were you told you weren't in labour?

[bossykate]

i was....

have a look at this news story

If I'd been her I would have gone to the hospital and screamed blue murder until I was seen! Fancy staying at home!

My goodness,there is a midwife's nightmare when dealing with situations over the phone. Obviously this poor couple were not able to convey the correct information. I do not believe the staff could have been aware that this woman was so advanced in labour. When a woman says she is contracting regularly, they are painful and her waters have broken, she needs to be admitted no matter how busy the hospital is. Would like to know more from the hospital's side regarding the phonecall.

OMG - I had my DD there!
In the active birth centre, not the main maternity ward mind you but.......... that's outrageous

I too would have gone into hospital. When I had dd the area I had her in were very busy with deliveries and several other ladies had to be driven (by their birthing partners) to the next hospital which was over 1hr away. They were told that the maternity ward had no beds and some even had to have directions. I wonder how many people only just made it?

Glad I was booked in to be induced!

I had ds there too- started out in the birth centre, but only after I insisted on staying - I was told to go home originally (1am in the morning). It all went pearshaped a couple of days later ending in emergency c-section.

I was too. Never mind that I was in screaming pain with contractions every 3 min. They tried to send me home, I refused and spent the next 12 hours laboring in a waiting room. When my mother finally persuaded a doctor to check my, I was 7 cm dialated....ended up having an emergency c-section.
It was a different london hospital. But I think it's commonplace.

message withdrawn

That advice to take paracetemol and have a bath is EXACTLY what I was given. In the end the midwife arrived only about half an hour before ds was born and I had an unplanned homebirth on the bathroom floor with only the paracetemol I'd taken as pain relief...

I was induced with my first son and was told, categorically, that "the pessaries never work first time with first babies..you will get period-type pains but you won't be in labour. First time Mums always need a second lot of pessaries to get labour started."

A few hours later I was in so much pain, doubting my ability to get through labour at all, and saying to my dh (through gritted teeth) "I can't do it - this isn't even labour and I'm in agony." The Midwife on the ward obviously thought I was completely pathetic, she wouldn't even examine me. Finally, in exasperation, she agreed to send me up to a delivery suite to be checked over (I wasn't making a fuss, I was just quietly being in a lot of pain). the Midwife in the Delivery Suite examined me and said "oh gosh..you're 8cms dilated." DS1 was born 4 hours later.

The MW on the ward apologised to me the next day and said "you should have made more fuss - you were so quiet I would never have thought you were in labour."

With DS2 I stayed at home as long as possible, then went in at 7.30 am, just as the shift change was in progress. I was put on a side-ward, as all the delivery suites were occupied (it was Christmas - there's never any room at the inn!) and left alone. At 8.45 a passing MW (seeing the pain on DH's face from my gripping his hand so tightly) said "have you been seen yet?" Nope, says me. Guess what? 8cms dilated again. Finally got my blessed gas and air at 5 to 9 and at 5 minutes past 9 was told "we have a room ready now, can you walk there?" I said I could when the current contraction passed then said "no..I'm going to push" The MW said to me (get this!) "oh no..not here..we've got the room ready!"

Yeah right. Two pushes later and there was DS2, born on a side ward, next to the open door to the Nurses Station where all the Mums and Mums to be were getting their toast and cereal, they didn't even have time to pull the curtain round the bed.

So yes, I think it happens all the time. I reckon we're all too stoical - we should scream and shout and carry on like women giving birth on TV and in films

Bossykate that news story is disgusting.Also all your experiences are very sad.

I had a similar experience with ds2 and TBH this is bringing back awful memories.

All I can say to you ladies is if you think you are in labour DEMAND to be seen and checked over thoroughly. Dont get foffed off.

I also had a bad experience with DS, being told that there was "no point in coming in as its a bank holiday weekend and there are no beds left"!. The problem is that with your first labour you just don't know what to expect, despite how many books you've read, so if a midwife tells you you're not in labour it can be very difficult to argue. In the end, DH had had enough and bundled me into the car and took me to hospital. I remember seeing another labouring mother getting out of the car next to us and thinking "she's not getting my bed". We must have looked completley mental as we both charging off toward the door, stopping bent double during contractions and then taking off again in our bid to be next in the queue!

My BF had very similar experience with her third. You'd think my then the midwife would accept that she knew what she was talking about when she said she was in established labour but no they said "you know you're not really in labour don't you". Contractions were every 3 mins.
She got back in the car, drove home for half an hour, got out of car and immediately got back in and drove back - her dd3 was born in half an hour!
She actually said she couldn't understand in hindsight why she didn't stand her ground but sometimes you can be made to feel as though they are the experts and are right no matter what(whI realise they are the experts but you know what I mean!)

and can I just say, respect to you marthamoo - you must be made of stearn stuff to get that far without any Gas and Air and without any shouting!

