ok what sort of poeple wer e on your ward if you were in hospital

[cod]

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this same woman when she was admitted was lying in her bed when the incredibly posh midwife bounced up to her bed

"Hello! My name's Sister Helen. I see from your notes your name is Patricia, what do you like to be called Pat or Patricia?" (said with posh voice and beaming smile)

"Caroline"

I truly nearly pee'ed myself laughing.

Also opposite her a woman came in leaking fluid. Conversation behind the curtain:

Doc: "You say you're leaking fluid. What does it look like?"

Patient: "Piss"

rofl skinny

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nope. Birmingham Mat.

With ds BUPA very kindly provided me with a room to myself.

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yes vile.

The baby did live by teh way and was taken away as soon as she gave birth.

This reminds that, where I had ds2, a new mum's drunken husband came to the ward at about 11pm and started trying to have sex with her! He got slung out pdq.

gawd - how long have you got?

last time i was across the 4 bedded bay from a very ...er...local(? nicer word than chav???) woman, who already had grandchildren and was having her fifth or sixth baby. she was frightful, to put it mildly, and kept screeching across the ward. when her family turned up they were just soooooooo cliche and ugly and ..well made you shudder and gather all valuables around you. she never took the baby with her when she went to the bathroom,loo, or smoking area.... just left it -bawling- by itself.

i am soooooooo talking myself into home birth this time

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The very young woman in the bed next to me delivered her baby on the side of the road between Porirua and Wellington (NZ). The nurses kept checking the baby's temperature to make sure that it wasn't cold because it was a winter's night.

Had a v young mum in my ward whose mum came to see her new grandchild. Suddenly there was an uproar and the gran vanished, shortly to appear next to her daughter with her own new baby.

oh skinnycow i have just cant stop laughing and i know i shouldnt be laughging

i actually had a room when i had dd and it was next to the scanning room, bloody hell the amount of arguments people used to have in that room was untrue

I had my own room with ds1 and went home straight from delivery suite with ds2 and ds3. Thank God as well judging by those heavily pregnant with fags hanging out of their mouths round the entrance.

fio - up until recently i couldnt even tell that story without laughing my sides off, but i can assure you, you really had to be there to get full benefit.

When DS1 was still in SCBU in Homerton Hospital, I was in the postnatal ward when a fight broke out between a new mother and a bloke whom I assume was the baby's father - he was shouting and swearing about her and her blood claat family...then she picked up a chair and threw it at him - this in a ward full of tiny newborn babies - I went and hid until security bundled him out. Poor baby, what a start in life eh...

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all of it cod, esp the 'caroline" and the 'piss"

and me and jampots can luckily do the accent too, which makes it even funnier, hehe

yes i think that helps Fio! although cod can appreciate it too - goo on cod, give uz yer best brummie

oh gawd, you will appreciate how embarassed i am about this..... someone asked me if i was from TIPTON yesterday

lockets - I had a funny feeling that might be the case!

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