Silly things people say when your pregnant due to have baby.......

[Scruffyhound]

I was speaking to my DP the other day and the baby is due next Friday (8th April). Im having a strech and sweep on Tuesday and have not had one before. So I told him that its at 9.45am and that if things did get moving then to be ready to move and we would have to sort out a lift for my son from school and chilcare.
He then said well "are we guarenteed a baby on Tuesday?"
I would not mind but I spent 10 mins explaining that it might not work and I had not read much positive feedback for this procedure. I dont have a crystal ball.......
What stilly/stupid things have people said to you?!

I hate that everyone thinks they have the right to stick their hands on your belly just because your pregnant, random strangers asking to feel the bump!?

And the best comment I had when pregnant was, oh don't cross your legs when your sitting down as it wraps the umbilical cord around the baby's neck...At first I laughed thinking she was joking only to be met by a stern look and a story of her sisters child being born with the cord wrapped all because she crossed her legs.

Random stranger: "Are you having a boy or a girl?"
Me: "We chose not to find out..."
Random stranger: "OMG you can't not find out!"
Me: "Err, excuse you, yes I can!"

Sister's friend: "What are you having?"
Me: "A baby..."
Sister's friend: "No, a boy or a girl?"
Me: "We chose not to find out."
Sister's friend: "Well was the heartbeat a train or a horse?"
Me: "I'm not telling you."
Sister's friend: "No, you must tell me"
Me: "Ermm no..."
Sister's friend: "Yes, send me a message on Facebook to tell me!"
Me: "NO."

OH's Nan: "Don't be laughing like that while you're pregnant, the baby will fall out!"
I'm sorry, what!?

Untactile friend: "You're having a boy because your bump is high and boys want tit"
Yeah, cheers for that.

Work colleague: "Wow, your bump is huge!"
Me: "Erm, we're actually having growth scans because the baby's growth is a bit behind & seems to be slowing down..."
Work colleague: "Oh... sorry about that"

Other work colleague: "You don't want to have a water birth because sometimes poo comes out in the pool"

Here are the comments from my boss at work -

Is there a good news? would you ever tell me, so that I can find someone to cover your maternity leave( my mistake, I had told her that I am TTC no 3, even gave me advice on most fertile days, positions, preg diet etc)

Are you sure its not twins this time (i had twins last time)

How many on board??

You are huge!!! are you sure of your dates, have you had your scan yet honey?

Your bump is really big and towards both sides,so I think it will be a girl this time again (I have twin girls already)

IS THIS YOUR LAST / WILL YOU GO AGAIN???

                        She says stuff like that when ever she sees me, I am really annoyed. I said to my DH, I have no more patience with my boss I will definitely beat her up if she says a thing about my bump again.... f<strong>*</strong>ng bitch...

Also forgot to add a comment from my mom- OH, I thought you are done with the twins (they are my only children), was it planned or unexpected? Oh poor little girls, who is going to look after them??? (they are 5 yrs old) ....etc

I have never forgotton my supressed rage at "When are you due?" repeatedly - AFTER my EDD.

You are all making me horribly broody - hope you get to see your babies soon!

Hehe I've had such a giggle reading through these, and it's helped me to realise I'm not the only pg woman in the world who wants to kill people who make irritating comments.

My own personal hell at the moment is EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF MY FAMILY and pretty much all my friends CONSTANTLY banging on about how "WELL" I look and how "HEALTHY" and "GLOWING" and "FULL OF ENERGY" and "WHAT A NATURAL" etc etc. Grrrrrrrr!!!!!
Whilst it's very nice of them to say such nice things, not ONE of them has at any point actually bothered to ask how I ACTUALLY FEEL (which is mostly: exhausted, irritable from lack of sleep, foggy-headed, and suffering from a kidney infection, acid reflux and SPD). ...It seems enough for them that I just appear to be "radiant" - and bugger what the actual truth may be.
I eventually cracked with my mum last week and after half an hour of the daily "ooooh arent you well/glowing/healthy" I tried to tell her about my kidney infection symptoms (I am an NHS professional so had self-diagnosed) and she laughed in my face and witheringly told me Im a hypochondriac and "couldnt possibly" have anything wrong with me as I look "fabulous", thus putting me firmly in my place and telling me (with all her deeply-relevant secretarial training) that my health qualifications are worth far less than her ability to "know" whether my kidney is infected or not just by looking at me and judging the quality of my "pregnant glow" (which, by the way, I buy by the bottle from Boots Number7 range and is entirely FAAAAKE!)

Sorry. Rant over!

I know it's a bit off topic but afterwards people so often say...

"oh... Is this x?'

no. I stole this one?