I can't believe how often this happens!

With my DS2 they gave me a Tamazepam (sp?) and told me to go to sleep (kept me in hospital at least) and within half an hour I was up pacing the corridors being told 'not to be so silly, just get back to bed, it was up to me if I wanted to exhaust myself', thankfully a more compasionate midwife was passing and thought I looked in a bit of a state so suggested that the midwife on duty examine me and when she did I was 6 cms dilated and my waters were bulging, she was lucky she didn't have to deliver DS2 on the ward, I got thrown into a wheelchair and taking down to the delivery ward, my DH just made it to the hospital on time to see him born. At least she had the decency to apologise the next day.

Definitely (as another midwife) agree with Mears. I too would like to hear the hospital's side. My dd was an unplanned homebirth, on my living room floor with no pain relief. Lucky I knew what I was doing as I started to haemorrhage after the birth - fortunately my friend (also a midwife)who was delivering her, and I, managed to massage my uterus to contract it manually, get the placenta out and inject me with ergometrine to help stop the bleeding. I distinctly remember wincing as I injected myself - after all I'd just gone through, what a wimp!

OMG! I'm due in 10 weeks and am panicking now! Thats not what they say happens in the books! Where are the caring midwives, smiling encouragingly at mumtobe, as portrayed in my book (by Miriam stoppard, so it must be true!)
God, am going to labour ward NOW to be sure of getting all drugs going! Paracetamol? Are they mad?!

Lisa78 - honestly don't panic, it's very unlikely. But DO NOT be afraid to speak your mind and tell people exactly how you're feeling and what you ant to happen.

To be honest, it's so unlikely that you'll ever bump into any of the staff ever again, with the exception of your own midwife who you'll know anyway.

Insist, insist, insist, even if you feel like you're imposing on people. This is the one time you can get away with it

My sis was told same about bath and paracetamol - staff said she was in labour but too early to do anything about it. Insisted on staying, nobody checked her for six hours or so and then - oh what a surprise, woman in labour dilates - was suddenly discovered to be about to give birth and rushed into a labour room.

My mum was told very similar when she was having me. I was born in an X-ray room where they'd stashed her for the night (midwife told my dad that 'taking one look at your wife I can tell she's not going to give birth tonight' - don't know whether this was sheer sexism or compounded by the fact my mum is Asian and my dad is white). She had my sister at home after that...

Yet another reason for going for a planned home birth... they can't really ignore you to the same extent in your own house

my lot believed I was in labour, but wouldn't believe that I was giving birth! I said "I think I can feel something" and they said "don't be silly, you were only 2 cm an hour and a half ago. Try to get some rest". I said "no, really..." and one midwife finally looked and said "the head is out! don't push! don't push!"

silly cow. it was my 2nd as well, I did VAGUELY know what giving birth felt like.

www, unfortunately, that is not true, if they don't believe you are in labour, they won't come to the house, so you could be forced to go to the hospital just to get assessed...

don't want to put anyone off homebirths, but if they don't believe you are in labour, you will be on your own at home! i know from bitter experience!

I didn't have this experience luckily ... as mine was a 3 day labour and I was in and out of hospital like a yo yo ...
But I just wanted to say how awful and scary it must have been for all of you that had this experience and that it is inexcusable!
Oh and MBB ... sorry, but the image of you and the other lady racing for the labour ward to get there first really made me chuckle! Sorry ...

Ghosty -- you're also awake at this hour?

I know someone who was told (scolded, more like by MW) that she was ages from delivery, why did you call me out, etc.? She was only 17 and homebirths were norm then (1958). She ended up giving birth by herself less than two hours later she was too scared she might be calling the MW back prematurely.

What's worse, she went into hospital with premature labour a few years later & ended up giving birth by herself again in an emergency room corridor. So much for the Good Old Days, eh?

Zebra ... I am 11 hours ahead of you guys ... in NZ you see !
It is now 8.15 pm .. just had my dinner ... gonna watch a bit of telly and am off to beddy byes!!

I went in at 10pm after my waters broke and was suspected breech (turned out not) and VBAC, was examined and despite regular contractions was told that I wasn't in labour and they would have sent me home if I had not been only 36 weeks (39 by my dates) so they sent me up to the ward with paracetamol and a sleeping tablet.I was quite sure that I was in labour but you can't tell the experts can you? Ten minutes later I couldn't cope with the pain so they sent me for a bath. Someone called in to check on me a few minutes later and found me sat in the bath shaking like mad because I was in trasition. Three midwives to haul me out of the bath, stick me in a wheelchair and rush off down to the delivery suite. DD arrived about 30 minutes later. Fortunately we didn't live too far away and dh had only just got his foot through the door, so hadn't sent the babysitter home and he came straight back to the hospital again in the nick of time.