to doing the London Marathon and 7 'A' levels and your driving test ALL AT THE SAME TIME! In other words... an awful lot of mental and physical prep is needed, which necessitates a calm, quiet and stress-free environment where you can do what you bloody well please (for the last time in your life) and this happens to involve lots of Masterchef on iPlayer, pajama-days, sunbathing, good novels and cupboard-cleaning, and NOT being the victim of stalkerish nosey 'good-natured' harrassment every two f-ing seconds from every tom, dick and harry who suddenly are obsessed with me and the person growing in me.

Rant over. Apologies people. x
ps - Im no royalist but I suddenly feel a kinship with how Kate Middleton must be feeling this week with the frenzy around the run-up to her own 'big day'. Mind you, if I had her money I'd be ok as Id just hide-out in Champney's Spa or get a super-injunction or something.

DD's keyworker at preschool today:

"You look really beautiful today Turtles. Pregnancy suits you".

I don't want somebody that deluded and/or short sighted looking after my child.

I look like a bag of spanners. A large one.

Hahaha Turtles, you are hilarious! Dont make me laugh so much though (at 40wks my pelvic floor can't cope with laughing and remaining continent at the same time!)
I look like the cat's dinner (herring and trout flavour chunks)... AFTER it's been through the cat.

im 32 weeks n gettin fed of
"oooooo how long now???"-errrr same as wat u asked yesterday
"oooo a boy???, wow now u have 1 of each!!!"-geeee u think??
"woahhh 8 weeks to go??, gosh thats gone quick". aye n itll go even quicker if u stop bangin on about it!
"are u not tired, wen do u finish"- of course im tired, i jus come to work for the fun oooh n i need money, u no coz kids dont grow on trees!

geeeez im well aware im pregnant n that ihave a child inside me, so why the daft comments???

oh n another is
" u at it again???" oooh sorry i wasnt aware that im not allowed any more???

I've just found this thread and it's given me no end of amusement...I'm glad it's not just me that feels this way.

I too am in despair at all the "have u had it yet" contact and like has been wittily said above....like u would fail to mention it if u had????? oh yes I forgot about pushing out a watermelon thru a pin hole, silly me....

What makes it worse is when people who have had kids plague u...surely they know they are annoying the shit out of a potentially violent heavily pregnant woman?

And the face stalkers.....for gods sake if I take time out of my day to update you on some random pointless event via my status...then surely you can be secure in the knowledge I would post some sort of news if baby HAD arrived on my status...just to pee people off....maybe I won't share my news and go AWOL for a few weeks....now there's a thought...

1. "i had a miscarriage at 6 months and my friend had a stillborn so i was worried throughout all my pregnancy"
2. "you are huge , you'll never make it 9 months" i was 5 months pg
3. "are you due next week" i was 6 months pg

4."10 weeks is a long time for maternity leave" - my boss said this 5 "is it twins?"

I guess my worst one was from a one of my un-maternal cousins who amongst the lovely flattering cant-wait-to-see-baby comments on facebook posted, "rather you than me love, a wouldnt fancy pushing a melon thru a buttonhole a tell ya! Bet you cant wait to get your figure back!!"
Hahahahaha I let her off though cos altho she loves her neice and nephews she really does not want kids of her own

OMG mittyslave what kind of insensitive fool said no.1 !!

Also, I just remembered I wasnt a fan of being told what I should and shouldnt eat by a pregnant friend. I wasnt a fussy eater beforehand and havent been throughout pregnancy!

your body will never look the same again

i know, can you believe it? oi was 8 months pg. it was a colleague at work...while i was about to go teach my class....so amazing.

beccabop oh yes food/eating commentary that was annoying too....I felt like hiding to eat when I was at work sometimes!

My boss constantly called me a weeble towards the end thinking he was funny (he was not but succeeded at being a total prick) i wasnt even that big to be honest. When i came back from holiday he also had the nerve to say did I look like a beached whale?!! I started making comments loudly about inappropriate his comments were in front of my top boss and also when he made size comments....retorted with well at least my roundness is temporary....what's your excuse. Not seen my p45 yet

I've been toldin the same week....that im too small something must be wrong....and then the next day....I'm huge there must be something wrong.

I had no idea how pregnancy turns OTHER people into such morons and am thankful I've never made such comments to other preg people!

Work colleague (W.C) what are you having?
Me: we are having another boy, which will be lovely. We are very excited about having another baby.
W.C- Ah well, you going to keep going until you get your girl?
Me:

The 'was it planned?'question, other than being rude and assuming DP cannot be responsible enough to use contraception. It's just plain offensive.

'any news/developments?' well actually no! Unless you count my increased discharge? I actually just smile and say 'no, he'll come when he's ready.'

Sorry DP and I!

I'm 41+4 weeks today and of course have been getting the 'have you had it yet' messages.

Yesterday I spoke to a friend who is having a bbq party on Saturday. I had just had a sweep and was feeling really down because this baby is just not moving and I will have to be induced on Monday.

Her reply? 'Yay, you can come to the bbq on Saturday!'

Yes because going to your bbq is at the forefront of my mind right now, never mind my longed-for natural birth!

A (male) colleague asked me when I was about 7 months pg: "did you feel the baby go in?"
Me:
C: "I'm not being rude, I'm just wondering because if you didn't feel it going in you'll feel the bugger coming out!"
Me:

I've aready had "our baby" from sil (not the one that posts on MN :) ) and I'm only 14 weeks. It's not "your" baby it's me and my dps baby.

Oh god. Today sil said "that's my baby I'm there" and "I'll have a baby in the family but I won't be able to breast feed it"

WTF? That's a random one!

"that's my baby in there" sorry for typo.

Bloody bizarre thing to say - really odd

no offence but can I suggest that you both ensure visits by these in laws are supervised at all times?