Absolutely agree with lifescomplicated; so, so sick of people insisting I look beautiful/wonderful/insert your own mushy yet untrue yakky word here. I have had hyperemesis throughout (am 40+3 today), my skin is sallow and spotty, my eyes are dull, my hair is, well, scraped up in a ponytail and the less said the better. And I am the size of a house. Don't patronise me because I'm pregnant, I am well aware that I look large, uncomfortable, ill, half starved and exhausted. I'm FINE with looking fat and exhausted; I am exhausted, I've been very ill and it's all in a good cause, but please stop treating me like my eyesight/brain/judgement has stopped functioning just because I'm knocked up. I have a gay friend who told me I looked "bloody awful, but it's not forever" and I cried with the lovely, lovely honesty of it.

Also, now we have gone over our edd, the weirdest conversation keeps happening, over again with various people;

Person; well? Any news/have you had it yet?
Me; (patiently, for the hundredth time) no, haven't had him yet.
Person; (in tone of authority) oh, well, hardly any babies come on the actual due date, you know. It might be WEEKS yet.
Me; (slightly less patiently) yes, I do know that. However, you asked...
Person; have you tried sex?
Me; (patience evaporating) um...
Person; well, let me know when there's any news.

Not sure;

a) why people think I might have had the baby and failed to mention it

b) why people feel the need to tell a large, grumpy overdue pregnant woman that this might last for WEEKS more

and

c) why everyone wants to know if my poor husband has managed to shag the large, grumpy, flatulent hippopotamus who currently resides in place of his wife.

Oh, and if one more person offers me a pineapple, I am going to commit a murder. Why don't people think before they speak?! Not one person who I have had that conversation with has bothered to say something as blindingly original as "how are you?" Would a little independent thought be too much to ask?

Can you tell I'm overdue and fed up? :) rah, rah, rah...

I went 10 days over with DS, so I had them all - "Aren't you huge?" "Any news yet?" etc. Funnily enough everyone was telling me I was so big I would "never go over with that one"

My favourite smug moment though was when I was getting a taxi home from my fifth (yes, FIFTH!) sweep and the taxi driver asked when I was due. I replied "last Monday" and I swear he slammed his foot down and I was home in seconds! Did he think I was going to suddenly unexpectedly give birth during the 5 minutes of the journey

FIL shortly before birth: I should warn you that we have very big heads in this family.
Gee thanks for freaking me out even more than I am already.

A friend of mine who has NEVER had children said to me when I was pregnant with my second "my mum said childbirth was no more painful than bad period pain". And this is worse - another friend of mine who has NEVER been pregnant said that my pregnancy sickness was "all in my mind" because some women don't get it.

I am sick of people telling me I am enormous, I am having twins, and actually compared to my first pregnancy, I have one of those amazing bumps that models in magazines have that I envied all the way through pg1!!

I am not really big at all, I am 27 weeks and considering it's twins, I would say it's really neat, I can still wear skinny jeans and fitted tops.

I'm not expecting for that to go on for the whole pg but if one more person recoils in horror at the size of my bump because they feel they have to I will smash them in the face with a high kick, which so far I can still manage

This morning, I went for a briskish walk this morning, neighbour (quite a few doors down) asked if I was going for some exercise, I just said, no a little walk to try and help baby hurry up, he said "oh, are you having another?" yes, I replied, due 2 days ago - "oh, you can hardly tell" he said......other people have been telling me how HUGE I am and MW is terrifying me with her projection that baby may be 4.5-5kg. I know I was overweight before, but seriously, I was wearing a t-shirt over my bump, surely he could tell there was SOMETHING there?!?!!

No, pregnancy sickness is ''all over my shoes" or "all over the pavement" and occasionally one is irrationally grateful for it to be "all down the toilet bowl"

This thread is making me laugh until I am in pain!

Livinginoz - love the taxi driver. I went 22 days over with my first. Very funny test driving a car - 'when's the baby due?' 'o 11 days ago, my waters could go at any time!'

I have 2 DDs and and DS and sooo many people say, 'O it'll be nice if DC4 is a boy'. Well, yes, and it would be nice if it were a girl too. SHUT UP! And everyone has to ask me if this is my last - why, am I a particularly rubbish mother who shouldn't be allowed to procreate?

So, scruffyhound any news yet?!

Random stranger: You'll have a new baby by Christmas, then!
Me: I hope not, it's not due til the end of February.
Random stranger: OMG, you'll never last til February, you're enormous!!

Many, many comments like the above...

Also:

Me: Guess what, I'm having a baby!
Friend: What? OMG, I bet you weren't expecting that. Are you happy about it?

