Breastfeeding pressure overshadowing labour worries

[BeedeBee]

Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to breastfeed, esp so soon after delivery? I don't want to breastfeed but after lots of pressure from DH, NCT and local Children's Centre, I've agreed to 'try'. Now I can't stop worrying about the horrible time I'm going to have after birth, especially overnight on the post-natal ward when my DH will have gone home, trying and probably failing to do something I really, really don't want to do. It's really getting me down. I can't imagine having the mental strength to deal with any BF-related bullying on the post-natal ward.

This is my first baby.

Am I alone?

oh god I just realised how long my post was sooooo sorry

kikibo - I would suggest you find and read the original article, but as you managed to attribute two comments to me that were made by another poster I think I had better summarise for you. It is so tedious having to say this time and time again, but here goes.

That study was not a study it was an opinion piece. It concluded nothing. It merely raised the possibility that some babies, for a variety of reasons, may benefit from the introduction of solid food before 6 months of age and suggested this as a subject for further research. It most certainly did not say that babies breastfed for 6 months are more at risk from allergies. The opinion piece was widely misreported by the media and widely criticised by experts in the field.

Sorry to go off at a tangent, BeedeBee, but misinformation such as that given by kikibo needs correcting. Please read what I have to say below.

I didn't know what to say to you personally because I didn't want to pressurise or cause offence. But has anyone told you that the most important time for breastfeeding is the first week or two? Would it help you at all to think about trying for the first week, even the first couple of days. The benefits to your baby would be lifelong and it's a few days out of your life. If you don't plan on breastfeeding long term there are loads of things you could do to make it easier in the short term, for example:

If your nipples get sore you could use nipple shields - they can impact on supply (although they didn't for me) but if you weren't going to continue long term that wouldn't matter.

Once your milk comes in you could give night time bottles of formula if you wanted. If you wanted to wind down breastfeeding with a minimum of discomfort this would help not build too large a supply.

Does it help to turn it around a bit like this? I am wondering if the whole "bf exclusively for 6 months, don't give bottles, don't use dummies" spiel is part of what has put you off?

Well if the OP felt pressure before she will be feeling it in abundance now!

I had a horrid time with DS who wouldnt/ couldn't latch and went to endless clinics and lactation specialists etc who offered advice but couldn't help. Expressed for a whiland then put him on formula feeling horrendesly guilty about it but it was actually the best decision and he thrived and I was much less stressed.

With DD I decided I didn't want to bf but would do it for a month so she go the 'good stuff' at the start. She was an excellent feeder but I still hated it and was so relieved once she moved to formula.

Do whats best for you.

Sick. to. death. of the this 'BFing bullying' crap, along with all nasty BFing Nazi/ Mafia crap. As if life is all la-di-da being part of some imagined huge powerful majority who BF.
OP - if you don't want to BF, DON'T. That's the end of it. But don't expect healthcare professionals to applaud you. Help you and support you in your choice - yes. Agree that the world is terrible and nasty for not encouraging you to do what you want to do? No.
The world and his wife will have lots of opinions on everything you do as a mother. it is your job to stick to your guns, have the courage of convictions and do it your way - but don't complain of bullying every time you hear something you don't like/ agree with.

TCOB well don't you sound a little bit like a bully yourself. Here, have a

A bully? Nope. I don't tend to think of people as 'bullies' unless they do what my work colleague did which is try and push you to the point of nervous breakdown as their mission in life. Everything else is just opinions, dear

feed your baby how you wish.best wishes when baby comes

please please speak with your dh about this. it concerned me in your post about 'pressure from dh'. regardless of what any professionals or other mums say, what will matter is having your dh's support. your hormones will be flying all over the place and any comments or disagreements with dh in the first few days could tar your enjoyment with your newborn. you and your dh need to have some sort of agreement, so that you can support each other. please speak with him and get him on board.

sod everyone else, enjoy your baby and good luck! such an exciting time.

Kikibo you misdirected comments to gaelic sheep when you meant to direct them to me. Are you following the same pattern you undertake when reading research? Getting it wrong.

Now the reason I think you are uncomfortable with anyone bf in front of you, is because you are so clearly uncomfortable with and unsupportive about bf. That is my opinion. I just read through your posts and came to my opinion.

I think your comments whereby you imply breastfeeding mothers are putting their babies at risk of suffocation by co-sleeping is outrageous and really dangerous.

