Anyone in the police who can help us? OCD.

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My teenage ds has had a diagnosis of severe ocd. Lots of different themes and compulsions over the years. We are almost at the stage of getting therapy through camhs after first applying 5 years ago.

I'll keep it short but, for a huge amount of time my son has been worried about a video he viewed on you tube which he deemed to be illegal and has reported it several times. He revisited it a few times to see if it has been taken down but it wasn't. He is convinced that because he viewed this video then he will be arrested. It consumes his life and he says he can't even look to the future because he will probably go to jail. I have viewed the videos, they're slightly strange but they're nothing that would be deemed illegal which is why they haven't been taken down. He also worries about cartoons he's viewed on you tube a while ago that he's worried about.

It's absolutely heartbreaking to see him like this, he says he feels like he wants to die because of it. Me and dh have spent many nights up late getting him to realise everything is OK, talk about it in a logical way. The only thing left we can think of to do is get someone from the police to talk this through with him. I just want to know what people think the police would say? Would they think we are mad. Do they understand ocd, is this something they may have come across?

Many thanks in advance.

We have a local pcso who works with schools and brownies etc more in an educational role. Maybe someone like that would be worth contacting?

This may be a crazy idea. I'm putting it out there to consider rather than saying 'do it now!'

What if he reported himself to 101 for viewing this video? Could it possibly be a way for him to feel a sense of control over what he currently can only control by obsession?

Yes, that could work although I have mentioned to ds and he says please don't. I'm interested to know if the police are familiar with ocd. I know it is well known that people worrying they've done something wrong/committed a crime when they haven't is very common in some people with ocd.

When it gets that bad, I say to him why don't you go to the police and show them the videos youve watched, but he gets upset.

That's just reinforcing the anxiety as having validity and will keep it going. I think that's a good example of a maladaptive coping strategy though.

Community police support plus school pastoral team

I think you would be better focused on soothing strategies to sit with the anxiety. The more you try and rationalise and argue the more you're engaging with the fears and thereby validating them.

I don't think this would help, it just sows a seed that there was validity in the fear and it will keep coming up.

And no, the likelihood of any given member of policing having a meaningful understanding of OCD to be able to engage in a way that would be therapeutically beneficial is next to zero.

I understand you are trying to help but I don't think this will.

My DD is similar. She watched a kids film and then realised it was not legal to watch it and now obsesses about it every night. She thinks the police will latest her. It takes a lot of talking doesn't it. No advice but I feel your pain

I would be doing my utmost to try to arrange therapy now whilst waiting for a CAMHs appointment. Is this something you could afford? Can school support you in organising this?

Does he take any medication? Sertraline is very good for ocd in teens and older

My 11 year old daughter has very bad OCD symptoms which started in the summer.

I got her to see a lady that specialises in clay and art therapy. It worked bloody wonders and I have my daughter back, it wasn't that costly either at £45 per session. My daughter is discharged now, but may just have a catch up session with her every few months.

We have a date now with camhs, thank goodness i have in the past paid for private and he won't tell the therapist about this so we are just skimming the surface.

That's great. My ds is very artistic but when he's worried about this subject he feels that there's no point doing anything enjoyable and he also feels he doesn't deserve to do nice things. It's so difficult...I'm so pleased your dd is doing well.

He has been on fluoxetine but came off it recently. He was over due for a meds review but we had no psychiatrist in our camhs. I think the fluoxetine helped with the checking and that side of things but he felt quite tired and depressed with it at points. I think seetraline would be worth a try.

Oh my word OP. I could’ve written your post about my DS (pre-teen). I didn’t think of it as an OCD thing until now, but I’ve been assuming it’s part of his generally anxious personality. He does get hyper fixed on things. Lately it’s been his utter belief he’ll be arrested for having accidentally searched viewed something inappropriate when he was using an old second hand laptop donated in the pandemic. He’s carried these fears around all this time, convinced the laptop will be unearthed from the local tip, searched, and traced back to him and he’ll be jailed. No amount of exploration of the logic / logistics / likelihood seems to work. I’ve tried some basic CBT tools such as examining faulty thinking, coming up with a ‘defence’ to the ‘prosecution’ of his mind. I’ve started to realise that our circular discussions of it are probably feeding the problem, so I’m working on teaching him distraction techniques or self-resourcing (with limited success). It’s a tricky one as due to my profession I feel I should be able to ‘sort’ his difficulties myself (at risking of outing myself I won’t go into detail).