Had several comments like the above. I was 28, had been married for 3 years, DH and I had good jobs, we owned our house...it is still a mystery to be why so many people thought we hadn't planned it. Also, if we hadn't planned it, did they really think I would tell everyone that? And answer 'are you happy?' with 'no, I'm fucking devastated'??

I just don't understand why people can't just say 'congratulations' and say you look nice, even if you don't.

Oh yes, had forgotten the person (only one this time, several first time) who asked "was it planned?" - like I'd be telling you if it hadn't been (and, as Strandtest said, am married and in my 30's...grr!)

I love this thread - here's one to throw into the mix:

Next door neighbour: Gosh look at that bump! I didn't even know you were pregnant [I am 37 weeks at this point]. When are you due?

me: April 27th

Neigbour: Make sure you don't have it on the 20th

me: why?

neighbour: That's Hitler's birthday.

I kid you not.

Loving this thread, 39+4 now and I hate going anywhere as i know i'll get so many comments.

FIL told me i was 'vast', some reference to a battleship, and 'fatty' last weekend

Tried counting the comments one day before the school holidays started. Gave up by the end of the morning school run.

Actually said no to a woman who asked to touch the bump last week, felt all assertive. Doesn't stop the non-askers though.

FIL still in one piece Justkeepswimming? Not sure mine would be!

LOL I managed to restrain myself, just.

This is the same man who, on being told I was pg with number 2 (on DS1's 1st bday), said 'What are you? rabbits?'

Been round the corner for more Gaviscon (the joys):

• neighbour (a woman with a 1yr old = should know better): Not had it yet?

• chemist: Not long to go then?
• random gardener: What are you hoping for?

me: oh I don't mind

Is there nothing else to talk to me about??!?!

WTF?! Give that man a prize for tact!!

ROFL at - you and I are on EXACTLY the same page - bless it, my arse - get out and STOP growing inside me!!!! (did I mention 40+2?!)!

Well lots of fed up ladies eh?! Well thats annoying in its self And Im one of the annoyed ladies!! Been to see the consultant today im now 41 weeks and I will be induced next Friday at 9am. Im feeling a little pissed off now and want this growing energy sapping spider monkey out now. I like to think Im maternal as I have a 5yr old and love him to bits. However at this moment in time if anyone asked how its going its going very very shit Im fed up and want this little bugger out of my body I want it back I want to bend down or walk to the shops without having groin/pubic pain. I dont want to drive anywhere anymore as it hurts. So all in all no Im pissed off trying to smile and trying to stay awake as the kids are off school. Trying to cook tea for DP whos been at work all day and prob thinks what the prob with cooking the tea its not too much to ask? I think Fuck off and do it your self!! Hes not said that but Im verging on it. Also DS is not his son its my ex husbands the ex husband is a dick as well.
Also when you lie down on the bed for an internal or stretch and sweep I struggle to get back up most of the midwives ignor this as they have loads of people to see and you feel you have to bolt upright and get out! The same with the consultant today my groin was killing trying to lift the other leg up it hurt no help just stood there no help getting up!!
Man I am one grouchy MO FO today!!! By the way love "get the fuck out"! ha ha

Oh, wait, wait ....the worst thing EVER said to me when I was pregnant was FIL who, on Christmas Day, when I was seven months pregnant sat with a big smile on his ugly face and told me a story about his colleauge's daughter who had an unexplained stillbirth.

I still don't understand what he hoped to achieve by telling me that.

annoying loud alpha mum atschool gates OMG are you pregnant again?
me (34 weeks)- weak laugh.. Yeah
alam - really loud voice 'OMG how many is that? 5? Did you want 5 children?
me (still slightly at having been acccosted on school run) well actually were quite happy about it once we got over the shock
alam - really???

This went on for a while... Another mum actually texted me afterwards to check I was ok as she was going on so ridiculous.

I have pretty thick skin and was more internally cringing on her behalf as she ,ade such a tit of herself.

I have had a lot of 'was it planned' comments though. I actually dont really mind as most people are genuinely fascinated by people who have more than 2 dcs.

I think people have children and as many as they want. I want to stop at 2 for a few reasons really I think I would not cope very well. Im worried how I will cope with 2 and I dont have loads of money and want to be able to afford my 2 children and give them things they would like but not spoil them if any of that makes sense?! But that is my opinion! Not someone elses I sure would not feel I was entitled to say how many children someone else should have! My mum came from a family of 9 brothers and sisters thats my idea of hell but someone elses idea of heaven? Im too selfish as well I like a bit of time to my self. Everyone is different and without children in the world we have no one to carry on with things. I love people who are against children alll together and dont want them around they are forgetting that we have the children and they grow up that person who did not want any and does not like them maybe cared for in an old peoples home by our children or help them with something at some point in their lives. It does make me giggle.