If you don't want to BF then don't. Your baby will be fine on formula.Don't give it another thought.

I've FF #1 from 1 week
Mixed fed #2 for 3 months
EB #3 for 5 months

and whispering............I much prefer FF. Don't sweat about it.

I won't bore you with my experience as that won't aid your decision.

You really don't have to make this decision now, just enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

All I would say is check that the hospital provide FF as some don't now, so you will have to pack your own. But just because it is in your bag doesn't mean you have to use it. Just if you choose BF really isn't for you, you have the backup.

Throughout pregnancy and throughout the first few years of motherhood, you will be bombarded with opinions, and you have to remember that is all they are. You control what decisions you make no one else.
Also you will hear lots of experience stories, and whilst they are sometimes informative and useful, sometimes they are a bit graphic or traumatic which isn't helpful, you just have to remember that they are one or two experiences and in no way are guranteed to happen in your case.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Fizzylollies they do hide the formula from you they did for me! No one told me in ante-natal that they don't keep formula on the post natal wards so when I asked for DD to have a bottle there was none! Had to send DP back out to get formula at some stupid time of night while the MW banged on about breast feeding instead so yes in some ways they do force you to breastfeed.

OP - do what you want to do when your baby arrives, the most essential ingredient is love.

They don't provide nappies, maternity pads or anything else. Why should they provide formula unless in an emergency?

my hospital provided a few nappies and maternity pads each time i have had a baby, including 8 wks ago with dd. they wont give you loads but will give you a few. They had a little trolley on the ward with maternity pads and they put a few nappies in the baby cot.

re the bfeeding thing, its your choice, i think its nice to give it a go, but if you say you dont want to then i am sure you will be fine, there were loads of mums bottlefeeding when i had dd. Those that formula fed were given little glass bottles with a pre sterilised teat.

Babydubs..... I do find it strange that people aren't enticed to try bf, it's natural.......I did not say bad mother just odd. Not my baby, not my money either.

gaelicsheep because some might want to bottle feed by choice? And have been very ill informed by the pro BF NCT/midwives and not TOLD there is no formula on the ward and then find ourselves stuck not to mention those who try Bf unsuccessfully and then are stuck because they have a hungry baby as happened to me. Of course they should provide formula and advise on how to bottle feed if needed. Oh and my hosp did give out nappies and mat pads too.

The reason formula is not readily available on wards is because it is known to undermine bfing.

I think if you kick up a fuss and or ask you will ofcourse find some formula. I thought it was made clear whether formula would be provided before your turn up.

The hospital will have some formula for emergencies and they will not expect your baby to starve, but I would have thought if you were planning on FF that you would bring your own.

In the current climate I am very surprised hospitals still provide anything like nappies etc. Mine certainly didn't. Of course they should have formula for emergencies as I already said, but if you plan to formula feed why wouldn't you take your own?

Yes, why wouldn't you take your own formula, nappies and pads. Unless ofcourse you went into labour when you were not near home and then someone could bring in your hospital bag.

I am another one whose experience is that the pressure in postnatal wards is to formula feed - not breastfeed. I had to physically prevent a night midwife from giving my DS formula DESPITE him feeding well, pooing & peeing, being healthy with a good latch from day one. (I was in postnatal a week)

Not unique experience either - went to a maternity services feedback meeting couple of weeks ago and that was pretty much everyone's feedback.

If you want to formula feed from the start then its your choice and you need to make that clear.

Catinthehat and ThePosieParker
Why respond to a title with this thread if you are just going to be nasty. Get lost and go to a different thread.
OP Its totally up to you, dont be pressured but bfeeding is not always really difficult and can be so convenient - and helps you lose weight!

Tondelayo yes my experience was that a MW did take my baby and give formula, very early on, which then did negatively impact my supply. A real nightmare early on.

I wonder if these negative experience of BFing that are playing on the OP's mind are like traumatic birth stories.

You know if BF goes well, it goes well. I was always sensitive to a couple of mums I knew who had had a real hard time BFing and had changed to formula as a result, so I was not exactly going to rock up and say how easy it was for me, once it was established.

When I was pregnant I had some friends who had some very traumatic birth stories and used to re-tell them often. After a while it didn't do me any good dwelling on them, if you see what I mean.

Compared to pregnancy, labour, birth, nappies, weaning, teething, etc., etc., etc., breastfeeding really ain' that bad you know

Carolina.....Is your post supposed to be ironic?