They also had a class trip last year to a place where they learnt about gangs, drugs, crime etc which although it was a year ago it’s created a whole world of havoc….he won’t go out in the dark even with me, he won’t visit any main cities, he’s scared of anyone in tracksuits….

I’m sorry that I don’t have better advice / tips to give you but it helps me to know I’m not the only one in this boat. If you want to chat about it more, feel free to DM me and maybe we can muddle things out.

It sounds like severe anxiety and he is catastrophing.

I don't think it will make any difference talking to the police tbh because he isn't think rationally.

I would remove all devices with access to the internet and work on all the usual things that help with anxiety to build his confidence (routine, gentle exercise, plenty of food, getting out the house.)

Every time he mentions it say 'this is your anxiety talking, you are completely safe.'

There are a few self help books on anxiety that maybe helpful for your Ds to read to understand what's going on.

My child has OCD. It has been better in the last couple of years but still flares up sometimes. He and I have realised that what works best is distraction rather than me trying to rationalise things for him. I therefore no longer try to be logical etc about the content/meaning of his intrusive thoughts. We have various things that work eg he gives me his phone so he can’t obsessively watch certain videos, we watch a comfortable well loved kids film, we go for a walk somewhere (ideally where there is a big sky type of view as that seems to work best), he goes for a long bike ride, we try practising a foreign language. He discovered music a few years ago and that helps massively in terms of day to day anxiety management (he plays daily). I paid for counselling and he learned a lot about how to manage his condition. Camhs were useless unfortunately. He is almost an adult and I worry about his ocd getting worse when he is living away from me in the future. It’s very hard.

if you can’t afford to pay for private therapy I strongly recommend phoning camhs regularly to ask for an update re when his treatment will start

Hugs to you!! This sounds like my son to a T and also the other things your son is worried about my son was too at that age. It is anxiety/ocd. You're right in terms of not feeding it and I know the worse thing really is to reassure but it's so hard. My son is gentle and kind has high morals and all his worries over the years have been the worry of harming someone in some way. Sending love as I know how hard it is.

The video is a red herring. Even if you did manage to convince him via the police that there was nothing to worry about, next week it would be something else irrational.
Pay for private therapy. Scrape everything you have and look into CBT or other therapy’s for him asap.

It starts in 2 weeks. I have a date and it will be with a clinical psycologist however my ds says I'm not to mention the videos to her. Maybe after he builds up a relationship he will

Your poor dd, its so so hard I know xx

I was a teen with (undiagnosed) OCD. It was a terrifying mental place to be. I didn’t know that’s what I had until I was older, and was in therapy for anxiety - it was suggested to me based on the things I was describing.

I have had CBT and lots of talk therapy in the years since.

As a teen, I think I would have found CBT and one-on-one art therapy with a specialist helpful, and also meditation and mindfulness practices (which weren’t mainstream when I was young).

My own coping mechanisms were things like maladaptive daydreaming, which both helped and really didn’t and I still struggle with falling into this trap now.

Good luck OP. Your son is lucky to have you. My parents (who are caring lovely people) ignored it because anything to do with mental health was taboo. My life was pretty bleak for a while.

Sending so much love. OCD is a horrible thing to deal with. I am determined to do everything in my power to get him better but I really am struggling myself now especially over this theme as this one will not go.

Oh that’s good. Hope that it helps him. Really difficult situation and all you want to do is be able to help them but you don’t know the best way.

OCD is a devastating condition, we have a lot of experience with severe cases in my family and I fully empathise with your situation. I agree with PP that therapy and medication will both be needed to help your son. He should see a psychiatrist/have a review as soon as possible, privately if necessary, as the right medication will help to alleviate the most crippling effects of the anxiety which is currently paralysing him by the sounds of things; the therapy will be able to address the obsessions and compulsions in the short and long term. I know how awful it is to watch someone you love go through this but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck